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Edward

You sit and wait as days go by
The world now evaporates
From the blink of an eye

You're waiting for someone
To just say hello
But when they try to approach you,
You tell them to go

You tell them you're fine
You like it alone
While your soul fills with sorrow
And your heart slowly moans

For you want a companion
But you consistently think
That you've failed the world
While the world let you sink

So you're gasping for air
Fighting for breath
While the world sucks you down
To the darkest of depths

For the world can be cruel
As you probably know
It determines your fate,
And how far you will go

For right now you're stagnant
Stuck in your place
Yielding no pity
From an onlooker's face

You want them to see you
But not for too long
For if they notice you
Than the world must be wrong

And if the world is now wrong
Than what can be true?
The person that brought you
so far down is
you.

Author notes


Written January 20th, 2006

A contest entry

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Comments


  • pianoman13
    January 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Quite interesting, the beat it just makes it strange. That doesn't seem like something that you a positive uplifting person would write but everybody is affected by low emotions. I'm glad you joined AP that makes another CC cross country guy!! Welcome and talk to you in school.


  • The Tower
    January 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Salt, salt, salt (shakes head). I'm going to have to really work to keep myself better that you. If a convret corous was added, this woud make a great song. You've also managed to construct an intricately rhyming puem without detractig from the meaning at all, well done. The one criticizm (and it's a small one) is that the meter in this piece is too engrossing. I found myself beeing lulled by the continual rythm. May I suggest again a chorous, but this time to break said meter.


  • -foreverandever
    January 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    oh wow. wow! i like all your poetry, but this the most. it's so deep! and also i like the rhyming, i am a big fan of rhyme. and yours doesn't sound forced so that is good. xXx