The Elements
Modeled after brick and stone,
the cinderblocks and dolomites
that long have kept our ancient homes
half hidden from the crush of night,
a simple notion binds itself to form
in varied shapes of molded polymers
that—scattered out like remnants of a ruin—
tease the mind with possibilities.
Quarried from the realm of thought,
hewn from enigmatic veins,
abundant with the priceless ore
of nascent creativity,
each hollow cube is made to interlock
with all the many others of its kind,
magic puzzle pieces crafted such
that they will build whatever comes to mind.
Of Invention
Imagination rises up
to form a towered ring of walls,
ramparts crowned with parapets
that guard a nest of dens and halls.
Or simple village structures manifest
from deep within the wells of memory,
little homes around a market place,
a chapel standing quaintly in the midst.
Bridges arch above the spread
of nonexistent waterways;
modern superstructures scrape
against conceptions of the sky.
Even ships from other worlds emerge
to travel all throughout the universe,
forever redesigned in the docks
of varied moon or planetary bases.
At Play
Individual colors snap
together in a bold array,
absorbed into a growing sense
of cognizance and clarity.
Nimble fingers probe and rearrange
impressionist expressions of the mind,
each sculpture an accomplished masterpiece
comprised of cubist rectangles and squares.
Walls and rooftops recombine
as various disasters strike;
rigs develop stronger frames,
evolving after every wreck.
Experimental joists and joints explore
the art of bearing loads and distribution,
each new creation more elaborate,
expanding with the will to learn and grow.
Author notes
to learn more about the trisect: allpoetry.com/Column/1780251/all=1
Written January 20th, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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Erin
Not having been familiar with your work, or for that matter your self designed form I did a little reading before even touching this.
This is clearly an intelligent, well thought out piece you have engineered(LOL). You have good control of your grammar and language. Surface problems do not exist that I can find. So then as the average reader I set out to decipher the message and make sense of the string of words. I find quatrain stanzas to have the greatest power for conveying the message of the writer, and especially when they don't enjamb.
I find this to be an interesting delving into this topic(title based), but find a few conflicting ideas. As best I know, Architects are idea and presentation tradespeople, not how to/ingenuity people. Historically speaking I believe that was what the masons and engineers were for.
Lastly, I found making some of your language work in the poem took alot of use of the dictionary and thesaurus, but only in some places, in others, it seemed very common and ordinary, this alone would give the reader a difficult time trying to make their own ideas about the tricect you'd hoped they would make.
Jim
. Rewarded 4
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i would love to have added one more star, but i'd like to have had you point out particular lines and phrases in relation to your thoughts for that. for instance, when you say "i found making some of your language work int he poem took a lot of use of the dictionary ...", you didn't tell me where in the poem you were having this experience. likewise for the "common and ordinary" language. so next time you comment, if you could add just that little bit of information, i'll likely put five stars on the comment.
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You have a large fan base!!
This fascinates me. I once dated an engineer who was always drawing things napkins and in cookie crumbs. It seemed so complicated, but he finally made me understand basic form is all it is... worked then, works now.
This is an excellent poem set... I thoroughly enjoyed it again. You have an excellent voice.
hugs Wolfie
. Rewarded 4
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That was definatly great! I am big on creativity and art, etc. I really did enjoy that! My teacher has begged me to take architecture, over and over. However
I dont have enough interest, then again I wont try it. I do what I love the most, but I have an appreciation for all art; and that poem warmed thy thine heart, Thank you truly for your gifts as well. When we look at the artist Davinci, we look in astonishment.............however we forgtet the time he spent disciplining himself to be that great. He drew the human body and studied anatomy for years! Over and over he drew it! Til it was absolutly perfection. Well...........................Your work has paid off thy dear. I appreciate your poem, it was a delight!
. Rewarded 4
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amazing
I really love this "work", please forgive me for not remembering you...i do love your poetry. you are talented -
Interesting piece and I do enjoy the lego blocks. I haven't read your poetry in awhile and I do miss your opinons...I shall have to stop in more often
Rosita -
Once upon a time,
I was a lego block master.
*sigh* -
i love the creativity behind this especially how you broke the poem up into different sections just so the reader could in a way anticipate the next level. images convey a lot but you took a step further
Rae -
A very creative piece. Or should I say CREATION..
I will never look at legos in the same way again. Maybe my grandson will become a great Architect one day. You had great rhyme in this and chose some very powerful unusal words. Your meter was superb all the way to the end. Great job on this!! I truly enjoyed!!!
Smiles your way >>>>>sandy 
San-d
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It was a good poem, but far too many "big words"... heh... Maybe it's just me.
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good read
I guess I was never much for legos, but your poem made me see why so many people do and the thought process behind them and so much more -
Outstanding really! Great idea and an excelent idea! Very creative and new!
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Ha ha! You featured it! Good idea.
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I am in awe! Fantastic write! You have crafted some wonderful imagery and with your words have created a very thought provoking peice! Brilliant!
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GREAT
although i can not stand the technicality used in engineering and architecture (my dad was an engineer) i must say that you did a great job on this. put everything into a new light for me. 'built the bridge' (so to speak) between my feeble mind and this great art. thank you. viyanna langager -
excellent
An outstanding poem...style, structure, imagery and flow all rolled up in one to make for a delightful read...unique content that probes the beginnings of perhaps architectural genius to come...very creative...Janice -
I really like this poem...its catchy and creatively written which is admirable. I like the imagery and also the word choice. I like how this poem is divided and seems to be a few poems combined. Excellent work. Respects to the pen,
Love Jordan -
My grandson can play with these pieces for hours, taking them apart and making something new - is this where architects begin? Nice legos side bar - well written poem.
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Enjoyed it
I liked the whole thing, but I especially enjoyed the At Play part. I love that you picked an unusual topic to write about and really made it work. There's so much poetry about "You done me wrong! Boo Hoo!" but not so much about exploring building (with...legos?). And yet it totally works and is very enjoyable to read. That takes talent. -
This is a great piece.The evolution of buildings and human thoughts as well as the evolution of the words in your poem are all beautifully written.
Shahrzad -
very good
Nice touch of feelings.
I liked your poem.
I got nice imagery as
"magic puzzle pieces crafted such
that they will build whatever comes to mind.
" in your poem. -
wow
great work,A real touching peace its a wort of art.
I love it you should write a book or something you have the talent.
I'd read one if you wrote it.
I hope to read more of your work.
It's verry well thought out. -
Wow...this is quite an exquisite poem. I really like it, the way you use your words to form sentences, quite amazing...I wish I could write this well!
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Wow!!!! I am really speechless.... this was a GREAT poem and... well.... I can't think of anything else to say. This blew me away!!
Amazing job and thank you for sharing!!
~Callie~ -
Wonderful
I really like the idea
This is a great poem, I love how visual it was.. actually mentioning the types of stone and colors used, it adds to the visual.. well, mental picture
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Hello Erin,
If I didn't know better, I would have guessed this poem a collaboration of Emerson/Whitman and F L Wright!
I would be honored to be a single brick in this poem!
I like a poem that makes me sit up straight but not lose me in an overly pedantic narrative.
Thanks
Regards to Jenna......................John -
Hey Erin, I only read that first part of your poem, to tell you the truth, i don't know what your talking about, I ca only imagine some house on a meadow or something like that... I'll read the rest later, but sometimes things you don't understand are more beautiful when You don't understand them....
P.S I got computers this term so i will be able to say hi to you, drop a line everyday! luckily the district allows allpoetry on the computer, I'm pretty pooped rght now because we're learning how to type!
L'Houx -
thou seest deeply.
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From grass huts to skyscrapers, an evolution of the mind. Well thought out and designed. Evidently architects don't just deal with solid material. This is quite a "word-building," in itself.
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the job of the trisect is to depict without naming... and man was that hard with these particular objects and events. the final part, which attempts to depict a process, turned out to be so abstract that it eventually seemed impossible to manage it. for the time being, i think i've done the best my abilities permit. i'm hoping that in a few years i'll be able to do a much better job of depicting high abstractions such as what part three attempted to depict. time and practice... time and practice.
i think i agree with all of your observations, though i don't know how to improve upon any of those lines as of yet.
enjoyed your thoughts. love honest thoughtful feedback.
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Fourth stanza of The Elements, "magic puzzle pieces crafted such" stood out as distinct (i.e., out of place) from the rest of the lines - its value I dare not judge (smile)
I liked the progression of each stanza in Of Invention, though the last five lines - the last line of the third stanza and the fourth stanza in its entirety - seemed more aligned with the character of the 15th line in the poem ("magic puzzle pieces crafted such")than with the rest.
The last line within At Play also seems a bit awkward in a more intuitive than obvious sense. Overall I enjoyed the structure and discipline of the piece. Not your most spectacular but still irrefutably yours (smile) -
i liked those first four lines the best, too (though they'd need to be bound to something either way before being able to stand alone). wish i could have managed to write the entire poem to their caliber, but it proved impossible for me... bah. i tried and i tried and i tried and i rewrote stanza after stanza after stanza hoping for something that would feel natural and yet say what i wanted it to say. it just proved to be beyond my capabilities...
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The first 4 lines are a complete poem in themselves and IMHO are the best part of this piece.
The rest of the poem is good and well crafted but it appears to be crafted. These 4 lines just exist as a complete entity that belongs together.
For those I thank you. -
Genious
No wonder this took you so long. You were building a dreamland of imagination and visions of a genious. You are an Architect to be appreciated. Kay / Maverick13 has also taken a fancy to your work it seems. -
I love the way you have taken the intricate art of architecture and made it so beautiful, yet recognizable, to the reader, there is such an abundance of wonderful imagery combined with building metaphors! The last stanza, I could picture a child with lego; tongue out in concentration; and the childlike wonder of their haphazard colorful creations!
I loved the whole feel of this, expertly crafted once again.
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that was great todance suggested you she was right you are good your writing style is that of the old poets but the modrenization still glimers through. maverick13
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