I lay down
In a stream
Submerge my face
I do not scream
I lift my anchor
I raise the sail
Bubbles dance
As I exhale
So here I go
I'm on my way
I'll ride the current
I'll drown today
The water's motion
Will carry me
From stream to river
To uncharted sea
My ship will sink
Beneath the waves
Sending me to
An early grave
Author notes
I lay down
In a stream
Written January 22nd, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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i like it... it's really sad though... great write though... still got that talent, that's for sure!!
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I really like the idea of this, though I would suggest changing the title so it doesn't sound like this piece is humorous when it isn't. But anyway, I love the metaphor you used. I never thought of such things like that before and it's always refreshing to look at life from another point of view. Lately, I like using ice for some reason. You took an entirely diferent approach and used a ship and the ocean. I like it.
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I love it.
Your my inspiration Trevor,
in a way you do remind me of conor.
Keep it up.
Promise. -
awesome
hey trevor. whats going on? great peom. my friend sarah read it and she thought it was awesome. yoiu are so talented. sorry i haven't read any of your stuff lately, i've been busy. i'll talk to you later.
kristen -
You are sadddend in this poem and I say to you a bow..... You really have created a great write here.Hope everyone who reads this sees how good you are..
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This is kind of cool. It's like an attempt at a quick and painless death, sort of weird to think about but kinda cool all at the same time. I like the idea, and you did a good job portraying the death. Cool, keep writing! Oh and the title made me giggle...lol!
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This is kind of cool. It's like an attempt at a quick and painless death, sort of weird to think about but kinda cool all at the same time. I like the idea, and you did a good job portraying the death. Cool, keep writing!
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