I know you want to help me,
and you see the pain I hide.
You always knew me better,
and to you I could never lie. 
I'll be honest with you,
I'm sick again right now.
All I wanted was to be better,
but I guess I forgot how. 
I know that you love me,
and baby I love you too.
But times sometimes it gets too hard,
and I don't know what to do. 
I deal with things the best I can,
I put the pills and blade away.
I got to fight this with my own strength,
so I can make it through each day.
I don't want you to get angry,
or feel like I don't care.
Because baby you're my world,
and the only one that's there. 
I'd be lost without,
and if you weren't here I wouldn't try.
I need you more then you know,
to keep going in this life. 
There's days that I don't eat,
there's times the hunger pains get so bad.
But no one understands,
just why I am so sad. 
I know that to you I'm beautiful,
and that you love me for me.
But if you looked in the same mirror,
maybe you'd see what I see. 
All I ever wanted,
was to love myself again.
To feel like I can be okay,
and not worry about being thin. 
Striving each day,
for something I'll never feel.
To be so perfect,
has never been such a big deal. 
I'm sorry if I've let you down,
or hurt you in anyway.
But baby don't give up on me,
I promise I'll be okay some day. 
Author notes
It's so hard when you struggle with an ED. To be better for almost 2-3months, and then to relaps because you gained 5lbs, sucks... I don't want to be better anymore, because those 5lbs are far too much. I guess it's just the way that I think. And this ofcourse, is to my boyfriend... 
Written January 11th, 2006
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Sis, We'll get better, I promise. I know that I usually encourage you to get better and to stop doing this to yourself, but recently, I've been purging too. I love you Sweetheart and I really hope that you realize, with or without a guy in your life, you mean so much to me and others, and you are worth saving for.
As long as I am here, You will never be alone, and you will not slip away from this world, I love you far too much to let you go
Your Sara Dawn
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This is a very sad poem, and the pictures are tormenting. The one with the girl over the toilet gets to me. It's so sad that us girls put ourselves through the pain of perfection. Pop culture and media should be ashamed of what their doing to our generations.
Have faith. -
aww sweety this is such a sad poem n one that cries for help. i hope u are ok. and u know where i am if u ever wanna talk. i hate way i look and wish i could change it n lose all the weight ive put on in past 3 yrs. but seems the more i try the more i put on lol. its a hard strugle lol. anyways take acre and yep ur beautiful as u r and u will see that one day
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\This made me cry, because I hate seeing you hurting, and going through this. We all have our demons, but me and you both seem to share a common two. You're beautiful LaLa, and I truly mean that. You have beautiful outside, and beauty within... I know you've heard it from me a million times or so, but I will continue to tell you that you're beautiful, because you've become like a sister to me, and a good friend, and I hope that with time we only become greater friends. You are one of the very few who understand the things I go through. I love you hun, and I hope that you find peace in the mirror one day and see what all of us see, I know it's hard, but I just want nothing but happiness for you! You deserve it, and I know one day you'll be swimming in it
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Love you hun
Frances Lynn -
this was very beautifully written. I know people must hate me sayng that I know what its like to feel that way hate the way you look hate yourself and someone loves every piece of you. Just remember it does matter what people say to you all that matters is what you and your loved ones think so dont downgrade yourself to society's view of life. Love what you are on the inside and you will learn to love whats on the outside. (I hate being deep)
i dont know if it will help but read "Beauty Within" it by me so you dont have to search for it -
Try as I might,I cannot understand your way of thinking. If you could just be happy being the beautiful person that you are...my heart would sing for you. You are so much better than this illness that controls your every thought. I love you,Lala and to me you could never be anything less than perfect....Always.
Much Love and Prayers,
Deena
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Wow. This poem is written perfectly, but the message is a terrible one. I'm sorry for the pain and suffering, and hope someday you will realize how beautiful you are.
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Bless your hungry heart. You know what, I look at your the pictures of you and can't help but ask you "why?". Let's be honest- Like you've never asked yourself and come up short for answers yet once again. So fuck it ... Right?! You seem so perfect to my eye. I don't know you, but I do know that inside we look alot the same. I feel the emptiness and pain you bare naked in this piece. Seriously, you screamed your soul out into every word written. What a hard thing to put out on the table for your friends and strangers to eat. This is the beauty of poetry! Youre beautiful - open your eyes like never before and SEE IT!! I wan't to put a poem in your contest, but there is one I wrote that I wish you would read just on a personal basis. It's titled "whispering doubt". Let me know how it makes you feel and if you can relate. Thanks for sharing your stories.
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My boyfriend loves me for who I am... and he hates that I am sick. It's not about him, I had my eating disorder before I started going back out with him. My eating disorder came from another man, who basically killed me in so many ways... but now, I'm trying to live for myself, and I'm trying to live up to my own expectations... you know? Thank you for your comment.
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Very Emotional....
looks like you're trying so hard to be perfect for him! this poem is deep, it's so full of angst, very sad... and the sadness goes to depths in layers. there's the sadness on your face, in your eyes, in your heart. the cry is strong, yet so full of passion. and from within, you want to be true to yourself even if you feel you have the perfect love of your life...
let no one hinder you from your true self... because when you try to meet other people's expectations so much, you tend to lose yourself... dont. be happy with who you are... self satisfaction is a priority.
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great
I like this very much.I feel that the emotion is real -
this poem was fucking amazing. i absolutely ADORE your poetry. you get out everything you need to say, and you make it flow so perfectly. it makes me sad though. to know that you are going through this. i know i doint know you very well, but i do want you to get better. you dont have to be perfect to impress anyone. i want you to just feel good enough about yourself, to not have to starve or hurt yourself in any way. you're a beautiful girl. =]
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wow gurl this is so deep. i am sorry that you struggle with this ed everyday. i wish there was something i could do to make the pain go away. just know i love you my friend. this was an amazing write and dont ever stop writing bc your just awesome at it.
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SIMPLY EXCELLENT.
LOVED THE POEM ... AS IF YOU ARE TALKING. ..great write.
I applaud!
manoj -
I really love this poem. I would probably be like that except for the fact, that I have low blood sugar, so passing out everytime I didnt eat would be too obvious. I love this poem, and I can relate to it. But try to remember beauty is only skin deep, and you only truely love and know a person, when you see how beautful they are inside.
Great write.
-Crimson- -
wow...this is really deep i'm sorry that u have these feelings...and i kno it's hard for us to stop doing somethings...but i'm gonna stay outta yer personal life and just let ya know that it was a great poem...=)
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