Cardboard hearts and little candy kisses
seem to be the order of the day
see the woman as she reminisces
of a time when many came her way
now she sits alone in tears of sorrow
well aware her life is passing by
hoping for a miracle tomorrow
so no one else will see the woman cry
Love had been so close, yet never meeting
like strangers brushing shoulders in a crowd
she felt its warmth, but the touch was fleeting
a dissipating image in a cloud
so many nights she dreamed of ever after
but waking, realized it wasn't true
see the woman longing for some laughter
or even just a friendly smile would do
Sad it is and some would call it tragic
the hand of fate come knocking at her door
she used to be the keeper of the magic
her bag of tricks lies empty on the floor
thick and hot, the air of desperation
searching for some peace that she might find
praying to resolve her situation
before they see the woman lose her mind
Rakerman
Author notes
R a k e r m a n 1
A contest entry
- Let your mind explore by Learning2PaintYou.
550 points, ended November 8, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A poetic retelling of an unfortunate seduction by cookie-monster.
400 points, ended September 14, 26 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Wow! This is penned very well. I really enjoyed reading it. I like that you used rhyme, but in a way that doesn't make it sound forced. It flowed very nicely. You've done very well with this poem.
Thank you so much for your entry. Good luck!
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Perfection
This is gorgeous, superior real poetry by a fully talented poet. -
Woah. *gapes in awe* How is it that your writing is so very similar to the words I have read within my own heart? I wish I could express them as well as you have done!!
I think this is a lovely Valentine's Day poem; although sad, it rings true with a lot of women, I suspect. My favorite lines are these:
Love had been so close, yet never meeting
like strangers brushing shoulders in a crowd
she used to be the keeper of the magic
her bag of tricks lies empty on the floor
Your imagery gets me every time!
Another magnificent work of art, and I can't say that I'm surprised in the least.
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Ditto... 
Beautiful, poignant, laden with pathos & understanding...well done, Rakerman1... 
Wanda
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I was thinking, "dang he's writing about me" then I saw some of the other comments that said the same thing You have penned a universal poem here, that touches on so many hearts that long for yesterday or for a brighter future. Tragic indeed. Lovely work Raker
~Lyrical
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Quite a sad word picture indeed.Old age can be incrediably cold. Loves lived and lost are balm to the soul in those empty desperate days. Your poetry sure makes me want to think about it all...but what can one do? We all get old someday.Pity when it is you(each of us)! Tks for the great write. Walt.
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I loved this. Very well written. I loved the flow of it and the vivid picture it gave me.
I really enjoyed it. -
excellent writing
Just beautiful Rakerman. Every stanza contains such strong emotion. The sadness, regrets, memories of a person can be so sad and overpowing at times. You have done a wonderful job on this one.
etherealforu
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I think it is sweet and sad at the same time. I think you did very well describing the woman getting older. Good job.
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excellent read beautifully descriptive
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Wow!!! Deep deep deep deep deep! May none of us ever know the feeling of despair this woman does. It seems as if her whole life was in vain. Without someone to love.....man. Beautiful write.
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It reminds me so of growing old, and depending on (ya know what I'm talking about
) it's very sad to me, this poem. However, it has such a great ring of truth to it! Awsome job really, I like it through and through.
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Cardboard hearts and little candy kisses
seem to be the order of the day
see the woman as she reminisces
of a time when many came her way
now she sits alone in tears of sorrow
well aware her life is passing by
hoping for a miracle tomorrow
so no one else will see the woman cry
It's a beautiful opening friend, a thousands stars shall be hung in the sky tonight for such words of meaning. -
this is really good. deep and whatnot. you have a lot of power behind your words. ~~~~~~~~~Nini~~~~~~~~~
Edited on Jan 13, 7:43 p.m. because 'edited by symitar to remove spam'. -
love it love you you beautiful person
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well it is a very deep and very thoughtful work revealing certain messages which are here to feel and to interpret through and through..The thoughts are very frank and very honestly touching the story of the love through the existance of the women here in this write.The beauty of the write lies in the focus of the subject which is so naked and so open that it makes a new dimention of this issue again and aagain. The flow of the write is beautiful and very slick too. It is really a significant work by the poet..prabhudayal khattar
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Great job! I love the line about the magic and empty bag of tricks. That line really sums the whole thing up. I love it. Great job!
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