once pretty in pink not a care in the world
now dressed in black with depression in the mists
once merry and bright
now sad and full of fright
once in love and on cloud nine
now no trust in denial
never more alone and in need of a friend
never more feeling so insecure
dressed to the nines trying hard to survive
when deep down in side fighting to stay alive
Author notes
this is me
Written January 18th, 2006
A contest entry
- Partners In Crime Members Only by Partners In Crime.
725 points, ended November 13, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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this one is so personal, so deep and oh so sad! I sure hope you do not feel the same way today!
Best of luck!
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wow, I do hope today, almost 3 years later it's all better now with you....
I think life throws some and take some...and it's all in lifes game....
XXJeannette
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wonderful
best of luck
TAsha
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Great
This is a great piece considering how short it is. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Countrybabe
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A short poem but say's so much, something that most of us can relate with.
Great write
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Once upon a time... what a perfect title for this piece. If only we could bring back those times, relive the moments in our lives which brought us happiness, comfort.
You've written a poignant poem, my dear, one which touches the heart and brings feelings of compassion and wanting all of the heartbreaking things go away.
Goos luck in the contest
Dee
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Your poem says so much about the heartache and turmoil of living through such sad circumstances.
I wish every couple could have the happiness and trust that my hubby and I have shared throughout our 50+ years of marriage.
You've said a lot in this poem, well written, sad, but with the strength of survival
Good luck in the contest.
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love'er...she's great!!
(shaking my head)...sweetheart...god knows, after watching my daughter before i lost her, enter her teens, and just make that exact same transition you've described very well here, i know exactly what u mean. it broke my heart. but, some bullshit has been poured into you, and now you have to...well..we all had to, when "the adult mind started to come to life - along with the body...") so...i'll say to you what i said to my daughter...i love you. (now...i know that sounds strange...but, if u read my short story, you'll understand why i said that - allpoetry.com/Story/1773017 . i don't want to say the usual parental, adult bs, lecture, pep talk crap. even though i lost her...i know, cause she always told me so...that the way i loved her was different...the way i talked to her...helped...and it wasn't a peptalk/lecture.
i have alot more to say...cause, if i can do ANYTHING to help save, nurture, bring along someone...young especially...my eyes cry for that. just read my story....and...i'm here for you.
atb, dl4u (btw...nicely laid out too. well done)
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perfectly great
This is so much like the way I see my life, this is something I can really relate to. This piece is beatifully writen and well structured.
I love the lines:
once in love and on cloud nine
now no trust in denial
they just speak to me. Great Write!
Edited on Jan 23, 7:29 because ''. -
we all find ourselves in the midst of darkness here and there, such is the way of the world - hopefully though, we find the smiles hidden in the curls of the next moments
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thank you
Thank you so much for your kind words they are much appreciated -
very well done
this is a wonderful poem. I think we all go through this stage but some of us can never leave it others start this way and turn into the bubbley thing we all hate lol. we don't hate the bubbleys -
VERY VERY BEAUTIFUL I CAN SO RELATE TO HOW YOU FEEL KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!! LOVE IT
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I really like this poem....it's expressing...
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Very deep poem that you have here. I like it. Personally I don't know what some of this feels like, but I know that I am not on cloud nine. LOL. Well, I guess I liked it. Its really good and I like deep poems. Keep it up.
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thank you for your comments they mean a lot your poems are great
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thanks for your comments they mean a lot to me and are much appreciated u r a great poet love your work
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This is amazingly similar to the way I feel sometimes so i can definitely relate. You always have to remember to never give up hope. Though things can always get worse, they can also get alot better also! Everyone has a purpose and everyone has love; somewhere. Keep your head up and keep writing I enjoyed it.
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This is deep...i love the way you wrote it, and the words you wrote it with..keep up the good work
xoxo<3 jessi
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