Give time to let my thoughts ferment
get drunk on that sweet wine of enlightenment
Author notes
Written January 17th, 2006
A contest entry
- Give Me A Two-Liner by PrettyRagDoll.
600 points, ended May 19, 2007, 73 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I think this is a beautiful poem, though personally I would stick some more white space between the lines. Then again, I am a blankness freak. Anyway, I liked the ferment and wine part, how you wove the metaphor throughout your poem- even though it is a two-line poem, it is impressive! The rhyme you used doesn't distract from the poem as most rhyme does...nice job!
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i know how you feel about not wanting to really add more or anything afriad that you'll ruin it that happens to me all the time! and i just dont wanna ruin it! anyway it is beautiful as it is.
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I just don't want to ruin it with any bullshit. I may add onto it later if I think of anything that would go well with it.
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Very different.Is it not finished or something?Two lines doesn't seem like enough.It's off to a good start although ^.^;
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