White and blinding
Vast
Frozen
Mountains
of snow
Beyond the reach
of the eye
Water's winter avatar
defying me on all sides.
Author notes
This was a contest poem on the subject of water.
Written January 22nd, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
-
Superb Plus
'tis a very fine write, indeed. I enjoyed your descriptive skills. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
-
wonderful little poem that describes a very cold place indeed. Now i had to go and put a jumper on, and that is total madness when it is so warm here, lol!!!!. Love your write. Gonna read through your works and see how you have grown since you started here.
-
*brrr...*
I thought I'd return the favor & dig through your closet, too. lolA shivery poem...
-
-
"through your closet"...you found the shoe boxes with my old sneaker!
-
-
-
-
Excellent
WOW!!!!!!!
Although this may be a short piece of poetry.
It is so well penned.
Well done.
Keep up with the great work.
Keep on penning.
Thank you so very much for sharing.
*S* Cynthia
-
Humble begining...yet not so humble! hehe like my mom's betty crocker cake
hehe.. I like to start off by reading first poems to see the evolution of the writer, seriously when you take the time, you somewhat get to grasp their evolution, tis quite rejoicing, anyways best of luck!
Emilie -
laughing, not long.
-
I'd like to say I'm glad everyone is okay. And I'm glad the fire,s out...but afterall, how long can Origami burn?
-
fire brigade just knocked on then checking everyone was ok all is good now fire's out but it looks a bit mad in the corridor and the guy whose flat it was burning, he is ok drama in the wee hours here lol
-
I'm gonna check out tomorow what kind of poem comes of you tonight!
-
lots of water flowing here at the moment! there is a fire in the block of flats i live in. on my floor too
very noisy. anyway, yes here is a good piece
-
I love brevity in poetry, especially when it embraces so much. Your words are lucid. I also like that fact that you used frozen water in the form of snow to write about. Simple, and beautiful. The best to you in this challenge.
Renee
-
I love the economy of word here- the explanation to tote was worth the price of admission. It humbles me to hear another poet explain his reasoning for certain words or images. Very nicely done. The craft is dead on here.
M -
I'm glad this is nothing like Jane...not that Jane's bad, no she's the best just that...I don't know it's comforting to know you can have the same genes and very different talent. Wow, I have no clue what I'm getting at.
Lovely first poem here I suppose, yeah that's what I meant to say. -
For some reason, I simply adore the word "avatar" in poetry. I say everyone should use it daily! At any rate, this was a breathtaking poem, in its simplicity and vivid imagery. I'm always a fan of short pieces, because they tend to capture the essence of a story with as few of the unnecessary fillers as possible. You've a good example of that here. Lovely.
-
specter
Your vignette is more complex than it appears. Specially for those of us with a limited vocabulary. I often snowboard and it never crosses my mind that I'm boarding on frozen water. Good luck in the contest.
-
OoOOoOO I liked this too, I liked the short lines, and how they mean so much, great great great job!
-
this is interesting. not sure what 'avatar' means, but i'm going to go look it up and get informed. i liked the pretty format...
-
Alan, an avatar is defined as a manifestation or an incarnation of a hindu deity. I like the word here because phonetically it's almost a shadow of the word water. I also like the notion of snow as a mystical incarnation of water because even though we're often surrounded by both; I can never really get in my head that snow and water are the same thing. Thanks for your comment.
-
Great imagery. It's funny that you titled this poem Avatar. I also have one with the same title, although not posted here. I'm still a bit confused about the meaning of the word.
I live in SLC Ut. Along the skyline, so it's always bright white around here. Good work!
Alan -
Thank you Mary, as I said, water is a very broad but fascinating subject. I'm looking forward to looking at how the other entries treated it.
-DogFish -
How horrible- you made your baby wait for Chinese- That seems a bit cruel and unusual. AT least you didn't make me wait for this amazingly well done poem.
Glad to see you here.
Mary -
Thank you Zayra, Jane really appreciates your poetry too, she says I have to check it out. Thank you for your positive comments, I'm happy to know this is a place where not only one can find and share interesting poetry, but also get helpful comments.
-
I am a fan of vast open spaces, especially if it involves frozen water and snow! Great first poem!
-
Nice aspect of water to write from. This is short but really really nice to read.
-
The ambiguity of the poem allows the reader to interpretit the way they feel, or how it relates to them.
"White and blinding
Vast
Frozen
Mountains
of snow" This gives a beautiful image; yet...presents a tough world where one lives, different factors and events that make life harder.
"Water's winter avatar
defying me on all sides." -I like the ending. It sums up the poem, again, alowing for selfinterpretation. What i get from this...on how it relates to me...certain factors, maybe people or events make life a difficult (somehow challenging us, so there is no easy way out but to fight for what you want)
Well, that's hw i see it at least.
great write. keep it up. nice use of symbolism
-
Very weird, but unique. I didn't really understand your point that you were trying to express, but it brought back a memory of mine one winter where my area got two feet of snow- and this was on vacation.
Nice, but bad to have that memory.
Shade
-
I told you I liked it, I think its the first time I ever read a poem by you, except for that one on my wall, the little girls riding their bike Now go get the chinese, I'm hungry
Adding your comment:
E
Hey, I grew up between two brothers. You'll have to do better than that. 
Wanda
1 - 29 of 29
