they fly on with the storm.
They take the devil’s outline
as an angel's fantasy form.
Hallucinated by energetic,
impatient, enthusiastic emotions.
Misinterpreting a small drop as a
cluster of deep, calm, chaste oceans.
Loitering around on exactly nowhere
enjoying freedom in ignorance’s prison.
Sadness will soon surround them
so will, loneliness and depression.
And when they will realize the reality
it will leave a sorrowful, mournful mark.
I pity them, for they know not,
that they are all dancing in the dark.
- Vichitra Joshi (J.Vic)
Author notes
Here,
Dark(ness) = ignorance
I have seen some people who often take Crush, attraction, lust, desire etc as LOVE. Love is a very delicate word. I may know not what love exactly is, but I at least have learned from all this years of life and now I can say few feelings which can not be called as love.
Later on, such people when get cheated shout out loudly, “Love Sucks”, “I HATE Love”…I don’t know what to say at such times, I rather stay shut, but then I see more and more people these days saying such things. Well, all I need to suggest or advice to such people is it that they should make sure that they are really in love.
Oh yes, I am not trying to start any argument, so polite people who comment, please don’t take it personally.
This Poem is made with all due respect to those nice souls who are in love. ( Now, feel happy
)
Take cares and have a nice time
Miss Me
- Vic
Many Thanks To Lady Adriene ( fae ) for helping me remove mistakes from this poem.
Thank you VERY much.
Written January 16th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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wow!
I mean that, I really do! the 1st paragraph was my fave!keep up the great work!!!!!!!!! -
This Poem is off the scale!!!
wow a very touching write my good friend
it made a tear come to my eye (well slightly) and i am a person who hardly has any emotions


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so u know I am passing this link out and about lol it is incredible...take care friend

Edited on Aug 23, 8:42 p.m. because ''. -
DEEP AND WOW!!!
I pity them, for they know not,
that they are all dancing in the dark
Omg this poem is awesom...those words are incredible as a matter of fact it gave me complete shivers!!!!
Thank u so much for sharing this write...I love writes like this..incredible!!!
Kari -
aaaila...........maar dala allah...maar dala
truly awesome Vic.....actually main itni taarif isliye kar rahin hunn kyunki bahut time k baad mujhe tumhari koi poem samajh aayi hai....jus kidding huney buney,
first of all its really fun that i am cheking out your poems after such a long time.....and as far as this piece is concerned
You are damn true with your comments huney...love isnt that simple....its not a desire but an emotion that makes you surrender yourself to someone.
crushes.lust they are all for fun but true love is damn hard to find.and may be thats why i never had the courage to fall in love with someone coz you cant trust someone so easily in this wierd world......
but that doesnt mean i am not romantic....my flirty attitude show all that i have to offer
and here only i would like to tell you the lines i loved the most
Loitering around on exactly nowhere
enjoying freedom in ignorance’s prison
pity them, for they know not,
that they are all dancing in the dark
lovely lines and very true......you have beautifully described the emotions....great choice of words
anyhow vic.....waiting to hear from your side by earliest...i might come on messenger tonight..catch you there only
bubbly bubbly bye
love
Anshu
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wow ...beautifull write
and love ????/hmmm well you are so write about the misinterpretation ..people do confuse such feelings
being selflessly concerned and genuinely in love is different
well cant say much about that but yes you sure have a lovely way with words and a unique way of puttin ur thoughts on paper
great write
i loved reading this one
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"They take the devil’s outline
as an angel's fantasy form."
This is full of Vicness
I didnt read the author's comment coz i like to intrepret things on my own way and well here it goes..
Well, we all do dance in the dark, and 'hide behind some pity and a lot of lies' as one of my frds says..
I think ppl are too scared to face the real cruel world and prefer to stay in the dark so they wont be noticing anythin and not facin any its troubles!Im not sure they will realize the truth since they keep livin in their dream world..
I personaly think this sometimes help way more than facin every obstacle in ur life...
Good job!!
xxx -
yeah
now this one is fuunnn, thanx ep...i must continue to feed -
brilliant!
great poem!
I can't believed how talented you are!
i have only posted ameture poems on here, ones i wrote a couple of years ago, but even my latest renditions of emotion aren't half as good as yours, great ending, it reminds me of a sonnet i had to annalyse, when i remember what it was i'll get back to you. great poem, keep it up
by the way adding it to my favourites!!!!! -
There is freedom in ignorance. Not knowing all the answers ca be most enlightening. Do you remember the days of childhood when there was magic in the world? Alas, too many of us have seen behind the curtain and know The Great Oz is not so great and the world is a little smaller for that...
"You can't start a fire, you can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire even if we're just dancing in the dark"
--Bruce Sringsteen -
brilliant
I see im not the only 1 to like this 1... hmm very impressive! -
this poem is interesting, fitting and it really hits me when I read it...it really makes my eyes pop for this poem has an interesting effect on me, the words could grow on me cuz it can relate to me on a dark time of the day or when I feel gloomy..this poem is a light at the end of the cave to me - i'm touched...
In the wrong direction,
they fly on with the storm.
They take the devil’s outline
as an angel's fantasy form.
Good opening!
And when they will realize the reality
it will leave a sorrowful, mournful mark.
I pity them, for they know not,
that they are all dancing in the dark.
Darn nice ending!!!
-
"enjoying freedom in ignorance’s prison."
"I pity them, for they know not,
that they are all dancing in the dark."
yo.... you rock my socks, even though me no have socks on right now... but yeah. lol. Great poem. you're good. i'm not gonna explain what i like about it... b/c all the aboce pl have done so... but DAMN! good poem. very very well done -
gr8888888888888 work. keep it up!!!!!!!!
hey vic
1st i shall admit tht i dont possess the quality which i think 1 shld possess to understand wht u exectly wanna say.only a poet can know wht other poet(tht too of ur caliber)wanna say.u r really kool though i read only 3 poems written by u but they all r gr888.i able to understand wht u wanna say only by reading ur comments.i really agree wth u n i believe if 1 say tht "love sucks" or "i hate love" he/she is proving himself/herself tht they dont know wht it means.as u said "1 shld make sure tht they really in lov" i think its most difficult as there isnt a defination of lov tht if u fullfill all those requirements tht means u r in lov.but if u hav any such defination i wld lov to know it tht how can a person make sure tht he is in lov or just another crush n all.though i think i know a lot abt lov i will surely like to know wht u think lov is?coz i think its the most difficult ques to b answered. as feelings can never b explained but as u r a gr888 poet i guess u will surely explain it.i m hopeful n looking 4ward to talk to u.
bye
t c
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left me breathless!
gosh Vic... your talent is really incredible... it feels so good to ahve read something from you again... I love this one!
You're really excellent with words, and rhyme, and everything!
That's all, I can't say anything more.
~ diwata ~ -
a good write...true and beautiful...done in a wonderful fashion.
-
So identifiable with
This is a beautiful poem, eternal..I'm not just returning the favour..I think my favourite lines are
'Misinterpreting a small drop as a
cluster of deep, calm, chaste oceans.'
I've had this experience of mistaking different emotions, even though I'm now very much in Love, not just infatuated or anything. This poem makes the most sense to me, and I really connedt with it.
I also love how the title is so beautifully brought out in the last few lines.
AWESOME stuff.
PS..was really nice meeting you here..Will continue to read your poems and give you my most frank suggestions : )
ria-k -
awesome
awesome poem very spiritual and
meaningful speaks to the heart. -
amazing
This is one of my favorite poems...very nice. I love how its open enough that its relatable to several situations yet your intent is still clear. -
Vic I love this poem!!! Its beautifully written....
I wish I could be half as talented as you are when it comes to writing!!
keep up the good work!!!
s and
s to ya!!!!
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Vic, you are very popular, this poem is awesome, I'm only 15 and think I'm in love all the time. at the moment it's with Gary, it could be someone else next week hehehe.
joanna
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You are far too smart for your own good!
I luvs ya!
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I love this poem........ Like I have said the rhyming and rhythm isn't the part that concerns me......... I love the meaning in it. This is awesome. I LOVE YOU VIC!
talk to you later honey.
*hugs and kisses* -
a nice display of rhyme and rythym in this poem. goood job on it. cool dude.
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This is a very good writing,
I enjoyed the emotions I got whenever,
I had read this.
Muchlove
Donna -
excellent
the form stood out to me the most. awesome job! -
Brilliant
hey buddy,
man...this piece was superb and true...i agree with u and ur thoughts are very well shown by u...
these things are a bit complicated in understanding...but ur poem makes it easy...
i liked that line "enjoying freedom in ignorance's prison." i really like ur paradoxical writes..
and this one was a beautiful example of that..
thanks for sharing...
Ur pal,
Parth. -
great poem
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Wow that was really really good! i really like it, its so powerful, when i read it i added a word at the bottom, i pread it like this(they are dancing ALONE in the dark) meh, great job!! i appluad!
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Bravo!!! Bravo!!! Bravo!!!
Vic,
OMG this is so exquisite. As your mom said, it is so good to see you back writing and yes you are a sage. You have learned much in your young years and you look upon life realistically. So many times what isn't truly love can be confusing and cause those in the darkness to lash out at love.
Your words summed it up so beautifully, great rhythm and rhyme.
This just flowed into my heart and produced wonderful imagery.
Kudos to you my friend for such a deep and prophetic write.
You are filled to overflowing with talent and wisdom. I give you so many
zzzzzzzzzzz and
esssssssss for this magnificent work of art that flowed from your pen, it is truly a masterpiece. Sneaking you some more chocos, I keep extra on hand just for you.
Thank you for coming back and sharing with all of us. The smile you put on my face and in my heart are so big that words can't describe it. Love and blessings for you my sweet young friend, today and always.
Joyce
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You made me cuss out loud this was so good and I think
profanity bad
lol
I'll return and leave an indepth comment later...
for now have a clappy
Dan -
great
Great poem. lotta feeling in this work. You did well. Good job and keep writeing -
Exquisite
A finely crafted work of art, and I happen to agree completely with the sentiments expressed in your poetry
But then, I've been married for 30 years, what do I know? (I know a little about long term commitment, at least
I don't mean that as a put down to anyone, I had a disastrous first marriage. I guess I've learned a little about both sides of the coin, LOL. I'll stop rambling and wish you the VERY best of luck in the contest with this passionate write.
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Welcome back to writing son
Like a wise Sage, you teach lessons to your audience. The rhyme here is very good and it flows well. My favourite part is the last line, it brings it all together well. Thanks for sharing. Love you son. Mums
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good
love is misleading and this always happens a lot espeically when we are young..but i still am looking for love that is held true by all people..i haven't found out yet because i believe that every thing in life is so transient..i have felt what have written here so well and precisely with ofcourse a lot of power and sanctity..though this has been a subject that most poets refrain from, there are big responsibilties on our weak shoulders !!! so they say..but i have felt strongly the poems should always be about what you believe in..and that i what really matters..glad you chose something like this to write about and you have reall done a darn good job here. -
i loved loved loved how you rhymed emotion with ocean...that was spetacular....but then you rhymed prison with depression..and I think you could have done so much better on that line...but the second line was truly poetic...I felt the third stanza was unecassary though.
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Great job Vic! Splendid form, structure, rythm and rhyme. The feeling and message disclosed in this piece is very deep and full of wisdom. You never cease to amaze me and I am glad you are back to post a new poem!
Indeed, we are lost and blind on what is the true love, and your wisdom impels us to journey and seek for that absolute truth.
Beautiful Work!
Riche
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Yes I did get those points and i even gave you back few more points
.. hope you recieved them
.. thanks for reading my write
- vic to hasha (hassanova) -
True... and great wisdom for your age man... sometimes we all get lost and it is words like yours which can bring people back in the right direction.
You've done well with your author's comments to put things in the right perspective. While even true love may not be always happy, I do express agreement with your observation that a lot of people brood about 'crushes' and the like, which would appear too small a thing even when they themselves look at it years later from now... Thanks for sharing a message of wisdom.
Best of luck to you, always...
Saurabh. -
6 ****** OUT OF 5
Dude..Are u freakin kidding me? This remarkable and BOOKMARKABLE..I could never write like this...what a wonderful use of language and vivid imagery and scenery u displayed with ur rhymes which also portrayed ur deep emotions or the ones who are dancing in the dark.. A POWERFUL FINISH, i TRULY LOVED THE ENDING BUT WHAT i LIKED, a lot as well was...
"Hallucinated by energetic,
impatient, enthusiastic emotions.
Misinterpreting a small drop as a
cluster of deep, calm, chaste oceans."
AHHHH, those lines were simply magnificent my friend! And this was 3rd best...
"Sadness will soon surround them
so will, loneliness and depression."
Exquisite work my friend..And I forgot that u were the same dude who wrote the, "To Respected"..series..man AM i A FAN OF UR WORK..looks like I'm comin around here a lot more..btw..did u get the points I had donated?
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wow...this is SUCH an amazing poem. I see many great writes, but this one blows me away. I don't see many people your age who write poems like this with such wisdom. I know I'm one of the guilty ones, but mostly all I see is "I wanna die!" or "you broke my heart!" This one is much deeper than that. I like that metaphor, too, about darkness being ignorance. This is a great job and I really loved it. You keep up the great work!
~Lisi~ -
Wow. You haven't written in a while, my friend! Ah but what a great poem you have here. I especially love the verbiage in the second verse. 'Hallucinated' now that's a great, descriptive word. Anyways, back to the poem
Looking at your comments I can see what you're trying to impart in this poem. Love is SUCH an illusive feeling; one not very cooperative to finite writing. I think that's why we, as writers, tend to focus so very much on writing about love, in one form or another: we are trying so very hard to communicate something that is, in essence, intangible. (We as in most people, as well as ME, but not YOU, yes).
I think the form of the poem is a little restrictive for you. I would love to see you try your hand a less restrictive form, something completely free. Either way, I greatly enjoyed reading THIS poem, as I always do with your work. One opinion, if you'll allow me: It is terribly hard to 'make sure' you're in love. When you first fall in love, you think it IS love. Like... OMG! This is IT. Then, that relationship doesn't work out, and you say OMG I hate love. This sucks! When most likely it wasn't ever love to begin with. But, we can only talk about our own experiences. We can only understand love based upon our own experiences with it. NOt finitely, mind you, there are exceptions; I happen to think YOU my dear, are indeed an exception. Wonderful job. Look how much you made me think. Argh! He he
Two quick edits:
As an angels fantasy form.
angel's
Cluster of deep, calm and chaste oceans.
...deep, calm, chaste oceans
One quick suggestion:
In the wrong direction,
They fly on with the storm.
They take the devil’s outline
As an angels fantasy form.
In the wrong direction,
they fly on with the storm;
taking on the devil's outline
as an angel's fantasy form.
Basically, this poem in particular might be better presented by NOT capitalizing each line in the stanza that is related to the previous one. Personal preference and only a suggestion either way I
this
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Whoa, PraFOOL! This is such profound work...I loved the metaphor in the title that you used here to describe simple and ignorant "lustful" emotions...I agree with you that love is something extremely deep but yeah, people often confuse it with plain infatuation. You wrote after a long time but this poem was worth the wait.
Good luck in the contest!
-Navdi
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My dear Vic,
This is a wise wonderful beautiful great nice piece.What else to add?
You're wonderful my dear.I'm sure you'll be a great poet one of these days.Of course you are now a great poet.
Shahrzad -
From the title "Dancing in the Dark" I think you have come up with a truly good explanation, Well done and good luck in the contest
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hey vic dis piece is awesome i loved it!
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your work is really great and your search for love is really deep.may god grant you success..jin dhoondha tin paiyaa gehre pani paith..have a nice time...majestic...hypnotised i am..
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oh sweetheart this is really good. you blow me away with the heart you write with. I am so glad you had me read this. yes ignorance is in so many and yet they donyt care. beautifuly done
love
kiddy -
Totally Wonderful
I love your poem. Love the metaphor darkness is ignorance. We all misinterpret one thing for another at times. But you don't know you are in darkness until someone shines a light and you wonder what was the sudden brightness and you have to squint your eyes. Now I am guilty of being the one who say love sucks. Seriously though I won't blame love I will blame the people I chose to love. So I have one question if you devote three years or more to a person, you both care for each other and you plan a future together all the feelings of completion are there can you call it love? If that person then cheats on you or leaves you can you say love suck? You are very young and wise let me know when love blinds you. -
WEll young man, I like your style of writing, you are very wise for one so young. Ohhh I am one of the lucky ones, I have a wonderful Husband who treats me like a Queen. We live in New Zealand. A wonderful poem you have written and I like your Author comment, and it's true, some do fall in and out of love easily. But when they find the right one they know instantly that this is the person for them. Good luck in the contest.
Sally
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wow...um, good poem vic. nice job
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your poem inspired me to write one too
I can not say I don't get annoyed by people who seem to say they are in love one day, have a broken heart the next and are in love with someone new the following day. Yet, everyone has their own way of going about their search, and so I don't care to try to understand the way everyone thinks the way they think.
If there were advice to give to these people, I would say, it takes more than a couple nice compliments and a little bit of attention from someone to constitute love. It takes time, effort, and a deep emotional investment and the sacrifice of "want".
A very good write Vic.
s and best wishes.. ~genielassie~
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This is awesome! I love how you used darkness to describe ignorance. Such a great metaphor of kinds. I love this. It's so true! But it is hard to tell the difference between love and other emotions...I'm not argueing with your points made but just saying some people can't tell the difference! But I do like how you wrote this using darkness as a symbol... awesome job, good luck and thanks for entering
~Fi~




































