Three days on the road, I reached my hometown.
There's my old school, there's the playground.
Over there was Tommy's house, and that one Betty-Lou's.
Here's the place my dad worked at, they called the House of Blues.
I drove for about an hour, all around this old place;
looking up and down the streets, in hopes to find a familiar face.
There's the place we bought our dog; boy, was he the best;
and there's the old cemetery, where my parents were laid to rest.
I finally reached the edge of town, when a sign had caught my eye;
"Auction Today..here's a house you could buy".
The address on the sign was not a strange one to me;
for this is where I grew up, and just had to go and see.
I drove on down the country road, to the place our mailbox once stood.
There still in the ol' oak tree, is the fort we made of wood.
No matter where you stood or played, mothers cooking you could smell;
and down the hill we fished that pond, and over there our well.
With money I saved, I'll put in my bid,
in hopes to buy the house, I lived in as a kid.
I knocked upon the front door, as I stood there in the cold,
after a few minutes they answered, and told me the house was sold.
Saddened by the news of what I had heard, I handed them my card,
turned as I thanked them both, I stepped down in the yard.
With my head down low, I slowly began to walk;
when they called out my name.. and said "we need to talk".
We see on your card, that this is your name,
and the letter we received, is signed with the same.
It's been paid in full, so here is your key,
and it seems for you, this house is free.
This also came and we guess it's for you;
it was a short note, in an envelope of blue.
It put a knot down deep in my throat, for just the few words that it had;
"This is now your old house..We love you, Mom and Dad".
.
Author notes
Written January 27th, 2006
by: driftwood
(wishful thinking)
A contest entry
- Anything Your Heart Desires by VampyricNyteMare.
500 points, ended August 7, 2006, 38 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter Your Best PW! by O.o.
700 points, ended December 25, 2007, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Walk Down Memory Lane by Judith Chandler.
525 points, ended January 4, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell me a Story by TabbyCat.
750 points, ended April 2, 2008, 44 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your old home by Hihamburger.
500 points, ended May 8, 2008, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 51 of 51
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Wow, wonderful story poem and the ending was fantastic,
Well done. thank you for your entry. -
Beautiful poem. It tells an amazing story. I also really like your creativity in not only the poem but also the title.
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Oh that was So awesome! I loved every bit of it. Congrats on wining the gold, you deserve it!
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I love this poem it is sad but so happy at the same time. Good luck in the contest.
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What an awesome ending!!! Just the type of thing I wanted. Love it.
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I enjoyed this, very passionate. Congratulations on both of your gold trophies. Thank you for entering the contest and good luck to you.
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oh dear me...
this is so very moving!
congrats on the gold! very worthy indeed...
such a heartwrenching journey you take your reader on...well done!
this delightful read deserves all the jewelry above and more...
EXCELLENT...endearing and enchanting tale...
Blessings! Tammy
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Nice setting which you established right away, the narrator driving around his old home town. Lots of detail, then it shifts into narrative mode.
Thanks for the surprise ending, very moving. Thanks for entering my contest. -
This is the best poem I've read so far. Great grammar, spelling, ands punctuation. Well done, and thanks for entering.
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This is beautifully done and such a heart tugger!
I had just read 75 entries before finding this wonderful poem and couldn't go past it for gold. Your narrative rhyme is very well done and the nostalgic story so moving. Thank you! (Made me wonder if it were based on a real event - one would like to think/hope so anyway).
Just a suggestion, to avoid repetition of "guess" in stanza 8. i.e.
and we guess for you, this house is free.
This also came and we guess it's for you;
to something like,
'and it seems for you, this house is free'
(or, the second line changed to, 'This also came and must be for you')
Gennelle
Edited on Aug 07, 11:58 p.m. because ''. -
I like the comment "Brought a tear to a smile" - takes a lot to touch me that way (get out of the gutter, you're blocking my light . . .)
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This is truly beautiful and i loved it. Story poetry is my absolute favorite. And especially pieces where emotion is worked up thru the piece, ending with a lump in your throat, yours had that and I very uch appreciated the read. great work! Keep your pen forever flowing! Bunny
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this was so well done, I just loved the rhyming flow to this piece, thanks for sharing, and keep up the awesome poetry and stories
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another heart wrenching story. i love this. it's so sweet and so heartfelt. i absolutely love this. i think you're an amazing writer. thank you again for sharing some of your other pieces with me. i will be sure to check out more. again i just want to say how wonderful and beautiful this is, and amazing of a writer you are.
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wow thank you for entering my contest this is a beautiful poem
~mira~ -
A touch of old country flavour mixed with nostalgia and your story telling gift makes this a charmer!
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Aww! So sweet, love the rhyming!
Good luck!
<33 tink -
great piece
Nice peice of work, of course im not surprised.Wll written and good flow. Brought a tear to a smile. Great job. -
I love your poem, actually it's kind of freaky in the way of seeing of a poem about something I did almost 2 years ago. My husbands insurance company bought our old house, they let me look at the entire home and old memories came back. I like the way your words flow with the rhyming of it, keep writting.
Brandy3 -
I love your supernatural ones and ones from after death, wow, kick arse again !
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it was good, but not my favorite, not something i could write either...i feel special i was one of the firsts to read your DNA poem, i thought it was very creative and with the hairs with it that rocks, youll have to have a picture when you put it online.
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woah - great flow and rhyme this is so good xxx
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You made my eyes well up. Everything I have ver read from you is amazeing! You are such a talented writer.
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Driftwood, this is such a tender story and such excellent rhyme. I could just cry. It is so terribly sweet. You've done a great job here. It really is. Shancy.
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An absolute beauty of a poem! My eyes are filled with tears reading this. Haunting and wistful throughout, I could only wish for a blessing in the end...and there it is!
When I was 26, I returned to see my grandparents's place. It had long been sold, but the nostalgia was overwhelming as I stood there thinking how tiny that place was to have housed so many. I expected to see my grandmother come out onto the porch to read as she did so many hot summer afternoons. The people who bought the place did not change it on the outside, so it was a step back in time, just like the experience in your poem. Thank you so much for sharing this!
~ Karen ~ -
Well written,no forced rhymes,interasting so it held the readers attention effortlessly.A nostaligic,poignant write from your gifted imagination and your beautiful creativity.I love reading your work,it is always uplifting,wholesome with an almost spiritual feel.You write pearls that don`t come from the ocean bed but from within my ap friend,love and light,Yvette
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first of all you held a very smooth, realistic rhyme throughout this. i admire that
the story is touching...almost like a miracle you've done really well with this
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This is a beautiful pen. Telling of a story in rhyme......I loved the discription throughout the entire piece. And it brought a tear and a smile to my face. Nice job on this. I for one enjoyed it very much.........
Smiles
your way >>>>>>>>> Sandy San-d
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Your story ends the way everyone would hope that it would. I still see my growing house from time to time. The other sadder side was in a song by Dan Fogelberg, "Here is a house where I used to live as a child, they tore down the building when I moved away and left the key unreconciled." You made me think of home past. Good Luck in the contest. RC
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omg, this is so pretty! It has wonderful emotion and made me feel like I was with you, driving through the town. This is truly a wonderful poem!
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Oh you captured a sense of nostalgia for the things passed in your town, it was amazing, and I just loved the bittersweet ending, what a great write, congrats, Pennye
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very touching
this is one of the sweetest, most heartfelt and touching things i have ever read--in my entire life. awesome write. it makes me wonder, is it true? thank you for not only writing this but for sharing it with me. viyanna r langager
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A real tear jerker you have written here - liked the ending - takes one's breath away - love those kind. Easy to read and understand, good rhythm and rhyme.
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I happened to click on this one again so I will again applaud it. Great job. I have a new one up called special angels if you want to read it.
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nice write
nice twist at the end. but have to say kept thinking of songs in the start of it............ in particular the green, green, grass of home, which i cannot stand. but then maybe a good connection in relationship to your poem. whatever.... -
A{++++++++++++++
Again i am at a lost for words for you, Amazing. Everything is just so real, holds hope for people. Wow i am a softie, and i am glad to read things that arent depressing. Grat Job!!! -
This poem brought a frown to my face and sense of longing to my heart, then a very tearful smile at the end. Thank you for your entry.
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a sad feel all the way through this, it was nice to find at the end that there were smiles to be found. a ncie touch that, leading the reader on
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this is so beautiful i love how you describe everything and if you are trying to get me to cry you are doing really well
darkinocenceangel -
This poem was really touching.. It's one of my favorites
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This is so sweet and great.I love it.
Shahrzad -
Truly Amazing &Sad
i love it! and i no your probly getting tird of me saying this, but it is awesome! -
Again more chills. You are so good at this. You really need a book deal. I will buy the first one.
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wow thats sweet thanx for entereing, good luck
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I wish you'd stop making me cry....
It is very touching and again hits so close to home. I got my old house for christmas and because of this family fued I'll never see it again....They are leaving it in thier will to everyone in the bloodline, so everyone got a picture of it. With the old willow that refuses to die (It caught fire one summer and burned from the inside out, making it hollow inside and it is still alive) and the dock that has to be rebuilt every year with the swing that we built from the old stairs before we rebuilt the deck. Inside it has a wall of pictures from the ceiling to the floor of everyone in the family who is here and has passed on. All to be remembered on the family wall of fame. And I may never see it again....
I am sorry here I am rambling on again in tears...you are very good at pulling emotion from people. Thank you for sharing.
Always pen from the heart and you shall never write wrong!
~SongByrd ~
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Lovely! Once again a little childish, but the surprise ending is a trip! You seem to be getting to be an expert at that, huh? Check out one of mine called, "Lividity" please. Thanks! - oce
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The ending was so sweet! Hormones calmed down so we'll leave it at 4 boxes and call it even. Beautiful poem, I absolutely love your writing!
Tiffany -
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This poem is really sweet in such a sad way. A few differnt lines threw off the beat though. The third stanza was the one that really caught my eye. Mainly the second line in said stanza. Besides that fact, I really enjoyed this poem.
I love how in the end, everything just happened to work so perfectly.
I'm glad you suggested for me to read it; I enjoy your work
Love,
Squeaks
Edited on Feb 06, 11:17 because 'spelling error'. -
Thank you for your comment on "The 'Ol House", and your right, it does look like one large paragraph..so I made changes.
Thank you so much. -
This is a very sweet poem, even though it is sad. However, it was hard to follow along with it completely, because it just seems to be all one giant paragraph. If I can make a suggestion, I'd say you break it up into stanza. Other than that, thank you for entering and good luck.
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