Mother said I should go on a diet.
I was only 8.
I wasn't fat then.
But I didn't know.
She never showed me how to eat properly.
She just didn't let me eat.
I would get so hungry.
It hurt.
Sneaking sneaking.
I would hide food.
She left dad.
Dad wasn't home.
Binging binging.
23 and 220 pounds.
That hurts more than not eating.
Can't stop.
Binging binging.
Sneaking sneaking.
Hiding hiding.
She read too many magazines.
She watched too much TV.
Now I do the same.
The skinny girls in the pictures,
their smiles,
it's really them laughing at me.
When I eat I cry.
When I cry I eat.
Help,
but the help makes me feel guilty,
how could I 'let' it get this bad?
As if it was my choice.
I would stop,
Just give me the tools,
Just give me the support,
stop snickering,
and telling me it's all 'my' fault.
Author notes
Written January 15th, 2006
A contest entry
- Society's effect on women and girls by Jinxgirl.
375 points, ended January 20, 2006, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
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Comments
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lots of it is true unfortunately but i am happy to say that my mind is healthy and i am happy with who i am, but like all of us women there are things we would change. mine is i want to loose about 95-100 poundsl, slowly slowly its happening but im smart enough not to use drugs or bulemia i'm doing the best i can with what ive got. thankyou for your concern
mademoiselle
xoxoxo -
this is a very sad and disturbing piece. mothers don't realize how badly they can affect a child's sense of self... i hope this is not a true story, but if it is I am very sorry for what you've gone through. You have to learn to ignore everyone but your own self, and if your mind is not healthy, then you need to get help. nice job, good luck!
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