Clickety, clack...
clickety..
clickety..
clack
night, after fricking night.
Clickety, clack...
clickety, clickety, clack
clickety, fricking clack
tell me...
clickety, clickety, clack, clack
who has replaced me?
Two years
no longer new
conversation_____barely existent
interest in me...gone
sex?...what's that?
nightly fights begun
ignored, for chat, MIRC
chicks, 'so many interested'
me, no longer needed
Little whores
tell you what you want to hear
gets you going, you're studly now
it's a game, wise up
they play, not caring
who gets hurt?
Me, my son.
'Don't like it?', 'there's the door'
oi, so easy
for him to say
he thinks he's all that
erases calls, in and out
partitions his computer
password protected!
Mind your own business
you're holding me back
oh, that's right
computer chicks
they've done you right
in the past, both cheated
lied, pregnant by another.
Here I sit
heart breaking, chest
constricted, tears so clear
dotting the pages
Betrayed, for the Internet
sit staring at that
stupid over used pc
clickety, clacking
all damn night
god, I think I need to.....
hate you, leave you, kick your ass,
something......I don't deserve this.
Nerves are shot
mind is racing, thoughts so
scrambled, body shaking
pain, quite breathtaking
can't trust you
I caught you, considered
sending her flowers,
roses, never any for me
you cyber kissed her
'at least I can have that.'
She flaunted, all the others
teased, 'see what you're missing'
made you jealous
you were going to leave
me.....for her? HA!
you chatted a week
a whole fricking week
still a little girl
barely legal to drink
a kid of her own
she must of done you well
you good for nothing creep
Our fight, the other night
you called mommy, pretended
leaving to spend the night
hours later, 5:30am to be exact
you walk in, never went to moms
claim you drove to the lake, alone
yea right! I'm blonde, not stupid
Little girlie who calls you here, and at work
she lives in that town, I know
trucks suddenly clean
pop tray pushed in
ashtray moved.....uh huh
days later, you're kissing my ass
out to dinner, the Outback
replacing my cell phone
tickets to Nascar, in June
yea you banged her.
I think I hate you
I want it ended
No More, I tell you
*Sigh*
Why can't I let go
there's the door______
and here I sit....
not walking through
What's wrong with me?
Author notes
Yes, I know, not the best thing ever written, one of those "just needed to express it" kinda things...not looking for critique.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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holy cow..
you write so vividly and sadly..and this piece has some anger, too. I loved the "clickity-clack".
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Such emotions put into this piece, your talent shines in this sad situation. You and this are A+ in my book... you truly are.
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Wow! What a great piece of work. It feels dredged from your guts, and actually I feel sick reading it - like a kick in the nuts.
Incredibly open and direct. I tip my hat to you.
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Excellent
This was very good, Tell me 'bout it! Sounds very familiar to me. LOL, The Pregnant part, The fluanting of her men, the plans to meet, YOU MUST HAVE A SPY CAMERA on all the men(fools) out here late night.
"BOO"
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The enternet games
Age on here knows no bounds . sad but the games shall go on
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What is he thinking????
It's a real shame that he doesn't cherish what he has, someone who fell in love with him, as well as a child. You deserve someone who will put you and your son first in his life. It's a shame he treats you this way. You and your son deserve so much more.
Don
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This sounds like a very depressing place to be in. No one deserves to be treated like that. I see that this was written a long time ago, I hope things have gotten a lot better for you since then.
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Every body wants to be important to somebody until they learn to be important to themselves. People mistake attention for love, when it is only attention. Attention makes us important, our imagination makes us into fools.
I could say alot and alot of it doesn't need to be said. You caught your emotions perfectly and his behavior absolutely. Everything else I would tell you, doesn't feel like I have permission to say. A little to close to the bone. You strike me as the kind of person who gets made at herself for not being stronger, when you are stronger than most, for not doing more when more is too high a cost.
Be well,
Love, Tom B.
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this was wriitten almost a year ago, I hope your life has improved..you were in tough situation
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Heartfelt
and understood. -
I have been through the same kind of relationship that you're going through now. I know that it hurts and I know that you must love him since your not walking out that door. Follow your heart. Do what you think is best. TRue if you walk out that door it will hurt. But it will make him see you're not putting up with it anymore, that your tired of it and your not his rag doll. I hope everything works out for the better. Wish there was something I could say to make you feel better but there's not.
Casey -
Internet love, sex, relationships, whatever... in my opinion, there is a lot of illusion to them. He DOES feel like a stud because there is no reality involved, but he fools himself into thinking there is. If he's treating you like that, he's a creep. Kick his butt out! You deserve better. I think you said it perfectly right here:
Little whores
tell you what you want to hear
gets you going, you're studly now
it's a game, wise up
they play, not caring
who gets hurt?
Me, my son.
Good luck to you, I know its so easy to say, not so easy to do.
Sarah -
So sad ..The problems though were already there the internet only a symptom .Hope what ever you decided you will be happy
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whoa--this is intense. an affair does not have to be physical either. it starts way before then as you so very well stated in here. the betrayal started way before the actual event. great job.
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this is really really sad. i hope you felt some release in getting your emotions out by writing. most people would just continue bottling them in so you are at least one step of the way closer! <<33
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As if men haven't been low enough as it is cheating on a girl for somebody they met randomly at a bar or a prostitute they fucked in Las Vegas. The guy who did that to you honestly needs to realize what the fuck he's missing, he's giving you up for a dumb bitch with a kid he met on the internet. I had the misfortune of meeting two people off the internet. One was very kind and in her last pictures drop dead gorgeous, find out when I meet her that those were of her in high school and she's close to 300 pounds. Second one I met actually was hot as fuck, she did put out but I realized why somebody that gorgeous would look for somebody on the internet...she was controlling as fuck and flipped out for no reason whatsoever. Okay regardless I'll quit yacking about that, point is that idiot's going to get what's coming to him. You deserve way better than him and believe me you should walk out that door and never come back to him, if he breaks your heart this bad one time he'll do it again and again. I am a guy as well, and believe me unless that girl is naked, sitting in his lap and rubbing against him and he knew her in person beforehand he has no excuse to do this. You shouldn't be asking anymore how much you mean to him, you should be asking how much he really means to you. Would somebody who really loves you have to lie and cheat and ignore you? Not even have sex with you but go out of town just to sleep with some girl on the net? You need to leave him, find somebody who will treat you with the respect you deserve
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You write about an issue that many have been through. If your man cannot get off the stupid computer long enough to pay you some attention, then you need to ask yourself how much you really mean to him. There's a book called "He's Just Not That Into Me" I highly suggest it. Things we often explain away are pointed out, and at the risk of sounding cold, cause I'm really not..it doesn't sound like he's that into you. Best of luck to you, you have my sympathy and best wishes.
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Amazing, as i man i can see where youre coming from,....awesome....awesome...awesome
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Wow! Very deep...great write...Sorry it happened to you. Good luck ib whatever choice you make.....Heather
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good
man this is sad. i know how you feel though. i have gone through the same thing. trust me you dont need him. he'll get sucked into his own hole eventually and realize how crappy it is to be addicted to the internet. it is a good write though, i liked it a lot
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