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Salty Lips

When the clouds have swept the sun away,
just when we planned a hike..

When we're pulled apart by distance,
just when a hug feels right.

When sickness drags me to bed..
Even on your Birthday..

When we go to the movies,
and we take an hour to choose the film..

When sneaking out lightens our minds,
the fear of the dark always holds us back.

When the phone line disconnects,
and calling back will wake our parents..

When the moment is perfect,
and our lips somehow miss..

When a mishap has me falling from your arms,
and not in the metaphorical way..

When the waves are too small for us to surf..
after driving for so long.

When everything is so unpredictable and so very unique..
I'm falling in love with you more.

Imperfect Love. No rules.
Just whatever makes you laugh..

Author notes

This poem is about the love and friendship that I have for my boyfriend, Alex. I tried to express mostly that love is not just one standard thing, and comes differently to everyone. Happy reading!
Written January 28th, 2006

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Forever-Damned
    February 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is so adorable! You are such a talented writer! I have to admit, I haven't read any of your poems, but what I have read I love!! I am so happy for you!! You deserve it! Just make sure you to don't end like me and Jesse did! Especially not in the same way! Lol. Anyways, love it!! And well done!!!!! Em

  • Aurora Ceres
    February 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Aw this is so cute..well written..romantic...kinda funny in a few places..i really loved these lines
    "When everything is so unpredictable and so very unique..
    I'm falling in love with you more."

    I feel that way bout someone. Thank you so much for this lovely creation.


  • PrincessOfFire
    February 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very relaxed and casual expresion of love. I feel the flow needs work just a little. Good lick in the contest.
    Rose


  • Kristin.
    February 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This poem is ssooo delicate... n cool... very nice... i really enjoyed it a lot... awesome write... poet14


  • lovealotbear
    February 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks Kate!, Alex likes it too lol, it made him laugh! Thanks for the comment! And I would never forget you, I'm missing you too much!!

    Annie
    Edited on Feb 02, 3:00 because ''.


  • Confusicus
    February 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hey Annie,

    I'm baaack!!
    This was so beautiful, I can't comment with dignity on something as this, because I know it was raw and heartfelt and my words wouldn't do it justice.

    Hope you're not forgetting me!

    -Confusicus.

  • champ
    January 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    its almost as how love should be...

  • lovealotbear
    January 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thankyou!

  • champ
    January 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    annie this is so beautiful! all so cute ! lol i love it! like its cool how everything kinda relates and stuff well done precious! love la mia

  • nothing-important
    January 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this is so sweet annie! im glad your so happy! great write! keep it up!


  • Dancing-Incessantly
    January 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is so cute!! Lol I love romance!!

  • IDreamAlot
    January 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    ANNNIIIIIEEE! this is beautiful! soo lucky to have alex! lol
    Luv u babe!
    Stace xoxo

  • lovealotbear
    January 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thankyou very much, no need to apologies! Those words are very welcome


  • lovealotbear
    January 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thankyou for your comment! And thanks also for your suggestion, I'll use it for sure

    I really do want to thank you for your detailed comment as it felt like you really appreciated the points in the poem I really tried to bring out. Thankyou!!

    Annie
    Edited on Jan 28, 1:43 because ''.


  • myron silver member
    January 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    wonderful love poem

    well, you know what they say - a poet's not a poet until they write a love poem.

    i'm sure the person you wrote this for will love you even more because of this wonderful present.

    & i admire the way you were able to paint a little portrait of the two of you together. some of your details are excellent:

    When the clouds have swept the sun away,
    just when we planned a hike..

    or this one:

    When the waves are too small for us to surf..
    after travelling for forty-five minutes.

    & i like the humour & irony here:

    When the moment is perfect,
    and our lips somehow miss..


    & this couplet which gives the reader a good clue about your ages:

    When the phone line disconnects,
    and calling back will wake our parents..

    they say that using vivid images and providing evocative details are two necessary ingredients for a poet. well, you have them both...


    my only suggestion is to change the last verse which is in three lines. the rest of the poem is in couplets (which i thought was a romantic technique to use).

    Imperfect Love. No rules.
    Just whatever makes you laugh..




    all the very best,
    myron.


  • tinuelena
    January 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, applause.

    This is true love-- profuse apologies for that disgusting two word cliche, but it really is.

    Elizabeth

1 - 16 of 16