Brandishing the sword,
the gender of vertical blinds
slice through
webs we have spun
each crawling night
that we fight
to the rhythm
of survival of the fittest.
You are hung.
I am hung.
Slung low on the welfare belt,
division, division,
yes we are the numbers
with which they play
in this roulette
of dependency.
The spiders spin faster
with swords that will draw - black widows.
Author notes
Written January 22nd, 2006
A contest entry
- The Poetry Hack by Nicole Hanna.
400 points, ended January 30, 2006, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This is an awesome poem! I really liked this!
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Very interesting and meaningful...I bet you could refine this and make it more complete...You have the talent to make this great and you've a knack for the poetically political...I miss you lots
~bethany
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A game of chance,
Dear Stella.How well you attacked the mess and the despair of all who have to depend on the Welfare System which seems to be a total mess and very degrading to those forced to use it.We have a slighly different system in England and here in the MiddleEast there is no welfare at all just hand outs for the poorest of the poor.Your style is very unique and you say so much with few words.And yes it is all agame of chance and the highest cards are held by the wealthy and the dice rolls with no thought of where it will land.Bet Georgy and Tony are quite comfortable in their little Worlds.
Excellent but sad and angry write.Elizabeth. -
Thankyou very much I have a lot going on at the moment so have not been writing much, but hope to when I become more settled.
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Stella shall please keep on writing! I am a huge fan of the poetry I've read from you on this site. Magnifique!!!!
~Zola~ -
Baby...You are fabulous!! This is so cool. Why don't you write for reading in a magazine. You are so awesome!! This could even be a song or something!!
Oh Boy!!! I really like the feminist slant to it too!
IM ME! -
I love the idea of the vertical blinds. Brilliant. Your words unite me and make me feel like everything is okay even if they are something not as together as we should all pretend to be. I am never together. I feel ... I feel so much from this piece. The way in which your words just speak to me. Thank you. Tony.
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You are hung... now that's a line that stick with me tonight for all kinds of nefarious reasons. lol. But seriously, I enjoyed this. Random, but still appearing thought-out and poetic. Hard combination to achieve.
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Thankyou I came up with the first few lines in the shower these were meant to be written quickly so I wrote this in a couple of minutes but made a few changes to the end lines. Thanks for your comments.
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marvelous write, I always enjoy reading your work and stand in awe of the talent that seems to flow so effortlessly from your fingertips...this piece is an accurate depiction of teh "welfare mess"
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eee ouch.
this is very interesting.
Great use of symbolism. i read it twice to get the full meaning of it. what i like best is that it could be applied to many things depending on different experiences.
"slice through
webs we have spun
each crawling night
that we fight
to the rhythm
of survival of the fittest." -that was very well articulated
"yes we are the numbers
with which they play"-makes me think... (very nice)
keep it up
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