I was asked a question:
What is your understanding of the ministry of a priest and why do you believe yourself called to such ministry?
The ministry of a priest is not easy in my estimation. It involves a rollercoaster of emotions. It involves sharing the joys and sorrows of those in the Christian community to which one is called to serve. To be present, and to provide support and love for those who may have lost their job, been diagnosed with cancer, lost a loved one or are facing their own end of days. But likewise it is to share the joy of weddings, new births and to dance and sing at the party when the cancer goes into remission. It is to challenge oneself, and others, to see the face of Christ in all we meet. To live into the stories of compassion and love and justice that are wrapped in the truth of scripture, to celebrate in community and to share bread and wine as symbols of Christ with us, in us, beside us and beyond us. However all of these characteristics, qualities and actions are not unique to the ministry of a priest, for this is precisely what each and every Christian is called to do through their baptism. To live into the words of St. Paul and to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. A priest is called, like all Christians, to not only live out these characteristics, but to be an example of Christ’s love in the world. A priest is also called to be the custodian of the Christian mystery, and to be the storyteller who brings to life the words and actions of Jesus from the manger, to his baptism, to his life of love and compassion, to the cross, and beyond. It is to tell and retell our sacred story and to show that these stories are not only relevant in this modern world, but they are absolutely essential. To celebrate the sacraments as it has been done for millennia; “in remembrance of me.” To lead a community through the often murky depths of doubt, despair, hurt and sorrow, knowing that God is in these places.
One spring Sunday several years ago, I arrived at church and sat where light streamed through the beautiful stained glass windows and landed on my hands as I sat in silent prayer. I looked up to see which window I was sitting under, and saw a brown door, with Jesus standing on the threshold with the words “Behold, I stand at the door and knock”, printed underneath. I remember reading that and thinking, wouldn’t it be easy if someone could tell me what I should be doing with my life and so I asked, “God – what should I do with my life?” That made me chuckle, for if you looked at the physical, tangible, material things, as I was accustomed to doing, I was doing quite well. I had a good job in which I had just received a promotion and I bought my first home, I had been baptized that previous fall and I had finally opened up my heart and fallen in love. I knew that God calls each of us to a specific ministry and we have gifts and talents and things we love to do that make us love our ministry. I thought I had found what I was to do. Work in a corporate environment, bring my beliefs and values to work, maybe get married and have a family and give back to my Christian community. After seven years of building up walls around myself, I was finally pushing them down and things were finally starting to fall into place in my life, starting to follow the plan I had set out. So as the service started, and I began to immerse myself in the liturgy, it came as a shock when as the sermon ended, an acquaintance leaned over and said “Kristen – you’re supposed to be a priest.” WHAT???
I spent the next couple of years convincing myself that this was an insane idea. What on earth could I offer – I’m not a cradle Anglican, I had just celebrated the first anniversary of my baptism. But those words were never far from the front of my mind. No matter how much I pushed them out of my thoughts, I could not dismiss it. There had been a fundamental change in my being, in how I saw the world and my place within it because of the Gospel. I had always been someone with a gift for listening but a fear of speaking, an empathetic heart, but a fear of putting my beliefs into action, an academic knowledge of fairness and justice, but lacked in the ability to apply it. I believe I have been blessed with the desire to serve others, and the Christ story has given me the courage to do something about all of these things that had once only lived in my mind. It is within this imperfect church that I have discovered the perfect love of God. And it is within the Eucharistic Mystery that I have seen and experienced the transforming power of Christ’s love, and what an awesome gift and responsibility that truly is. It is not just a little wafer and some sweet tasting wine, but about getting over my own ego and instead offering myself with all my faults and failures and jagged little edges to recognize the presence of God, not in all that I have, but in all that I am. I suppose the best answer is to say that I am responding to the will and desire in my heart to serve God by serving people. To listen and respond with love and compassion. To answer the tugging of my heartstrings as Samuel finally did, with confidence, saying, “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.”
Author notes
This is a question on an application for postulancy that I have to write - I would appreciate any feedback!
Written January 13th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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Quite a miracle!!!
Awesome! I wish I knew what I was supposed to be doing for God..I'm a little confused myself. Can I ask you something? (you can just send me a message, not comment) but how old are you? (if you don't want to answer it, it's totally fine.) Thanks and God Bless! -
Very nicely written! I love the flow that isn't overworked in its presentation. It has the needed humility balanced with the inner cry to our worthy Lord who is being believed in.
instead offering myself with all my faults and failures and jagged little edges to recognize the presence of God, not in all that I have, but in all that I am. <------ wow!
Love the ending. Broke and made a new space in my heart!
Thank you for sharing this!
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I can agree with this...the minstry of a priest is not one...that those who have a heart for God leaps up to accept...
...some may feel it is like a celebrity...but to be a minister is to serve...and that is a humbling experience...cause even in intercession you find yourself taking on the emotions and the pain that others may feel and never understand it...
..then as you said....we begin to feel like we have nothing to offer...but those are the ones God calls and uses...cause He has deposited His spirit in us...and we need Him to put it into use...
...so I do pray that you will go against the religious strongholds that are set up against the true belivers...and really say for God I live...and for God I will die...
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this is very powerful. I really can't think how it could be any better. You really spoke from the heart here
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Powerful
The source of light in your life is so very evident and this is an interesting view of your heart. blessings and best wishes, ~richard
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If your pastor doesn't have a sense of humour over the bread and cheese thing - you HAVE to tell him this! Here is an exerpt from the Hyppolytus, one of the earliest known liturgies (I kid you not)
Chapter 6 - THE BLESSING OF CHEESE AND OLIVES
Likewise, if anyone offers cheese and olives, he shall say thus: Sanctify this milk which has been coagulated, coagulating us also to your love. Make this fruit of the olive not to depart from your sweetness, which is an example of your richness which you have poured from the tree of life to those who hope in you.
All I have to say... Thanks be to God!
Edited on Feb 07, 8:52 p.m. because 'I lied... thought this was from the Didache [did-a-key] actually from Hyppolytus... sorry!'. -
"alethia amen!"
Amen! Despite the different opinions we hold, I think we agree when it comes to the heart and core of Christianity and christian ministry. Lately, I've been learning alot of the same things that you wrote about here, and I can very much relate to all of that. As a future pastor, I look forward to celebrating the joys of my congregation, and supporting and listening to them through to hard times. I anticipate with joy the challenges that will come my way, and trust in God for my strength. For someone I disagreed with so much at first, I feel exactly the same way you do now.
Here's my advice to you:
Always listen, but don't be afraid to speak.
Always cherish that empathy and love for people that comes so naturally, but don't be afraid to act on it. Don't just FEEL love, make love complete by acting on it.
Always hold dear your passion to serve Christ, but never feel afraid to open up your life to witness to the story of the glorious resurrected Christ within you. Serve with joy, and in joy, SERVE.
I too echo the cry of Samuel, and that of Isaiah: "Here am I Lord, send me."
May you always proclaim the Word of God with confidence and in Truth, both in speech, and in action.
- Stephen -
heheh i doubt my pastor would have a sense of humour over the wine & cheese either... St Paul might have coz I know God has a good sense of humour (look at kiwi birds & penguins, the Creator had fun with his pet project... mind the pun) and probably picked someone with a sense of humour as well...
anyways, as servant & custodian, i suppose you of all people would help others to celebrate in God's love. especially the line int he last paragraph "heartfelt desire to proclaim the Word of God and a sense of awe and reverence"
you took a bit long on the intro in explaining what a christian does in general and a great argument of why can't it just be any layperson who has another 9-5 job (my personal feeling is that anyone can proclaim the Word properly with a bit of study to a Bible study group) i thought you were going for youth leadership as well
get me up to date on your fun lately, let's start flooding the christian group with letters again and cause some controversy
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Hiya Phil! So good to hear from you (especially with a compliment!)
Ha! I did take out the stale bit earlier... but I tell you - that stuff is usually stale! I've had it fresh and it taste's different - guess that's just one of the things I notice when you go for communion a few times a week - though I'm not advocating the cheese bit either!
Do you think I acually answered the question??? -
you'll figure it out
it's not stale... sacramental bread's unleaven and it's supposed to taste like that you crazy woman... and the wine's supposed to be bitter, not a pleasure to the palette. otherwise it'd have cheese with it, not bread, although that's not the point at all!! yet i like your analogy that it transcends our understanding of what it is to partake in the last supper.
this is the part i liked the most:
"It is to tell and retell our sacred story and to show that these stories are not only relevant in this modern world, but they are absolutely essential." it's a bit hard to understand a world where camels and donkeys were the mode of transportation, but when you look at the fundemental messages, it takes a while longer to think through and really understand.
that's why there's people who are specifically studying the subject and make it easy to digest for laypeople. though sometimes the metaphors get long winded... ohwell... i feel the same way about my journalism that i wanna tell the stories right; even if it's over and over again, then it makes it sink in.
thanks for the intruiging inspiration.... beautiful verse of scripture for your conclusion. keep writing dearie
God Bless ya
phil -
>For it is not just a stale little wafer and some bad tasting wine, its about transcending both time and space.
I love this line, although... some people might find it slightly offensive, hope you already have a pretty good idea of how the people who will be reading it will receive it. Sorry this has taken so long, I had basically just walked in the door when I got your message. If I have more time I'll look it over more thoroughly... but so far it looks very good to me. -
This....is very long....
I like it
~Ruven
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