I Sinned

I sinned. My life was so obscene
like F words you paint on those walls.
I sinned. I climbed the bald of sin
That grassless peak of soulless cold.

I sinned. I trashed myself to nix
To a zero sign, to nothing more
Than just a loner at burning Styx,
Rhyming songs of war.

I sinned. Am I supposed to live
Like this or should I change
And cut away all that mischief
From my own shooting range?

How should I know, but yes, I feel
I’ve made mistakes but what
If all this world is just surreal
And that’s all what I’ve got.

I haven’t seen another one,
And no one have. Is that
Enough a reason to poke fun
At gods and be as bad?

I guess it’s not. I know I am
So lost and want some help.
Shall I be saved or am I damned
To get nowhere else but hell?