My footsteps echo through the rain;
My shadow falls on the ground.
From the wind in the sunset I came,
When the lightflower once again was a bud.
Into the shadows I walk
As the whips of the mist curl ‘round.
Here death and deprivation can talk.
It is here that will be holy ground.
For the sunshine already has light,
And in morning the birds chirp and sing.
But perhaps if these shadows can fight,
We can turn these ashes to wings.
In the shadows of dark we will sleep;
Down in the dust we will lie.
Perhaps sparks can be lit in this deep;
And perhaps in this shadow we’ll die.
But this harsh whip of dark can be tainted.
We are ninjas of this dark desert height.
Somehow these dark shacks can be painted
With the pure dripping wine of the light.
Author notes
Again, double meaning here. I wrote this on the bus home from a convention, the rest of my group was having a party down the aisles with glowing bracelets, lol.
Written January 27th, 2006
A contest entry
- Twelve lines on or from this Mountain, by Lyndon.
1000 points, ended November 26, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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An addition
This poem has easy movement both within the stanzas and from stanza to stanza. There was nothing that jarred in the logicaL FLOW AND THE RHYMES OCCURRED NATURALLY AND UNFORCED. Do enter this into another Winklings' contest where the rule is not twelve lines.
Leave it here for people to read, at the moment, though. I am not a Grouch!!!
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Oh dear, poet
You have written twenty lines!
It is good that you entered but it is wise to read the prescribed conditions carefully.
Lyndon of the Winklings. -
some outstanding images here
ok you are a good writer this piec has many good elements including your talent, BUT:
For the sunshine already has light,[ sunrise perhaps]
But this harsh whip of dark can be tainted.[difficult]
My shadow falls on the ground.[difficult to place]
so overall this is very good..a little hard editing and it would be much better.
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I have no idea yet, what this is aout but after reading the firt two lines had to come in to see
Wow on the first read I see the words as penned and the images there portray vivid in my mind's eye. As I let these thoughts linger I am drawn into the metaphors and find another layer deeper than the first. This is well penned and I believe a poem that we all will find someething to tease the interest..... some may not like the free verse followed by rhyme I find it appealing in this post and no matter what we take away on the day it is one fine piece of poetry. Thank you for pleasure.
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Brilliant
I felt like I was seeing this through your eyes and it was an excellently written piece...
Thank you so much for sharing this piece with us...I know so many poeple will be able to relate...
Much Love.
Tessa -
Very well written
This is an interesting poem, I feel I am in your mind seeing things through your eyes, which is an excellant result and the showing of a very well penned piece. Thank you for entering and very good luck. -
that is wonderful. i love all the double meaningness and the metiphors and such. and the line "We are ninjas of this dark desert height" are great.
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