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Rainbow(Swap Quatrain)

After the rain pleasing my eye
Rainbow arclng high in the sky
Too short a time will it remain
Pleasing my eye after the rain

Colors galore red, yellow, blue
Truly a vibrant sparkling hue
Prompting me to wish for much more
Red, yellow, blue colors galore

In awe I stare watching it fade
Pleased by the beauty God has made
A sight unfortunately rare
Watching it fade in awe I stare

This gorgeous sight will not grow old
Just to see it is pot of gold
Ever mesmerizing delight
Will not grow old this gorgeous sight.


Author notes

All is far in love and war
Written January 24th, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    November 8, 2008

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    Great form, never saw the "swap" quatrain before, but I like it. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.

    ♥
    whisper

  • carole21
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    nice entry . . good use of rhyme . . liked "Prompting me to wish for much more" and "Pleased by the beauty God has made" . . good luck in the contest


  • Pisces rainbow gold member
    June 26, 2008

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    VERY COLORFUL AND LOVELY WRITE

    GREAT RHYME

    BEAUTIFUL

    THANK YOU FOR YOUR ENTRY

    PLEASE DON'T REPLY TO MY COMMENT

    TO KEEP THE CONTEST ANONYMOUS

    GOD BLESS...


  • storiesuntold gold member
    June 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Nice write

    I so enjoyed the read good luck in the contest


  • Logans-Mommy
    May 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is very nice, good imagery.


  • animated lies
    April 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Pretty decent rhyme and flow, a few grammar/spelling mistakes. Nice write & thanks for entering my contest.

  • more like war
    May 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Title - 3/5 pts
    Effectiveness - 4/5 pts
    Relation to Topic - 3/5 pts
    Creativity/Uniqueness - 10/10 pts
    Spelling/Grammar/Form,etc. - 10/10 pts
    Emotion/Empathy Provoke - 9/15 pts

    39/50


  • asymmetry
    January 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful atmosphere. I think this could be tighten up a bit though, but that's just me. You've done a good job.


  • bethan-gaze
    January 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Pure sunshine

    This is a lovely poem. I can really visualize the rainbow and I was particularly taken with the third stanza. You write really well and I wish you all the best in the competition.


  • Ted E Bare gold member
    January 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Extremely crafty as your words were well put together. Enjoyed the style that you used here. I want to thank you for taking the time to write and enter my Rainbows contest. I appreciate it greatly. Good luck to you.


    Ted E.

1 - 10 of 10