I hope that you are happy now
You got your way again
My dreams will take their final bow
The curtain falls and then
Away the audience will file
Toward the nearest door
With my discarded hopes in piles
Like popcorn on the floor
You care not for my happiness
You only want your own
I long to feel loves sweet caress
Instead I hear it moan
In loneliness and agony
My wishes nothing more
Than cups left in the balcony
And popcorn on the floor
Now I'm alone upon the stage
My chances all are banished
I take the script and turn the page
And see my part has vanished
Without a single word to say
My life is but a bore
And all my dreams are thrown away
Like popcorn on the floor
A contest entry
- Non Winning Pre-Write/End line Rhyme Only by piccola.
600 points, ended April 12, 2008, 36 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My Favorites Only by piccola.
900 points, ended January 24, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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congrats on the silver
I really like this write. I like the rhyme of course and the story behind it. The repetition about the popcorn drives the point home and it's very visual. Thanks for entering.
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aw wow a wonderful poem I love your flow and rhyme your poem has some brilllant imagery and great emotions its brillant good luck in the contest
maralisa
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Beautiful and sad write with much emotions and meaning. I enjoyed the flow and the rhythm throughout. beautifully penned.
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Congratulations on winning the silver- a most well deserved trophy, definitely.
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SO LOVELY!!!
Sometimes our dreams do seem like the popcorn upon a stage floor, dropped and lost forever.
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Great write. I enjoyed the images and beautiful fluid rhythm and rhyme in this piece, especially the metaphor of popcorn on the floor in a movie theatre.
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A creative metaphor.... awesome imagery and talented piece. Good luck and thank you for the entry in my contest.
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This poem was awesome in all it's awesomeness! I loved the way the words came out, like a play opened up for the world to see. I'm giving you standing ovation. I hope I don't step on your popcorn as I leave the theater! Good job!
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Brilliantly written. These words gave me chills. I could feel the loneliness and despair of your character. Well done.
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This has great rhythm and flow... and the repetition works very well. I especially liked your opening stanza.
Enjoyed this, nicely done.
~ Wendy
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I love the metaphor of popcorn and love/dreams left on the floor!
"Now I'm alone upon the stage
My chances all are banished
I take the script and turn the page
And see my part has vanished "
I think what I like about this piece is the easiness of the read, it flows without being forced, nice.
I think as with alot of people the angst is relatable, and you made the reader feel the 'crunch' of the popcorn.
Heartfelt write.
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How sad. One thing I learned through lifes hard knocks is that no one else can make us happy. We can only "depend" on ourselves for that. Once we reach our own happiness, everything else in life is just icing on the cake. If we love ourselves, we then can teach others how we expect to be treated and have the courage to expect nothing less. I'm certainly not saying I've reached that point, I've not but it is one of the things on my list of things to achieve.
~Lyrical
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