Shh, its okay honey,
this is what daddy's do.
Its my job you know,
its to show how much I love you.
Now don't scream honey,
we don't wanna wake mommy.
Ha Ha, don't worry, it'll fit,
now this may hurt a bit...
(A grunt a heave, he moans)
(with a muffled squeal,whimpering she tears)
(on and on he drones)
(inside she screams "oh god the pain,it sears")
("he groans and shivers when hes done"
he smiles stroking her hair)
(She looks into his eyes with a tearful stare)
(smiling he thinks "this games only just begun")
Now no one need ever know,
so don't be bad.
never, ever, ever tell,
unless you wish to go with all the other naughty kids to hell...^_^
Now sleep tight,
don't let the bed bugs bite.
I'm sorry sweetie that I cant stay,
but its time for me and mommy to play.^_~
Author notes
this poem was inspired by true events accureing to someone i care about... It made me feel a bit...
Written January 10th, 2006
Option 4
A contest entry
- Pain by Alastair.
300 points, ended January 25, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sad Dark Depressing...... by Ntagatf.
400 points, ended February 23, 2007, 103 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Is A Sweet Misery by CalmBeforeTheStorm.
600 points, ended February 6, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - If You Want Comments... by RT michaels.
335 points, ended February 13, 2007, 106 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Many Options... Prewrites allowed by gothprincess7.
500 points, ended August 27, 82 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 1st Round: Anything you want......:D [[Closes in 1 hour!]] by xox-lankan-xox.
450 points, ended April 18, 2007, 171 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - pain by XxTWLOHAxx.
300 points, ended July 9, 2007, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OPTIONS (16+) - PW's are fine by Page Deleted..
600 points, ended November 17, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Move me! Anything goes. by Temprance.
450 points, ended June 10, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hard Times by Deprived-of-Reason.
700 points, ended August 8, 32 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Amaze me. by Antebellum.
400 points, ended August 2, 104 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Suicide and Pain by earthlover0915.
800 points, ended September 7, 167 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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I feel really disgusted by this, it's not your writing but the story it is about...such fathers should never again come close to a child and be locked away forever...
you wrote it from the point of view of a child which made this story even realer and heart wrenching...I can't say that much then in such poem, the content is far more important than the way of writing...
take care and congratulations on the bronze trophy
Suza
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people like that disguse me. Its painful to know that this kind of stuff goes on, and a lot of times goes on- and no one ever tells.
Amazing write,
sad evernts. im sorry this is true.
thanks for entering. -
Please go and read the rules. You forgot to put your name.
thank you.
-Kay -
OMG. my jaw dropped reading this poem. Damn this was painful to read.
Sexual abuse is so vile and horrendous, i cannot tell you how much my heart aches for the person experiencing this.
What a powerful write. No one deserves this. Thank you so much for entering. Your words scream truth and this must of been very difficult to write.
As for the poem itself, it flowed nicely and had great rhymn too.
Thank you very much for your powerful entry,
and best of luck to you in everything and the contest.
-Kay -
Brilliant in all its truth. STOP CHILD ABUSE! I give it an 8.
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It made me cry
This poem was so nicely written, the arrangement of the words makes its message all the more poignant. Great write! I'd give it an 8.5 out of ten
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Ohhhhhhhh, this is hard to read. I can relate to this, and it brings memories back, and the pain and fear of it all. You did a great job on this one...
Best of luck in this contest!
I give you a 10
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OH NO...things like this make me want to cry then i am just down right angry! unbelievable what people are capable of doing! Tho it was a good write and you made me feel two emotions...i give this a ten
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wow... thank you for entering.
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well... you've got the twisted emotions down right. Very effective. you've given us another point of view to work with, as well as kept it perfectly realistic. keep writeing! you're good...
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oh my god
this is so sad. this shows me how life is for some people. its so sad to hear about this happening let alone having it happen i cant even begegain to emagain how hard thtis hurt or if it hurt more physicaly or mentaly. im sorry this had to happen and it show so much emtion.
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Three words. Oh. My. God. I didn't expect to see this when I first opened this piece. It really broke my heart and made me want to cry. Such a bad image of a father doing that to his daughter. Ugh, the thought of it makes me sick. Nicely written though. Keep up the good work.
Love always,
Kristen ♥ -
how dark. I've had to read a lot of pieces about rape and that form of torture, but i think this one holds a place high above others. I have no doubt that this is how a lot of it happens. The background design of your page gives it an even more terrifying appearance, the title is effective, and the end is so grotesque that i can't help but feel awful. thank you, this is a truly marvelous piece. thank you for the entry.
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WOW
deeply painful write so very realistic it hurts!! One quick editing note: last line, fifth stanza... wiht ( make it with). -
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thank you
thank you for pointing that out for me and for the comment
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This was very disturbing, and yet it was a very profound poem. It is horrible that this stuff happens everyday. You did a good job in portraying so many feelings. Good job
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Sickening
I've seen a lot of this as a nurse in a behavorial center for kids. I've never thought of anything bad enough for these men. They aren't even human. Your friend is lucky to have you to confide in. The only thing I'll say is check the spelling. FATHER is what you meant I think. Good job on a tough subject. Pen on...
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thank you for pointing that error out to me.
and for commenting on my poem.
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I'll tell you who will be in hell.... this horrid beast of a man! It sickens me that so many men have gotten away with it! I and many of the friends I have had through the years have experienced this hell as wll and I tell you they will pay on the day they stand before their maker! It sure screws up a young girls life for many years to come, but with perseverance we overcome! SOrry to ramble, this just really stirs bad emotions in my soul! Best of luck to you!
Frogz~ -
WOW
this was absolutely sad and i love it this has happened to a very close friend of mine!!! its a shame that father figures do this... I hate guys like that. but you wrote this beautifully and i love it this is what i was wanting thank you for entering my contest I wish you the best of luck!!! Keep up the good work!
~tearstaindangel~
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Wow!!!
This is good and full od pain. This is what I was asking for. Great job. Good luck and keep writing.
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You made me cry
This describes years I lost, my father raped me from the time i was 6 or 7 until just three years ago, he's in prison now but it took 3 years too put him there. You know me Dean, i'm closer than you think. -
I like it
creepy yet provoking -
thank you, though you two may give me a bit more praise than Im worth.
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I thank you, but i dont feel i did very much for her, for it had happend years before i even knew she existed, the most i could do was listen to her, maybe it was enough maybe not...
incedently i thought you may like to know that this poem and my poem "If only to live for you..." are inspired by the very same person, i hope you dont mind if i dont go into detail on the other one though, it is rather a personal subject, but if you have specific questions you would like settled, then please im me with them and i will respond to the ones i can, forgive me for this and i do hope im not comeing off as impertinent... -
wow this is a very powerful poem you've really worded this well sorry for your friend it shines through this poem the hurt you must feel
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i hate perverts
especially someone that would do that to their own child... it is completely astonishing to realize that some people really just don't care
i really liked (because it made me hate him so much more) the last two lines
as i have said already ... rape can change someone's life forever. even those people around know that, even though they have not experienced it.
i really think that it was kind of you to be so supportive of your friend in her time of need.
you did good
♥'s
sosha -
Nice
uh...yikes..but wow. This is good.
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