I see you there
Sleeping like a haunted angel
I smell your terror
More pleasurable than your love
Ever would be
I count the times you wake up in fear
And your tortured eyes find me
And I know you have dreamed my fantasies
I laugh as you lock your windows
As you run from your car to your house
Fearing my emergence from my hiding place
I hear your prayers
You whisper them in panic
As you beg for deliverance
From my watching eyes
Every tear you cry
You cry in vain.
No one will save you.
~-~-~-~** *~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~* **~-~-~-~
I see you there
Hiding in the shadows
Your hungry eyes devour
I feel them eating away my sanity
I lie awake at night
Knowing you're watching
Fearing your fantasies
Listening to your heavy breaths
Terrified that they will come closer
You haunt my darkest dreams-
At times I wake up screaming
And you smile at my torment
As I stare fearfully into the night
You know I'm looking for you
Hoping not to find you
That my prayers have been answered
My hate for you burns
As my fear of you freezes
My blood runs hot
My blood runs cold
Won't someone save me?
Author notes
I was going to write this for my school's writing club for the suspense things we were supposed to write like in october but i figured this was more creepy than suspense.
Written January 12th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I love seeing the same thing from both perspectives. It makes the emotions all that more real feeling. The point of view from the stalker makes my skin crawl. This is GREAT!
I'm wondering how it would be, if you switched the order. I mean.. it's great like this.. giving you the creepy obsession of the stalker, followed by the fear of the victim. It just seems that the last lines,
No one will save you.
and
Won't someone save me?
would have more impact if the order were switched. Don't listen to me.. I'm full of opinions!!
Yeah.. sorry. I love the poem. Oh yeah.. and you can hit me for saying this.. but..
More pleasurable that your love - should that be than, instead of that?
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very good
I really liked this. I love how you each one talking in a different stanza. I liked the whole idea behind it, too. This was a very well written creepy poem. I really liked it. I wrote a creepy one "the prophecy" but it is pretty dark.
I really liked this..really...really -
fuckin fantastic
that was just fuckin amazing...
i loved everybit of it
the way you did the 2nd stanza was great
it was one of my fav. on this sight
i like how it was confusing
you did a great job -
hmm very good. well written. i really liked the combo of the hunter and the hunted. explicable gesture, if i dare say. very well organized, and i think it's neat!
~~infinitus -
ooooo i didn't know katie had a stalker... 0.0 lol do you think at some point i should try to put this on our website?
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Whoa. This is extremely creepy. Great, Great. I like the editing, before it wasn't as creepy as you were making it...don't ask me while. But Whoa this is awesome Aleicia! AWESOME!!! AHHH it creeps me out.
I would ..write more, but I seriously don't know what else to right. Represent!!!! This is great Aleicia, just great. *hugs* Woow......hope a stalker (Greg for Katie) doesn't do that with you! -
thanks katie
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writer's club represent! woot.
very cool poem. different from what you usually write, but I liked it. you do the whole creepy thing very well
and it would've been a good suspense thing too. well anyway good job!
peace! -
I actually didn't write a suspense... thing for the club. i'm no good at suspense. creepiness, though, i can handle you read it before i completed it, so the speaker of the first part is a creepy stalker and (now that it's done) the speaker of the second part is the person the creepy stalker is stalking creepily... yeah... we didn't have a writers' club until this fall when kasey and i decided we wanted one. we started it ourselves
went through the entire process. we had to wait a while because the superintendent went to Tokyo or something for three weeks. Anyway! i'm not sure what inspired this either lol besides writing creepy things for writers' club. Thanks for commenting!!
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Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh... wow! Really is creepy! Who is the speaker of this poem? Someone like Satan or maybe even like a creepy stalker... ? I wrote something like this a while ago, but I haven't posted it yet... it was really creepy even for me to write it. I don't know what inspired me to do it, but ya... I like how you go over both the senses which brings this poem to life and then the depth of the emotions in incredible... so which one did you end up writing for your writing club? I wish we had a writers club at my school, but oh well... I'm not sure that I'd join even if we did have one... it's not like I write or anything (except long comments on people's poetry lol). Definately a creepy poem, but a good one at that. How about for a title: "I See You"... or something creepy to go along with your creepy poem. Keep up the great work!
--Tim
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