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The Glass Coffin

Decaying rose petals,
Falling upon water’s surface,
A glass coffin, laying on the earth,
Cold black eyes open,
So soft, so delicate,
Fragile and innocent,
Yet so full of hate.

An empty vessel,
Waiting..
Watching..
The moon is rising,
The blurry light shines through to me,
As I look up through the water.

Each petal separates itself
From the rose.
It sinks, and lands on my lid,
Where my hands are reaching out.

The glass so cold against my skin,
My hands so frail,
The last words, running through my mind,
So desolate.
Detached. Away from the world.
It seems so distant..

I open my mouth,
And scream...
My skin starts to tingle,
My breathing starts again,
I am living once more...

Author notes

I'm thinking of writing a part 2, you don't have to comment on this, but i'd appreciate it if you think I should or shouldn't write What Happens Next to the person in the coffin..
Written January 12th, 2006

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • looneyeclipse
    July 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    It's really shallow that you've just copied my comment to you, and posted it as if you came up with it all by yourself..

    It's people like you that put the R in RETARD.

    Why did you delete every comment on your poem except for one, just because they were HONEST and told you your poem was absolute shit??


  • petrichor
    February 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    That was an excellent title it drew me in instantly. This was so morbid but at the same time just wonderful. YOu have a powerful dark way of writing, it just expresses so much emotion and it was great.


  • NotMyShadeOfGray
    January 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    oh wow....this is so beautiful! i'm at a loss for words with it...i can picture all of this inside my head and it paints SUCH a wonderful picture. great job!
    s and s
    ~Arachne


  • Ashes and Air
    January 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    awesome

    thats was very deep it touched my soul, grate decribtive words.


  • BattleOfBlood
    January 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I really like this piece, its like own of the ones I just wrote called Drown it. Ravenfeather gave me the link to this poem because of that. And I'm glad she did, its a wonderful piece. It expressed emotion and shows the picture really well. Keep on writing.
    Blessed be,
    LeFay


  • ScarletLetter
    January 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    life flashing

    life's a landing...not always clear for us to land...i feel for this poem..i really do......i've had dreams like this...and yet...they don't frighten me.
    amazing poetry here.
    l8er
    ~jess

1 - 6 of 6