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Sing A Song Of Sickness

Sing a song of sickness
a pocket full of yuck
Four and twenty weird thoughts
hidden in a schmuck
When the schmuck was questioned
his mind then came unglued
Quacking like a magpie
and being kinda rude
I sent him in for therapy
hoping for to find
Any sense of reason
on how he lost his mind
It was soon discovered
it wasn't lost at all
Before a tragic accident
his psyche took a fall
One day as he lay standing
his logic blew a seal
Slipping on a fruity frock
a tossed banana peel
His mind is now unbalanced
... confabulating garble
Banging off its corridors
one lonesome little marble

Author notes


Written January 17th, 2006

A contest entry

What did you think

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Comments

1 - 88 of 88

  • Sensual Sapphire
    July 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    This is proof

    not in the puddng or the pie but in THIS! The humor is dead on like the blackbirds (wiat they lived huh?) I read this aloud and my 12 year old just giggled. Well done a pure gut buster.


    • galfalfa gold member
      July 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      So glad you and your 12 year old enjoyed this, loved your comment and appreciate the applause,

      galfalfa

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    February 9, 2007

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    gal,oh my,worthy gold,this is 22 carrot!!! Original thoughts which are not a sin (oh my,there are too few of these!!) with the ingrain of grain of truism inlaid between the marble of the man-witty-lyrically in tune to the other tune-and perhaps I need to stop being so analytical but it was even provoking thought within beyond the smiles-like a full bodied wine instead of a body that whines-you clever gal!!!


  • WelshDragon
    December 31, 2006

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    Hahahahaha

    Yep, I remember reading this. Can't think why I didn't comment ? It flows perfectly. Its your typical wacky humour. Just Great. well written. No wonder it wins gold.


  • Deliverance
    December 23, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    Nice to see the muses get drunk once in a while. Does this come so easy for you? It seemed effortless is what I am trying to say. You are a natural and a comic genius.
    The line about blowing a seal reminded me of an Eskimo joke I heard once... Needless to say, the Eskimo made some excuse about frost on his moustache!
    Another great write from the AP queen of comedy.

    • galfalfa gold member
      December 23, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      thank you for checking this out and for your generous praise, glad you enjoyed this LOL at blowing a seal, friggin eskimos , guess they got bored with rubbing noses - i seen it coming

      galfalfa


  • DarkenedAuras
    December 22, 2006
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    Still love it


    • galfalfa gold member
      December 22, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      thank you again, so glad you enjoyed this,

      Merry Ho Ho and Happy Holidaze,

      galfalfa


  • Frodofan silver member
    December 20, 2006

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    lol. I like this. In this one line I thought the flow might better if you added an "a" though. "Slipping on fruity frock."

    This is so original and a real pleasure to read!

    • galfalfa gold member
      December 20, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Hiya,

      It did have an a..dont know what happened to it I'll put it back and hope it doesnt run off again,

      thanks for letting me know and for the comment and applause, really appreciate you checking this out,

      galfalfa


  • DK akaLunaticSerene gold member
    October 16, 2006
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    How utterly wonderful! Perfect in each and every word! Well done!
    dk

  • galfalfa gold member
    October 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL..is that what its called "waking up" I've got a packet of gaskets to send you then, if you're blowing one every day Oh and i'll send you a tube of silicone just to make sure there are no leaks
    thanks for the applause and comment - loved it!

    galfalfa


  • individuality gold member
    October 15, 2006
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    my mind blows a casket every single day without fail - it is called waking up spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...

  • galfalfa gold member
    September 29, 2006
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    Gee i never noticed that..f*ck! I should've have found another word that rhymed with yuck but couldnt think of any.
    Thank you for pointing that out though..i'm such a dumb cluck ..just my kind of luck to get stuck on a friggin word like yuck
    thanks for your comment,

    galfalfa
    Edited on Sep 29, 3:10 because 'used , found ..i'm tired'.


  • majix
    September 29, 2006
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    Oi!

    Schmuck is such a good word, but I noticed you only rhymed with yuck... I'm sure there are more... hmmmm, let's see.... ayuck... nope... buck... okay good... cuck... so close, but no... duck... fine word but you've already written a poem about that... euck... nope... I guess that's all
    Edited on Sep 29, 3:03 because ''.


  • September 18, 2006
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    i really enjoyed this my friend

    bravo

    jt


  • DarkenedAuras
    September 17, 2006
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    HAHAHA...Oh man...I love this more then the nursery rhyme

  • Whiteoutwipeout
    September 15, 2006
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    This was amazing, I love your work it constantly leaves me laughing


  • Darianna
    August 10, 2006
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    You are silly...hee hee...HUGS, Dari xxx


  • XPinKxRoSEsX
    August 8, 2006
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    wow! this was well written the flow brought a smile to my face,great write keep it up

    Becca


  • Autumn Whisper
    August 2, 2006
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    Great poem galfalfa, very good, nice little take off of the original song there, well done.
    best wishes as always
    xElectricEyezx


  • Felix BlackHeart
    July 10, 2006
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    that is an amazing poem. I love it. good job.
    -K-

  • halfjapheartattack
    June 13, 2006
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    hilarious

    I LOVE this one! I started laughing our loud which is kind of embarassing. My dad just rolled his eyes at me.
    But ANYWAY. I like your poetry. It has a fun feel to it, just like the nursery rhyme, but much better in my opinion. :-)

    Oh, and btw, thanks so much for the commment on my work. I really appreciated the feedback. :-)

    Thanks again!


  • galfalfa gold member
    June 7, 2006
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    Shucks thank you.. Glad you liked it!

    gal ♥


  • captain splat
    June 7, 2006
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    Mind-blowingly good

    I thought I'd stop by and read another of yours, I am gobsmacked, a truly wonderful piece based on another old nursery favourite of mine. An excellent job and the flow was superb (As he bows down in respect and tilts hat!). I'll be singing this one for a couple of days..

    (claps hands and falls of chair!)


  • sweethelper
    June 3, 2006
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    woooooooow awwwwww does that rhyme ? but this poem does ! awesome rhyming and grreat poem ! thank you so much for this great entry and best wishes in the contest !

    yours
    TW


  • Thundercat
    June 1, 2006
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    I have no clue where you get this from. Your marble must be very large ( ) Just kidding. I really liked this one. It flowed well, and the rhyme, ohhh, the rhyme, it never ceases to amaze me. I loved your use of paradox to further confound the reader:

    One day as he lay standing
    his logic blew a seal

    How can you lay standing? Good job once again.

    Thundercat

  • Phrozen
    May 10, 2006
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    confabulating... I will have to look that one up...
    Is there an audio version of this? from some of the other comments, that's what I gathered... where can I find it?

    Phrozen


  • Lyndon gold member
    May 7, 2006
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    "One lonesome little marble
    short of a bagfull of glass
    Makes a guy fearful of loonies
    and this kind of pass farce!    "

    From Lyndon

    who is badly in need of a speech writer for his one-liners.


  • leo2
    April 28, 2006
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    Apparently something is wrong with Putfile.com. I clicked on the link to listen but the audio never started. It just sat there like the proverbial bump on a log. Anyways, this poem was delightful to read as I'm sure it is to listen to. Wonderfully wicked message blended in polished rhyme and meter.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long

  • galfalfa gold member
    April 27, 2006
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    Oh shucks...go on I mean it ...go on , and? Funny you should mention squirrels - i was just now looking at the squirrel path that's smack dab in the middle of the lawn ..from the tree to the patio
    Thanks for your kind words cyber - most appreciated


  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    April 27, 2006
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    OK you have just been crowned King of the NUTS no wonder you have squirrel problem they are trying to kidnap you wonderful your rhyme and humour and that operatic voice you should be in musical comedy or on the stage (the next one out


  • J Rhys Davies
    April 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I loved the rolling of the “R’s” in this one. You cracked me up with just that by itself. Too funny how you were emulating Freud. You always have a great way of putting an extra special smile on my face.

    ~ John


  • leander Moderators member
    April 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I really like the tonation you gave while reading it and your voice sounds so pure? my voice farts once in a while but know what? I'm going to find me a poem I've written and will try again


  • d a f f o d i l
    April 25, 2006
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    mooooooooooo

    hahahaha! awwww your voice at the beginning is so girly! I loved this! I love it when people just wanna have fun and dont care if they seem silly...this was great!

    Fern


  • April 7, 2006
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    lmao. youre so silly you know that? we have that same sense of jabberwhocky rhyme and rap. and always end on that one note that leaves em' laughing.

    after writin' that one of mine i think i lost my one marble. rhyming and rapping turns my italian head to spaghetti.


  • SimplySakina
    March 17, 2006
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    Brilliant

    out of this depressing world out comes poets and great poetry such as this

  • Autumn Whisper
    March 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Great little song galfalfa, you have a great sense of humour, well done, keep up these funny poems, they're wicked!
    best wishes as always
    xCrimsonxHorizonx

  • Voodoo witch
    March 6, 2006
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    yeah....I like this one You're really talanted and it's obvious that poetry is your passion.


  • rainyday woman silver member
    February 25, 2006
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    A truly warped sence of interest made me look at this one. and I'm sure glad I did. You are one gifted lady, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart,the top and all the sides too. I'm really glad April sent me your way. I made my 21yo son read Babe in a Can and I cought him chuckeling under his breath, cause heven knows He'd never let me know how funny he thought it was. I'm headed back for more.


  • February 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I like it a lot!I like twisted things.

  • galfalfa gold member
    February 11, 2006
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    thanks vonnie That was done on porpoise..to add a touch of insanity to the poem As always your comments are most appreciated - thanks again


  • rufina caraid gold member
    February 11, 2006
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    One day as he lay standing O.K. how can he lay and stand at the same time, unless of course he's laying down standing up - it's possible ( I think)
    Either way this is a great rhyme Galf.
    Vonnie


  • heartnsoul
    February 9, 2006
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    Came by to visit for a much needed giggle.. and you know... this is even just as funny the second time around!! Ilove it!
    ~Michelle~ :

  • Pari Ali
    February 9, 2006
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    hehehe always a treat waiting ... enjoyed this one immensely


  • NoWayJo
    February 6, 2006
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    I love this...every last sing-songy line of it was a laugh! even right down to the marbles image and the little stickman scratching his head! thanks for the laughs!!!

    Jo


  • Uhs Feth Malorn
    February 6, 2006
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    I like this a lot - thanks for entering my contest. I was reading down the comments on it, and it seems to have already received some pretty good comments - no wonder. Loved it.


  • Ggg g-unit
    February 5, 2006
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    omg...i love it!!!

  • galfalfa gold member
    January 25, 2006
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    thanks Michelle - always appreciate when friends make the time to stop in and leave a comment thanks again ...loved all 3 comments from you

    gal

  • heartnsoul
    January 25, 2006
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    witty, charming and down right funny!

    ROTHFLMAO........ YOU are such a twisted puppy! hmm,, and i'm here... "birds of a feather".... i love it. oh.. and some one would actually question schmuck.. it could've been worse. you could've said schmeckle. but then you'd have to put a freckle on his peckle. ... there's nothin' wrong with a little kiddish on the yiddish.... !! You are too much... good thing i put my coffee down before I read!
    ~Michelle~ ......on to the next one!


  • Northshore64
    January 23, 2006
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    Bitchin!

    Wacky fun and hilarious!!!!
    My,my,my what ever will they do when they find out you got loose? he he he lol
    Another marvelous poem I thank you for the laughs
    You are truely the queen of comedy in the poetry world!!!
    Keep em coming I love to read em all!!!


  • galfalfa gold member
    January 21, 2006
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    Thanks for stopping in Hammer - your comment and applause is most apprecitated


    gal


  • HammeR
    January 20, 2006
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    Hey watch it I warn ya, me marbles rolling kinda woobly. What a sense of humor girl. You most deffinately have way too much time on your hands!!!! Following me around like that and performing test an all on my brainpan of denseness. Hope the world is treating you well and your smile still resides upon your face. Until next we chance to meet...............


  • zzzzz gold member
    January 19, 2006
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    Spherical Bounce

    Love a gal whose lost her marbles, LOL...well, even if it is just one...A nut from across the river, makes me nervous, and kinda shiver..Call Parliament and the crew, pour a pair of cement shoes...hold her fast across river and lake..'fore she really pops and delivers...biting wit on artic gale... But, for a book, you just might of made a sale!


  • R.R. Lim
    January 19, 2006
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    I love this piece gal falfa! Excellent rhyming scheme and rythm. Brilliant and well-written, astounding and humorous. Great sense of humor, and such a great topic to write about! I thank you for making me laugh!

    Great Job!
    Riche

  • Desert Knave
    January 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This was truly brilliant. Well-rhymed and humorous and quite enjoyable. I love the closer " ... Banging off its corridors
    one lonesome little marble ...". ~Jim

  • galfalfa gold member
    January 19, 2006
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    Thanks - there are just some things that never lose their comedic effect over the years - tripping or a person looking behind as they walk forward, banging into a pole I'm terrible for that...if i see a person trip and fall in public or bang into something - i'm doubled over laughing like a callous lunatic.
    Glad you enjoyed my silly nonsense - thanks!

    gal

  • galfalfa gold member
    January 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hiya,

    Awww come on Vera, be rational..aint i allowed to shorten that word with my one marble ... i just bent it a bit...
    [Middle English racional, from Old French racionel, from Latin ratinlis, from rati, ration-, reason. See reason.]

    Actually the schmuck never physically tripped on the banana peel it was his mind that took a fall.

    Shmuk is not the word i used it was schmuck meaning -

    3 entries found for schmuck.
    schmuck also shmuck ( P ) Pronunciation Key (shmk)
    n. Slang
    A clumsy or stupid person; an oaf.

    Please don't ever expect me to make complete sense in my poems. Thank you for checking it out...most appreciated


    gal
    Edited on Jan 19, 5:13 because 'cuz it made no sense'.

  • Vera Rich
    January 19, 2006
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    This is fun... though I would have preferred it with a less crude word than "shmuk!" (I presume you do know the original meaning of this word?)


    And "His ration took a fall" puzzles me somewhat: what is "ration" in this context...

    But these are minor blemishes on a good rollicking laugh... Anything that can defuse the pomposity of the therapeutic professions has to count on the plus side of the ledger.


  • MarkMyWords
    January 19, 2006
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    Yay for banana peels!

    lol. This is adorable. I love funny little poems like this, because they always make me smile. I love how you got the rhyme to work so well also, and the form seemed almost perfect. This was seriously hilarious to me.

    One day as he lay standing
    his logic blew a seal
    Slipping on fruity frock
    a tossed banana peel

    This was my favorite stanza. It reminds me of all those 1990's Saturday morning cartoons where walking down the street almost inevitably led to slipping on someone's old banana peel.

    This poem made my night. lol. This was great. I hope to read more of your poetry soon, especially if you have anymore short, funny, cute pieces like this. Great job.

  • bikerboy92
    January 18, 2006
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    very good

    this is a poem i can definitely relate to in many ways. it was an awesome poem and i hope to see more of your work.


  • pyewacket
    January 18, 2006
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    Gal you have once again made me laugh so hard that my co-workers think I am off my rocker! This is awesomely crafted, you never cease to amaze me with your talent. Saddly, I feel I can relate to your poetry, I can feel my own marbles, all two of them, running amok inside my head. Reading your work always puts a smile on my face and cheers me up!! Thanks!

  • galfalfa gold member
    January 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you Ed...i was thinking on trying to work some of your toe jam in there - but didnt want any one ticketing this for copyright infringments. Loved you comment...very much appreciated!


    gal


  • Balldinger silver member
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Crafted with Zambucca Magic...

    Like no other leather pounch on the counter, yours is the most likely to contain all the pretty marbles - no matter where they've been scattered before. All I wanna know is where do you find the time to sing such songs?


  • hugh wyles silver member
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Gal,
    I've been so busy writing myself that I've not been keeping up with either my reading or commenting and I'm real glad I didn't miss this gem of a parody.
    I hope the subject is not a close personal relation - like no change of congenital is there? Thanks for much needed laughs.
    In return, I offer:
    ~~~
    Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop,
    Yer dad's in the clanger and mum's up the wop.
    When the news breaks, yer sister will fall
    coz she shouldn't sleep with yer uncle at all!!
    Why is the gardener lying on Nursey?
    What's the maid doing with yer big brother's Percy?
    Why's the whole household in such a to-do
    when nobody's giving a stuff about YOU?
    ~~~
    Applause, love and hugz, XXX Hugh.


  • metrophobiac
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You are such a quirky girl...i love the way you write...Sing a Song Of Sickness....so creative and quirky what can I say? well done, gal! Bekah


  • galfalfa gold member
    January 17, 2006
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    Thanks DT...i appreciate you checking this out and your comment It means a great deal

    gal


  • Dragon Tamer
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    So did ya have to tell 'em all about me?I was hopin' to straighten out Very cool poem gal!I enjoyed very much.Glad to see you're writing again Thanks for sharing this humorous piece with us.DT

  • galfalfa gold member
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks Jane - glad it gave you a laugh - it's ok, you can be arrogant - just dont turn crotchety..it has a bad effect on your crotch

  • oneluckygirl
    January 17, 2006
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    Aha! So that is where your muse has been hiding... she simply had a face lift and became a lyricist. What next --- Sound of Music?

    I am fifty going on sixty.. arrogant as can be. ... la la la

    You know you always make me laugh.

    jane

  • Ir.muse
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    lol..this is a cute nice piece.
    Shahrzad


  • Ogreatbaldone gold member
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    With god as my witness
    I say you're pretty strange
    to come up with this craziness
    makes one think you are deranged

    But a sick mind can cause a laugh
    as clearly is seen here
    I laughed so hard, I beg your pard
    gas escaped my rear...pffft!

    very funny gal, enjoyed this, have a clappy thingy


  • Loren
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Aha! This truly amused me. I liked how it was written in the form of the old rhyme but was completely different. It's just something I would never have thought of doing. It's wonderful.

    The rhyming adds to the delight without sounding forced. It is something you should be proud of!

    Well done, keep up the good work!


  • night slayer
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    love it funny and good
    a poem that
    actually rhymes
    for once
    lol
    keep up the
    good
    work!!!












    night.s.

  • Pome
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for making me smile today... that was extremely cute.. I love the rhyme, the rhythm and you carried the nursery rhyme effect quite well. -Pome

  • piccola silver member
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    really a cute write.

  • buffytheparrotslaye
    January 17, 2006
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    Fruity Fun

    Great fun and had a really good laugh.Great rhyming and fabulous imagery.Applaud for cheering up the day.Elizabeth


  • Marianne
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is fantastic. that is THE funniest thing I've read today, thank you so much for sharing this! It's really original and clever.

    Love
    Marianne

  • galfalfa gold member
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, you go right ahead and ticket this...i'll be ticketing your author's page for mentioning the word Sperm in regards to someone's low sperm count
    Site Policy 2045879634 states : No mentioning in posts, poems, comments, columns,instant messages or author's pages any bodily fluid that brings to mind ejaculation or a penile uprising. It is only to be used when followed by the word whale

    Thanks for checking this out

    gal

  • polgara
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Ah-ha...talking about me and my lone marble, are you? ROTF -- This is excellent, Gal...I could sing along with it in my head. But now you've gone and done it--being all productive writing-wise. I'm almost jealous pout. Okay...that does it...I'm pulling up my socks and will get to work

  • miss-conduct
    January 17, 2006
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    Have to agree with everyone else here...this was too funny. I know someone..actually several people...just like this


  • Scotlass
    January 17, 2006
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    It's early in the day for me to be online reading poetry and looking for inspiration, but am I glad I read this. This poem just made me smile - well laugh actually! Well done.

  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Iv heard this befor somewhere think I'll have to ticket it lol
    Very funny if not a little unbalanced but being from who it has come from thats understandable....well done Gal

  • DarkenedAuras
    January 17, 2006
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    HAHAHA OMGOSH! THIS IS>>>>SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY and a terrific Parody of Sing A Song Of Sixpence I don't believe I have ever heard anything as funny as this in my life....if I have you have made me forget it

  • Soundly Disruptive
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Haha nice poem man, your humor explains all...man i especially loved these lines
    "Slipping on fruity frock
    a tossed banana peel"
    good job, best wishes
    -Scott


  • Talia
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL

    Humour my favorite I couldn't remember the full tune of this one, just the beggining of it but hey, still enoyed it and it made me laugh

    excellent


  • Yunalonei
    January 17, 2006
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    LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
    Sorry not point grabbing trying to post a new poem

    I absolutely loved this, the original tune 'Four and Twenty Sixpence' is an old favourite of mine. You have done it justice to a certain point here. Obviously it would have been more of a tribute or you to have created a serious piece but then this is funny which brings joy to the people so i guess it works out ok

    Great Write


  • Bride Of Hate
    January 17, 2006
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    Love it!! Very origional and the wording just kept me laughing! Great job here!!

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