Confession is for Catholics
Sentimental Irishmen
Passion inflamed Latins
We are Knox Presbyterians
Half tamed highlanders
Rushing into opposing battle lines
like Atlantic breakers
into the unyielding
crags of the
Hebrides
Better to die
ten thousand deaths
than to blink an eye
Better to die
ten thousand deaths
than to give up
your deepest
darkest
secret
Author notes
Written January 22nd, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- A Poetry Contest V by -BlackKnight-.
400 points, ended January 28, 2006, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Came across this one of yours in your AN for Cricketers Round 3. Having some Scots diaspora ancestry myself, I can appreciate the sentiments expressed. An excellently written short free verse poem. Not a wasted word. Line lengths perfectly matched to the meaning. It mightn't fit the so-called "confessional" genre, but so what?! Genre is an academic, not a poetic, concept. Your poem's title is just right for its contents.
I like the simile of the Atlantic breakers and the Hebridean crags.
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This was one of my first poems on AP...my daughter was expaining the site to me and encouraged me to write for this contest since it was put up by one of her favorite poets here. I told her that this isn't my kind of subject but she coaxed my participation anyway!
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Pretty damned good writing. Don't know what a Knox Presbyterian is but I'm sure you like apple pie too. Very thought provoking and something to think about. well done.
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Excellent
This is so perfectly penned.
You know something, people go through this kind of thing, every single day.
Maybe it IS "better to die, than to give up your deepest, darkest secret."
Well done.
Keep up with the great work.
Keep on penning.
Thank you so very much for sharing your wonderful talent with all of us here.
Truly appreciated on my end.
*S* Cynthia -
thanks jc for your encouragement
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oh so very talented, i think i'm adding you to my favorites. which makes it unfortunate that you have writer's block, but what can you do?! been there, still kinda there, it's irritating. well done here.
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Indeed, it can be quite an emotional release to write about something as personal as some of the entries onerios and I received in this contest were.
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blackknite,thank you for taking the time to look at my poem and offer your thoughts.your pointers on punctuation are well made...ive writen three or four little poems in this last week and when they were done i had doubts about capitals and periods,etc for each.i knew,as you say,this doesnt sound like a confessional poem...when jane suggested i offer something for this contest my reply was«i was brought up with the notion that if you have problems you keep them to yourself«.i thought about it and,i guess,the confession is that id rather die than show my feelings...but it could not be confessed more explicitly than in very veiled words. I enjoyed the other entries, it seems like a good excercise for the emotions for a lot of people.
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This doesn't particularly strike me as being of a "confessional" style in poetry. Typically, "confessional" poetry is defined by intense, personal experiences with an overwhelming range of emotions, ranging anywhere from anger to rage to bleakness. I can understand, though, if you mistakenly thought I was asking for "confessional" poetry along the lines of a Catholic confession. Jane said you used to read Sylvia Plath's "Daddy" to her when she was younger--that'd be a pretty good place to get a good idea of what "confessional" poetry is really like. I suppose onerios and I could have and thus should have made it clearer. Keep in mind, none of this affects the poem as a whole.
Now, all that aside, this is very well put together. It's clear from reading this and the two other poems you have posted here that nature is a big part of what you enjoy, and you worked that element into this poem quite well, mixing religious beliefs ("We are Knox Presbyterians/Half tamed highlanders") with the world around you, as well as how they relate:
"Rushing into opposing battle lines
like Atlantic breakers
into the unyielding
crags of the
Hebrides"
I feel, perhaps, this poem could use a dash or two of punctuation; I tend to use punctuation regularly in my poetry, though I'm not going to suggest that here. Rather, in places were a pause is used ("Confession is for Catholics/Sentimental Irishmen/Passion inflamed Latins"), a simple dash, semi-colon or period can be added to the end of the line. The only reason I'm suggesting adding any punctuation there is because each line begins with a capital letter, suggesting, perhaps, that each line begins as a new sentence. This is entirely up to you, though; I like to nitpick stuff.
"Better to die
ten thousand deaths
than to blink an eye" -- This is quite powerful and very succinct, which aids is strength. Indeed, sometimes we feel it's easier to die or suffer again and again rather than to show emotion for our fellow man.
"Better to die
ten thousand deaths
than to give up
your deepest
darkest
secret" -- This reflects the real world quite well, I believe. Sadly, it seems many would rather not relive dark experiences of their past, choosing, instead, to simply carry them to their collective graves. For me, it brings to mind the saying of, "Those who forget history are condemned to repeat it." When secrets are carried to the grave, others are left not knowing what those secrets were, which sometimes leads to events occurring that, once again, bring up those experiences once more.
Of course, it wouldn't surprise me if this comment/critique/whatever you want to call it strikes you as simply being a bunch of gibberish, nor would it surprise me if I was way off in my interpretation of this. Still, it's been a pleasure to read this and attempt to get a feel for it; I thank you for entering my contest with an entry such as this. -
of course, you are absolutely correct-
and i agree with your further comments also
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I think he meant the whole Latin bunch Mary Cat.
Spaniards, French, Italians, Romanians, etc. If he were to say Latino, people would think he refers to Spaniards and Latin Americans only. Since Confession is written in english, I'd leave it the way it is. I can't stand mixing languages in poetry.
This is what divides the oblique, immature scribbles of the young writers from the wisdom of the spiritual athlete.
Those words could only come from the sagacity of an aged, passionate person. I feel an urge to plagiarize.
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I really like this- very well done
Would latinos work better than latins?
Your second stanza is gold.
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OoooOooOO I liked this, this was very interesting, I'm studying the reformation in history class too, so this actually made a bit of sense, great poem, very interesting read
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Enjoyed the form you used here and the sentiments you have expressed in these short lines - interesting how you have contrasted the Catholics, Irishmen and Latins to the Presbyterians -
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NICE!!
Thsi si really good i enjoyed this its a great read keep writing youll be in lots of books some day -
i really like this one. it does sound like me. although you know way more about relgion than me. now i know were i get it from, thank you for that gift
i'm happy you joined. where are you anyways? the house is too quiet right now.....
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this one was awesome. i liked it way better than 'avatar'.. .and actually, here i could see the resemblance between you and vaseline. lol i know, it sounds nuts. it's ok. i am nuts. but i liked this. liked the tone. reminds me very much of her :-)
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