The throwing star, also known as the "shuriken", is a weapon developed by the legendary "Ninja" warriors in China sometime around 600 A.D. It usually has four points, but often more. The first throwing stars were actually sharpened hairpins, kept in the hair as a last resort weapon. A vast variety of designs have been created since the days of the Ninja.
In ancient times, throwing stars had many applications:
1. Some were covered with poison to accomplish a quick kill. A common poison in the Ninja's time was simple rust, which meant certain death before the invention of tetanus shots.
2. Throwing stars were sometimes thrown with the intention of reflecting the sunlight into the eyes of the opponent, momentarily blinding him and opening the way to an attack.
3. Some throwing stars had blunted edges so that they would bounce off the enemy to make him think he was struck by an invisible swordsman. (i.e., freak him out.)
4. Before they were weapons, throwing stars were even used to pull out nails by carpenters who could not afford to buy tools.
The throwing star could only cause death if thrown with great force and accuracy, and only if it struck the throat or a specific area of the face. However, it was an excellent weapon for its time.
The Ninja were masters of deception. Throwing stars were easily concealed in a small pouch and produced quickly when needed. However, it took many years of dedicated practice to become a master of the throwing star.
So to the question at hand . . .
Considering the fact that there have been innumerable improvements in weaponry since 600 A.D., most notably the gun, of what practical use is the throwing star in our modern world?
To illustrate my point, here are a few news stories you'll probably never see . . .
1.
Reporter:
"I'm standing with Irving P. Schmelnick, the victim of an attempted robbery today at an ATM machine. Sir, could you please tell me what happened?
Robbery Victim:
Well, I was standin' at the ATM when this guy comes up behind me, puts a gun in my back, and tells me to take out all my money and hand it over. Fortunately, I had my throwing stars on me at the time. I stuck two in his forehead before he even knew what hit him."
2.
A man in a Ninja suit walked into the First National Bank today with a handful of those pesky Ninja throwing stars and loudly demanded all the petty cash they had on hand. Assuming it to be some sort of a prank, the bank manager laughed, at which point the "ninja" stuck his tie to the wall with one of the stars. The bank manager fainted, hanging by his tie from said star. A teller then screamed, causing widespread panic. The customers began to run from the building. This infuriated the Ninja, who had demanded them to lie on the floor, so he began to throw the stars with great rapidity and accuracy at the fleeing customers. One man was almost out the door when he got hit in the rear end with one. He described the feeling as "getting smacked with the business end of a bullwhip". Paramedics later removed the star from the man's posterior. The suspect made off with thousands of dollars. Police are dusting the throwing stars for fingerprints but do not expect to find anything since the suspect was wearing Ninja gloves, too.
3.
A police officer is literally thanking his "lucky stars" for saving his life today. Officer Roger P. Schnifflefeiffer was pursuing a robbery suspect through an alley when both cars crashed and were disabled. The suspect exited the vehicle and hid behind a trash can, opening fire on the officer with an Uzi sub-machine gun. The officer returned fire but his standard police issue .38 Special was no match for the Uzi and he quickly ran out of bullets. Hearing the repeated clicks of the officer's revolver, the suspect realized he had the advantage. He stood up and ran toward the officer, firing repeatedly. But little did he know that he was not dealing with any ordinary officer. Oh, no! For Officer Schnifflefeiffer is a trained Ninja. He quickly produced a bag of throwing stars and threw them rapidly at the advancing suspect. The stars blocked all of his bullets, causing them to ricochet safely away. Other stars reflected the sunlight, momentarily blinding the suspect, which made him crash into trash cans in the alley and fall down. It didn't take the suspect long to realize that his Uzi was powerless against the throwing stars. He dropped his weapon and turned himself in.
SIDENOTE: If you decide to become a Ninja, always make sure you look down your nose at people with a very serious expression when wearing your Ninja mask. Smiling ninja's don't scare anybody.
Adding your comment:
I'm not sure which I liked best, Mark...Your interestingly depicted history lesson, your 'dumb criminals' stories or the comments 'tween you & Don, then Ben~jammin's comment...
Very cool penning, my Friend...& I wanna be in the old folks' home to see it happenin' firsthand...
~val~
7 old applause
