My son, so fragile and newly born,
But still remover of any embedded thorn
My son, so small and yet so strong
created from love never wrong
My son, created from the love of us
two souls wounded by life thus
My son, smiling at all in life
not knowing existence is eternal strife
My son, healer of all in the past
making me believe love can last
My son, a being of a new start
creates heartbeat in a soldiers heart
My son, profound expression of God's plan
making me remember i was not always a man
My son, longed for all these years
and finally dad found his tears
Author notes
Written January 22nd, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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This is rather cute, loving, and just plain good. These days men arn't always around for their kids or just never there. But to know that there are men out there who are there for their kids such as your self. I just give that much more respect for you and others who do the same for their kids. Thanks so much for sharing and I bet your son is proud to call you as his father.
Tori
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awww thats so sweet, ^_^ im glad theres men in the world that actually care for for there kids, mine on the other hand does not >.< depressing but yeah how old is your son?
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It is amazing what a child can do to us, i am very glad i read this poem,i feel you have reached and achieved the most wonderfull of them all, and that is to be a parent! congratulations! Give Konstantine a hug! and say hello to you lady! Very well done! take care! Monchi
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I loved this poem so very heartfelt and well expressed
Having a baby that the both of you created - you must look at him and say to your wife..you and i made this little guy
A very wondrous realization - bravo on this! Loved it!
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beautiful.
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Your poem is a lovely expression of love for your son, but has some parts that need fixing. English is not as easy as it may seem
(I did offer these in IM, as you asked me to look at it, but perhaps you missed the message)
S1; L2 has too many syllables, throws the meter.
L4 makes no sense with the word "throng" used to force the rhyme. Needs to be something like, 'created from love, never wrong'.
S2 needs different wording in the first 2 lines, to find different end rhymes as using 'thus' is out of place (i.e. forced rhyme).
S4 lines that begin with "My son", need a comma after 'son'
(need a possessive apostrophe on God's)
Those are some things you can work on
Lovely sentiments, though, and very relatable.
~Gen
Edited on Jan 23, 6:04 because 'clarification'. -
Thank you all for the comments:-) i apreciate it alot :-)
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What a wonderful poem, d-amour! I can see how much you love your son. I love my son just as much, and now as he's a little older, he can tell me he love me aswell. Look forward to that day... Thank you for sharing your poem about your son. Jim
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This poem really expresses the great love and attachment of a parent for a child. I hope you copy this and put it in his baby book. He will always treasure it. I wrote a couple small poems for my daughters when they were little and they still have copies. Very nice to find this here. Thank you for inviting me to your page.
Mary -
I think you did a beautiful job on this write. I have three boys, My youngest is only 19 months old, yes what a pleasure they are. Your words in this poem are perfect my friend. Great rhymne and flow as well. Thank you for sharing with me, GETS
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Thank you so much for the comment its highly apreciated:-)
i hope you get to share the experience one day its worth it belive me! -
Great
I've never had a kid before and this just makes me want one! Haha but I don't think I'd go through with that. You really did a good job showing what children can do to the people that bear them, usually it's for the better until later, if you know what I mean. Keep it up. -
How old is your son? Is he old enough to understand your outpourings? You must thank God if he doesn't.
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