Shadows of pain
tears of shame
walking in fear
so no one will hear.
Smiling in lies
covering my eyes
sitting in tranquility
hoping I won't go insane from anxiety.
Sleeping in gloom
for filling my doom
breathing in suspense
feeling the room start to dense.
Stuck in the past
ending life fast
Standing in diversity
searching for similarity.
Lost in time without end
hoping my heart will so mend
in a world of fear and agony
destroying the once precious melody.
Author notes
contest catagorie: Suicide
Writing a poem during exams...how bad am I? (lol) I was bored, what can i say? Hope you like it Oh and the Melody is life.
Written January 17th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- 203;::A.n.o.r.e.x.i.c...S.u.i.c.i.d.a.l...D.r.u.g...A.d.d.i.c.t:: by Bullet To The Head.
300 points, ended October 25, 2006, 85 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My First Contest by fallenangel671.
800 points, ended May 6, 2007, 94 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING! by Beating.
1300 points, ended September 13, 2007, 103 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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"in a world of fear and agony
destroying the once precious melody."
I really like this part. So cool that you took life and turned it into a melody. Loved it! -
excellent poem, glad you entered it in my contest,
it suited the contest beautifully
good luck in the contest dear
keep writing
~Ashley~<3 -
great rhyming, although the second stanza-last line, the flow seems a little off.
lol and you writing this during exams, im judging this in school right now (haha
)
you must really hate the exam your taking
thank you for entering my contest and sharing a piece of you with me!
take care and good luck
♥ Lynn -
OH I like it! its ppretty! very ryhmy. but yeah GREAT WORK!keep it up.
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zanaliocious
wow nice write spitz-a-lot... It was good for a quick little write during exams. LoL have fun on those lol. Talk to ya later LYLAS
~Hemp-e-lot -
'Standing in diversity searching for similarity'...Happy Martin Luther King Day? Nice line there. I do catch a glimpse of exam blues and anxiety there... well written poem. -Pome
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Emotional
I could really feel the emotion from which this was written. It flowed with good rhyme and meter. I have to admit that feeling the emotion makes it a success for me. Rhyme and meter are a bonus. That's just my view of course. Great job!!! -
Not studying for exams because you are feeling so down? Glad you are writing it out. Very good expression of emotion.
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you have great talent, it flowed really well and the wording was brilliant. i really enjoyed reading this. keep up the good work
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Good rhythm and rhyme, easy to read and understand. What not studying any more for exams? Ah, the shame of it. Good luck. Always glad when they were over and we started something new.
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Hmmm yeah seems an Ok poem, nothing that really gives it an edge over other angst poems but nice try. And Scotlass if you had a braincell you would look at the category of the poem and see that it is personal instead of writing a pointless comment. Just my opinion of course.
Tyler -
A simply truly beautiful write up as I sail in the same boat and then the storm cometh and adjusting your sails is not that easy against a strong gale..and then the environ starts to dull and you find yourself headed nowhere nor is land in sight...take care..cheers Shubs
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I enjoyed this, the rhyming was good and flows nicely....well done!!
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Oh how sad. I can feel the pain with which this was written. I truly hope this is not from personal experience. Touching piece.
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