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Choking On The Noose

'Cause anything we wanted, it's all caught in the snare.
It takes a noose to brave the night
Buried in the dying light,
So go ahead and kick away the chair.

There's no point in forcing something if it isn't there,
And I just don't think we'll get it right.
'Cause anything we wanted, it's all caught in the snare
It takes a noose to brave the night.

And now it doesn’t matter, just how, or when, or where.
There’s only anguish in our sights;
Not a hope for sleep tonight.
It goes down better numb, so just try not to care.
‘Cause anything we wanted, it’s all caught in the snare.

Author notes

In case you couldn't tell by all of the poems reading some variation of 'Untitled', I'm really bad at titles. So help me out, if you so desire.

Mmkaii. This is a Rondel, my first, so be a little nice. The pattern is supposed to be ABba, abAB, abbaA

Title courtesy of my loooovely halfling, Rose Dark Thorn. Thank you.
Written January 12th, 2006

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • memnoch
    February 20, 2006
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    pretty good! the structure was enjoyable, and i liked the imagery too. i seriously don't get the title :-) but then again, u did comment about that on ur author space.. great write..

  • theendisnear21
    January 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed your poem i tought you have a very good use of symbolism.


  • Victoria of Aragon
    January 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is spectacularrrrr, darling. You did really well with the whole rhyme thingerrr... So, like, feel special! I don't think I've ever been decent at rhymng.. ~Whisper.~ I have to use an online rhymer half the time. ._.

    MOVING ON. Yes.

    I rather like the title Rose suggested. ^ ^; I would suggest my own, but I don't think they could compare with her's. All I could think of was "Snare of the Innocent" .. But I don't really think that fits too well.. e e; SOOO.. Yes.

    Again, beautiful write, darling.

  • Naraku No Hana
    January 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    *screams* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I LOVE this. It's amazing! I can really hear a tune with this. As soon as I started reading it I was headbanging! kidding. Not THAT bad. Just...slight headbanging. Wonderful write.

    I'm trash at titles, as my twinny know so...no suggestions, sorry.


  • Rose Dark Thorn silver member
    January 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Nooo problem. I have to be good at titles when I have over 700 poems written.


  • crimsonshadow
    January 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you honey, I'm glad you liked it. Annd...I like that title tooo... I'm gonna show it to Marissa who seems to have a knack for titling but I like that one. Thankies. I heart you. <3


  • Rose Dark Thorn silver member
    January 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    OKAY....first of alll...this is gorgeous and would make a pretty fuckin' AWESOME song 'cause it really sounds like one. And second of all....you're WAAAAY better at rondels than I am. Third of all...title....Hm...Let me think....

    Choking On The Noose
    Noose's Snare
    Noose's Trap

    I personally like the first one the best.

1 - 7 of 7