Forgotten - MP3 - http://homepage.ntlworld.com/danabouk/Forgotten%20-%20DanASBO.mp3
Life's a mess, everyday brings a struggle
Each and every day I'm trying to juggle
This mess into position for a snuggle
Trying to forget the days I had to smuggle
Looking back now, only eight years old
Still playing games, still doing what I'm told
Living on the streets with nobody to hold
Trying to keep warm, I'm hiding from the cold but
Hiding from the world I have my eyes close shut
A feeling in my gut has turned into a rut
A monotone state in the place I used to put
All the joys of this mess, I'm left sleeping in a park
Hearing remarks from strangers from light till dark
I'm stark empty just like a dog that lost his bark
There's a fire inside I've just lost my spark
From fresh to rotten
So easily forgotten....
I don't know how I should feel now
20 years old and taking my last bow
I don't know how people could allow
A child to go through this, I promise
I make it my first vow that when I reminisce
I'll look back over the abyss and not miss
The life, the mess, that I left
And although I may feel bereft
And grieve for the theft of my childhood
It's not to be misunderstood with the would
The could, the should have
Because even with sat nav
I couldn't halve the journey I've had
A young lad turned man with no dad
I'm glad that in a few years I'll grad
Educated by the same system that failed
I've prevailed after being derailed
Now I'm the portrayal of the bailed
Released by myself, I do me proud
I know I'm a silver lining in a cloud
Once lost in a crowd I removed the shroud
Pulled through and paid my dues
But I didn't choose to lose
Lost my family through abuse
Drink and drugs they chose to use
From fresh to rotten
We're so easily forgotten
I miss you Brother, your missus and my nieces
Most of all I miss you Mother, I love you all to pieces
I release this, with peace this is my final thought
I love you all
I've lost you all
From fresh to rotten
I know
I'm so easily forgotten
MP3 - http://homepage.ntlworld.com/danabouk/Forgotten%20-%20DanASBO.mp3
In a list
A contest entry
- Street Muzik by Freestyle Bushido.
500 points, ended July 21, 2008, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Do you like the MP3?
Comments
1 - 43 of 43
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Wow. I still don't really know how to respond to this. That was... that was a really good write. Sorry about the childhood. I guess we never forget where we came from and keep our sights on the future.
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Wow
Filled with emotion. You meant every word. A beautifully written poem Dan .
You've got a talent! Keep it up .
Hannah
x
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damn, i can't recall how many times i felt like this, thanks for entering and good luck.
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hearin the song while followin the lyrics, kinda breaks my heart in the end .. loved it! actually i love ur work in general nd ur voice jst put like a spice to it .. the whole feeling thingy..
try not to force ur rhymes tho ..
except that its perfect! truely!
me..
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me will bookmark this and will come back later to comment!!!
oh nd that would make me be able to applause twice lol ..
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i liked your style of writing. i really liked the end when you start apologzing to your family. it was heartfelt. almost made me teary eyed. bravo on your well written poem.
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wanna give you an applause!!!
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wow...
reading this broke my heart. I hope this isnt a true story...this is the most heart-wrenching peice ive ever read. i dont know what to say other than how perfect and flawless this was. It moved me to tears, the life this character struggled through, but the strength he had and his courage made me appreciate life a little bit more. he is a hero, a man of honor and i look up to him with great respect...please tell me you didn't go through this...
Love,
Passionate Singe -
fascinating song! I liked it
'everyday brings a struggle' -> everyday is a struggle?
'silver lining' -> kinda cliche, but it works.
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good
you expressed yourself really good in this poem.. and it kept my attention makeing me to contiune on reading it... -
I dont even know what to say to this. The pain was so evident that it was hurting me to read. I hope as time goes by you will change how you feel about things..that you will be embraced by people who love and care about you. Thanks for sharing.
Soulful Woman -
i like it very mystereous i give you 5stars but thats cool maybe we should be friends
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I am so sorry this happenned to you. You have been through so much in life. I am deeply touched by your poem's gritty details. There is so much that we take for granted in life. I feel selfish. You make my tough times in the past look like nothing. You have struggled so much and have succeeded. Thanks for sharing this with me. My prayers are with you.I wish I had applause to give.
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You wrote a gut-wrenching piece. This poem makes the reader feel your pain. I am so sorry this happenned to you. You have been through so much. This poem strikes a chord deep in my heart. We should stop and thank God for the things we take for granted. I am so honored that you shared this with me. You have a gift. My best wishes to you. I wish I had more applause to give.
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great piece
this is a great piece of poeter...i ebjoyed reading it very much! i look forward to reading more of your work!!! -
unique and potent
Aw this is beautiful hun! It was touching and familiar! So many of us can relate to it! It sparks some thing deep inside of me and now there are tears in my eyes as I reread this and you've captured the whole system of fears so well! Thanks for sharing hun! -
This is a great piece!! I like it alot!! and your amazing I do have to say! people who go through struggle ( like you and i) have amazing tools to teach other people and make awesome writing! You are truly an insipriation and I love your work!
Rosita -
ok
hey read your page and good work hope you read my pages your pictures are weird. -
Nah, tis just a random news clip that suited the song
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Very well written, and explains your situation even further. I listened to the track of the song, which was also well done. The end of the song haunted me though and sent a shiver down my spine. Was the news article about your family?
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I dont know what to say... this was sooooo touching. I found the mp3 link at the top of the page. Ive been really worried about my 13 year old son lately hes smoking canabis and making lots of wrong choises but he is loved and supported. This poem puts things into perspective. You are a talanted man with a big heart
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Wow,, This is fantastic...........You brought so much to surface in this pen.......I did like the ending and about mid way I thought maybe it was going to have a very drastic turn in it...I have worked with abused children and my hearts always went out to them I wrote a poem about it is Titled: "My Eyes"
This is beautiful.........Sad but beautiful
Smiles
your way >>>>>>>>>>> Sandy 
San-d
Edited on Feb 13, 8:39 because ''. -
well done
I found a piece of myself in this piece that I never ever want brought to light. -
Daniel - I am back again, listening to the remix. Jings, laddie, this is brilliant! There is - what? - thirty years or so between us, but I love this! What a unique voice and poetic "voice"! I wonder if I could ask you to check my own "Burn Out", and forgive a female fan old enough to be your mum. allpoetry.com/Poem/1814757
Mb -
A well written poem about the nameless fear we all suffer from - the thought that we will be too easily forgotten. Nice write
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I keep saying this about contemporary rhyming poetry - when I read it over in my mind, with the thump of that very positive rhyme scheme, what I hear is rap music. Rap has made it possible for contemporary poets to seize and use any sound or word for a rhyme. This has to be the first time I have seen the words "sat nav" in a poem!
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very good
Nice poem.Good flow and deep emotions.
I got nice imagery as
"A child to go through this, I promise
I make it my first vow that when I reminisce
I'll look back over the abyss and not miss
The life, the mess, that I left
And although I may feel bereft
And grieve for the theft of my childhood
" in your poem. -
fucking brillant
that song is class I have just down loaded it your from nott I see I'm from hull mate that song is class -
that's soooo touching! it's sad and very deep, full of emotion, don't give up! wonderful job!!!!!!
Hend -
that's soooo touching! it's sad and very deep, full of emotion, don't give up! wonderful job!!!!!!
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You do realise there is a link to the MP3 at the top?
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WOW THIS WAS AMAZING....! It sounds like great lyrics for a song, good flow and powerful
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Wow, this poem speaks a million words. Though a little sad, I love the triumphent ending. You overcame all odds against you. My favorite line in the poem was From fresh to rotten
So easily forgotten.... what a unique way to express your point. -
Daniel, this piece was excellent, and I think it's a lot of peoples fear, being forgotten, you portrayed this so well, the line 'Im 20 now etc' really rang out because it was almost like a prayer of some kind like you were standing there thinking 'what the hell am i doing here?' or something - really enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing it with us
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On a serious note, you have no idea how closely I can relate to this piece. just being tired of all the pain and wanting to give in. I definently feel that. As for the piece itself, I'm kind of partial to center alignment but you made the left work pretty well, so props on that. It flowed really well as most of your work does and I give it 9 deadmans out of 10.
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Ahhhh Dan ;]] That was amazing!!! Absolutly beautiful! It's too good for words. Really. Keep up your AWESOME work. Cause I love ya ;] Whee!
Tori
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Hey. No this is not pure junk. Does it sound like pure junk? Just by reading it, it seems very positive so how will it fall into junk? Nice poem. Keep up the work
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Stunning
I could not but read this aloud. Each word I read aloud had me stunned into abyss... Speechless and memory of each phrase ran through my head again while I replayed it all once more I couldnt help but wonder how one could be so amazing at writing! This is a masterpeice that no one has yet built and all upon the words and the life of many people now adays. I may not be able to totally relate but in a way just by reading what was written by you I feel like I do know at some point how it is. This is amazing so keep it up and dont give up!
Love always and forever,
Brandy -
Great write. They say it should not hurt to be a child. I wanna know why it does, don't you?
I don't know you but I feel I do.
Keep on penning. -
awesome
wow Daniel what a truly touching piece. I am very very impressed. I can realte to a crap childhood but much props to you for coming out on top.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
You're not easily forgotten . . . at least . . . your work isn't. You are good at expressing yourself eloquently and giving the reader a reason to keep reading.
Your rhyme and rhythm are flawless. Way to go! -
Your Honor, we pleade nolo contendere
Yours is a very eloquent elegy, I think that's what I would call it at first glance. Very well done, methinks.
Sooo... ah needs anotha cupa coffee before my brain cells warm up. And if'n yous applauds me comment, ah'll expand on it, this i thee promise. -
5 Stars *****
Hey dan dan buddy please forgive me for being late to comment on this write, I am really sorry, I hope you will forgive me, please sorry
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the poem grows stronger as one goes on reading it, it hit my heart with a great emotional impact. I like the rhyming in this poem , not just cos I am a fan of rhyming poem and rhymes but then your rhyming didnt seem forced and it made the poem go smooth. Your MP3, i dont know whats wrong, I am still not able to hear anything (yes my speakers are on
).
Last few lines were really marvellous dan dan, worth an applaud
nice write.. good work.. thanks for making me read this write..
take cares and have a nice time my dear friend... just keep it up...... your humble little friend....
.... 
..... .... - vic ( who else? )
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