Gospel of St. Bob part IV (The tension builds)

Big J's Brithday

And lo it was the morning of the twenty fith day of december
And eleven of the disciples were sat about
And Jesus was there also
And some hookers left over from the night before
And the Lord awoke saying 'Right dudes, what did thou lot buyest me for my birthday?'
And Peter gave the lord a fine bong made of carved Egyptian glass
And Paul gave the Lord a lighter, one of those that doesnt blow out in the wind
And Eduardo gave the Lord a kilo of finest Morroccan hashish
And the other remaining disciples gave the Lord a George Foreman Grill
And the Lord looked upon the George Foreman Grill and smiled
And Jesus did bless the Grill and said 'This Grill shall now be known as the "HOLY GRILL" and many years from now learned men will seek this Grill and many quests shall be quested and some clown will write a book about it being something other than what it is and many other clowns will buy that book and believe it'
And the disciples did piss their pants with laughter
And the lord lit up the bong filled with some of the Morroccan hashish
And Jesus said 'May my daddy bless and keep thee all for bestowing these most excellent gifts upon me'
And Judas did enter
And Judas did say 'Have I missed anything?'
And the disciples did beat the crap out of him
And Jesus, not being one to hold a grudge, healed Judas
And Judas said 'I have bought thee a present O' Lord'
And Jesus said 'Hand it over then'
And Judas did give to the Lord and wollen knitted jersey with a snowflake pattern upon it
And Jesus did beat the crap out of Judas
And Jesus spoke thus 'You retard, its one hundred degrees in the shade, why the fuck would I want a thick wooly jersey?'
And Judas did what he did best and most...... sulk.