Oh fair maiden alone in distress
thee brave knight in armor dress.
A flower unfolds with petals anew
so fair her beauty so fair her hue.
Kept in darkness in a castle afar
her tears silent as a falling star.
Hopes shatter in passing time
never more to hold love divine.
Brave knight in boldness does ride
to mount and sit his horse astride.
To journey in darkness without rest
fortitude abounds a lover's quest.
Gallops with hope across the land
longs softness of fair lady's hand.
Clouds like dreams pass in the day
searching for true love so far away.
Tears in the night now eerily still
his lady love has now lost her will.
With broken heart no longer copes
time and distance dash her hopes.
A flower dies as last petals befall
the silence broken with deaths call.
Heart in hand last breath so sweet
only heavenly souls now to meet.
Deaths path of least resistance
angelic voices heard in distance.
Not without end his journey leads
death by his own sword he bleeds.
Two souls in Heaven finally free
so richly rewarded for bravery.
Found after death's sweet surrender
love like petals, so soft and tender.
Author notes
Written January 14th, 2006
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This is a very beautiful and sad fairytale. It reminds me a little of Romeo and Juliet with a Repunzel twist. Another beautiful write.
Thanks again for entering my contest. -
Congratulations on the well deserved gold
Ruth -
Wow is right, this is a great story and poem. I like the ending, though not quite sure if it is a happy ending or sad. Of course it is tragic, but for security of the hereafter... it would be a wondrous reunion. Well done, Sandy. Michael.
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a great write
wow. . . amazing write i love it -
Absolutely and awesomely beautiful! Sigh.... Just everything I was looking for and so very much more! Thank you so much for sharing this and for entering it into the contest! It's gorgeous, my friend
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wow..... very well written and imagery so amazing. You are such an inpiration Sandy. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem. I really especially liked these lines: "Deaths path of least resistance
angelic voices heard in distance.
Not without end his journey leads
death by his own sword he bleeds.
Two souls in Heaven finally free
so richly rewarded for bravery.
Found after death's sweet surrender
love like petals, so soft and tender."
So much imagery was contained in just so few lines. You are wonderful. never stop writing.
~Laura
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Hi Sis! A beautiful fairy tale...with a very sad ending.
Why not have him rescue her and then have them live happily ever after? Settle down in a little castle and have a half a dozen kids. That would be a real love story. Everyone loves a happy ending
Nice picture...I'd prefer one of the handsome knight. Just kidding! Not! Lovely poem. ~ ♥ ~ Linny
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loved it, great, good, yay, ok get my point .
wow, I loved it!, it reminded me of Romeo and Juliet, or that first part of Sherk two, ither way I loved it! Keep writeing like that please! -
This is amazing! The rhyming scheme is absolutely flawless. You have a romantically beautiful piece here. I can't say enough. Bravo!
Edited on Jan 14, 11:39 because ''. -
Very well written. Although I'm no one for poems like this, I like how it flowed and the imagery you use is good. Nice work
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This is truley a great piece of poetry.Keep up the great work
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If it was meant to be a modern piece, I'd probably not like it as much, but the melody and scheme of the poem reflects the time period in which it was meant to be set.
You had great images and I really really liked it. Keep writing.
<3 adia -
Love-ly
A wonderful treatise of love and faith but not bravery and thus bravery is included erroneously to my fair ignorant brain and then this poem creates a dismal picture for its "heavenly" meeting and then marriages are still made in heaven,I guess...the words used are of the highest calibre and the second line is a bit confusing to my wee little brain..should it be the archaic second personal thine instead of thee...the picture is a portrait in riposte....well done Sandy...cheers Shubs -
Comment
My Critique of your poetry/story
Please do not be offended from my critique, my style of writing is totally different than yours. I will note what I see and what I like about your work. but remember it is your work that is what makes us individuals and unique in our individual perspective.
Continue to write in your own style and make the changes as you see fit as you are the person that must accept your work
Bravo! My applause, that is excellent, very well written
classic taste and such a beautiful picture. The title is well defined thru the poets subject matter. Good work...keep it up Good Luck
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Wow, I just love it. I've tried to write some poetry like this before, and I've never actually managed! It's so hard! And you did it, and make it sound so easy to read and write. Great job!
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Well it is a very deep melody of the philosophy of the life touching its delicate aspects here with such a beautiful way along with a magical description depicting the scenario of the subject which is just stunning . The flow of the write is just great.It is a touchy and vey beautiful work of the sentimental heart indeed...
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thats usefull then... ace
im amased - ive never read a poem on the topics here before... it sounds so fresh - so contempory.... how usefull i found it- well done...
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