You say you'll never leave
But you're always on the go.
Heart ripped from my chest.
Last one flying from the nest.
Lost, I feel alone
Wandering in the danger zone.
No answers to the whys.
No one's mama sits and cries.
She's gone.
Will she ever come back to me?
The tears flow.
Will they ever stop?
Author notes
My youngest child is graduating from high school this year and I'm trying to sort out all the feelings. This poem doesn't seem quite finished. Any constructive help would be appreciated.
Written November 13th, 2005
I need help with this. I made a few changes since I first posted it. All comments are appreciated and returned. Thank you!
Comments
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Tears Streaming!!!
I love you momma I never meant to hurt you or leave you I just gotta be allowed to grow up some time and soon i hope Anyway BEAUTIFUL write Keep up the awesome work -
I like what is here..but I feel it should be longer to explain more of what, "No one's mama sits and cries," really means...to you, for the reader to grasp better...thats about it...easy task...thanks for sharing
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lmao now see, i didna realize i had comented previously and still thought the same thing hehe forgive my old fogey brain hehe
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WEll this one hit home , although i have another year till my last one leaves, hios leaving will mean so more to me than the other, long story, but he has been the joy and helpmeet of my life for so long. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors.
Hetohke'e * 
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man i would love to help, and this is a great poem, but teh feelings forin,and i dont know what in the hell your talking about...please message me and explain, i would love to know what this kool poem means. thanks man.
live in the moment.
Josh Rain -
Ah my friend, I too can relate, as my youngest is next year and then off to the service, YIKES. he has been such a blessing to me, that his parting will be hard. If you would like to see my piece on this subject, let me know, Ill link ya ( not a promotion, simply offering a sharing of common ground) It is called For Matthew, i think, hehe i wrote two for him and forget which is which, but not the acrostic one is the one i wish to share with you.
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Well I may be able to relate as I'm graduating from high school this year. I love how you wrote it you cover alot yet your right it doesn't quit seem finished. Maybe come back to it later
NoL -
I think you should put more detail in it, it jsut sorta ends and leaves the reader wondering "what is wrong with this person exactly?" once I read the author notes I read the poem again and then sort of understood it, but I wanted more details, more emotion... I was left hanging wondering the whole story and not a piece of it...
think about it
InKy
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I'm also a parent, and I think the happiest, yet saddest day of our lives is seeing our babies graduate, although mine are only 2 and 7months old, I cant wait for that day, to see how far theyve come in life, but I also dread it, coz that would mean they've left the nest, and thats saddening in itself.
I think any parent that reads this would feel your pain, and your mixed emotions about it, I know I would!
Thank you for giving me something to think about, and for giving me the opportunity to read your work!
Luv coop xxoo
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Firstly you still are a mother...I'm still in high school but i can assure you that no matter what we will always have something to bugg our parents with. :-D this does however need a bit more to it...i just felt sort of let down that you didn't go futher with your feelings than you did already. it sorta leaves you hanging. you do start out wonderfully though with great emotion. your rhyme and rhythm flow is off to a great start as well. great!
~Sorrow~
PS thanks for your comment on my poem Hour Glass Runs -
This is a really good poem, because it's short but it's still like really, really strong. The rhyming is good too. I definitely like this poem a lot!
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Good Job
This is such a well written poem,short but straight to the point,and shows true feeling..I like it a lot..well done! -
Where have you been? I've been gone awhile too and need inspiration. Hope to see some new stuf soon.
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I just wanted to say...I'm back. And I missed everyone dearly..
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wow this was a beautiful sad piece. Short but to to the point you paint some picture with yours words great job.
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very sad. simple but has meaning and emotion. good job with this.
blu -
great
this feels very in the moment and now. The pain is obvious and felt by the reader. It is definately a time of renewel and of letting go. I think that we really begin to question what skils we may have taught our children during this time. Believe in yourself and believe in your children. They are an extension of you but do not belong to you. your role as a parent isn't ending only shifting. Embrace this new role and allow your child to understand thiers as well. This can be an exciting time for both of you. don't grieve for what is lost but celebrate what has been gained. You've worked long and hard for this day. It is inevitable no matter what so give it what it deserves! you'r awesome. god bless you. best of wishes to you. happy new year. peace to you always in all ways. -
very nice
I think this a wonderful start. I would keep the first three stanza's in place, then write about the emptiness you have already or fear may come. But remember, they arent leaving you forever, just to spread their wings a bit, mom will always be the one they need most. -
I know exactly how you feel. You did good on this. Let me know when you do add more to it. Maybe how you finally decide to deal with it.
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Hmm, maybe you should descibe your child's childhood from your point of view, what were the best times (or the worst). Just a suggestion, I wouldn't know the feelings, I'm not a mother. I like what you've started. Keep it up and I hope this helps.
-Lillian
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