Salad days and ripe sweet fruit
Running bare foot in the summer sun
Not a care not a worry
that was yet to come .
Autumn days and strength of trees
Roots so firmly planted down
Everything had its season
Lightning struck and tore it down.
Winter days so cold and lonely
Bitter sweet thoughts by fire light felt
So the darkness has taken over me
Memories lost as body wanes .
Now my life is but brief moments
Memories some clear glimpse's have I
But i am fed by total strangers
Rocking here waiting to die .
Just for a moment when a bird sings
I remember faces and the spring
When body so Young and supple
Beauty smiled and hips did sway
I remember the taste of ripe sweet fruit
and then the memories fade away.
Author notes
Written January 11th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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How i love a love story .Thanks for your lovely comment and your mum sounds fantastic .
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a beautiful thoughtful poem
Lol..I am sure this is true, for it reminds me of my mum in her later years. She was a romantic to the end and a beauty, too. She always thought of herself as a beautiful young girl and even at age 80 said she could not wear black, for it might make her look old. She had a love affair in the nursing home. Your poem is lovely and so dear.
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This is an introspective poem but is written in a way that most readers can still identify and empathize with the writer. Good stuff.
The poem falls out of form a couple of times... in the secpnd strophe the 2nd and 4th lines dont rhyme as they do in the other stanzas and the final strophe has 6 lines, rather than the usual 4... still this doesnt affect the flow of the poem too much, it's just something that caught my eye.
I do like that the rhyme scheme isnt forced... writing good rhyme is very difficult to do well.
Kind reagrds,
PB
Edited on Apr 11, 8:16 because 'typos'. -
Thanks so much for the lovely comment it is really nice that you came back and re read it .I do that with a lot of the poetry on the site depending on what mood i am in .
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I re-read this today ... I do love the way you've analogised growing old to the turning of the seasons. I know it's done pretty regularly, but you gave it a fresh, new spin. Congratulations - this was very reminiscent of minor music (and I love the feel of minor music and minor musicky poems)
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Thanks for the lovely comment glad you liked this one .Thanks for telling me about the i's too .
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Now my life is but brief moments
Memories some clear glimpse's have I
But i am fed by total strangers
Rocking here waiting to die .
wow!!! you have written this very well. may i suggest that you capitalize the i here as your name should be? thank you for commenting on my writing and in doing so drawing me to this. viyanna r langager -
Hi Tam
I am pleased you liked this ,thanks for the lovely comment . -
This is a beautiful poem. Sad, kinda, but full of hope. I love the last stanza, so beautiful. I've always thought what will happen to my parents and grandparents in the next 20, 20 years. This poem kinda gives me a mental picture of what I might be like for them. Not completely enjoyable, but durable as long as they soak in the moments when a bird sings.
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sandy thank you for your lovely comment so pleased you enjoyed it .
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Wow I loved this poem. I can so relate to it. Not in the rocking chair yet but can see it in my future. This was an amazing poem. I loved the ending lines.
Just for a moment when a bird sings
I remember faces and the spring
When body so Young and supple
Beauty smiled and hips did sway
I remember the taste of ripe sweet fruit
and then the memories fade away.
Thank you so much for sharing this poem. It was a delightful read this morning. Hope you have a wonderful weekend. Take care, Sandy
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Beautiful word pictures here!! Great job!!
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Great write very meaningful
This poem has so many meanings for me as I am constantly trying to run from the bad memories of my life as well as remember the good ones that I have had. I also have dealt with a lot of suicidal friends that I have since lost contact with and have no idea whether they still breathe, all I have is remembering how I tried to help them through their times of sorrow and pain. The poem also speaks to me because recently I have become estranged from my father whom was one of my biggest heros when I was a little kid. -
Oh thanks so much glad you liked it
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Nice representation of growing older. Well written
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thanx. I quit that kind of work because I would get attached and then come to work and they would be 'gone',,, kind of a coward I guess
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This is a veri subtly powerful piece. It's beautiful in language and composition . . . has a nice flow and is generally dead on with its rhyme scheme. You did a veri nice job with this piece!!!
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Hi Wiz it is so sad that a lot of these people do not get a visit it is if for some their parents disapeared , in a way for a lot of the time their parents have regressed forgotton who they are but then there are those times that they do rember clearly even if only for a few mins . Thank you for your comment , i admire the work you have done you have a compassionate heart i am sure
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very nice
I worked in a nursing home for a while and this reminds me of my thoughts on who these people might have been, what they might have thought...and the ripe sweet fruit ... mets in your mouth -
Hi
Thanks for having a look at my stuff too .Glad you liked it ..I haven't written anything for ages -
very well written
This is beautifully written. I feel the mood of sadness surrounding each stanza. I really enjoyed reading this one.
etherealforu 
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Thanks so much for having a look at mt stuff too .Glad you enjoyed this and thank you for the lovely comment
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Doh! I forgot to applaude!
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I really enjoyed reading this. A beautifully gentle ride
"Autumn days and strength of trees
Roots so firmly planted down
Everything had its season
Lightning struck and tore it down." - I thought this was particularly brilliant. Keep up the great writing!
mel xx
p.s. Thanks for your comments on my poem 'Wicked Game'
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Thanks anghellic shadows .
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i like it alot good poem
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I am thinking of getting the rocking chair and start on a croched blanket , there again while you still have a sway in the hips ripe fruit tastes so much sweeter .
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Hi Elizabeth thank you for your lovely comment .
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oooohhh this is so sad. Makes me think it's how I'll probably be when I get old and decreped. This is good.
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Thanks Narnia
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It is certainly not boring, so says TrueLoothy, it is unique, and it is defenitly sad! Memories fadding away, hm, i like the last part alot, once i read the fruit i could just taste it on my tongue. Great job
Good Day, a stor &heart; -
wow i loev this. i love how you went through all of the seasons and described them in your point of wiew and how you just sit and wait. this is a very good poem. keep on writing.
God Bless
Elizabeth
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*yawns*
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