First Funeral

I was having a good day.
I'd slept at last
the night before,
Perfect weather.

Went to class,
Didn't hide in the bathroom.
Aced a test,
Talked for once...

I was getting along with my mom.
We joked,
We laughed,
We went for Chinese.

At home, a message waited on the machine.
When I heard the beeping,
I already knew
what it was.


Grandpa had died.


I'd never heard my grandmother cry before.
He'd been dead
for three whole hours.

I never really saw my mother cry.
We flew out
the next afternoon.

My mom's mom and my uncle met us.
No one really talked about him.
Just the funeral plans.


They told me not to cry


I didn't want to look, but they made me.
He looked like he was sleeping

I didn't know everyone who showed up.
Never knew he had so many friends.


I cried in the car.


Then I cried alone in my room.