The dark phantom laborers of night
Wrapped like a shadow blanket snow
Under the glowing moon’s eave light
Walked steps in the mist dew bestowed
Wrapped like a shadow blanket snow
Mystery came in of a bird swallow migration
Walked steps in the mist dew bestowed
Coldness from the brush leaves fascination
Her mystery came in of a bird swallow migration
Crackled leaves folded between the day’s ends
Coldness from the brush leaves fascination
Into the cocoon she hides of mystery fallen impend
Crackled leaves folded between the day’s ends
Joining into the disguise that embrace identity
Into the cocoon she hides of mystery fallen impend
The cocoon ‘s sleep on twigs blight amenity
Author notes
Pantoum
The pantoum consists of a series of quatrains rhyming ABAB in which the second and fourth lines
of a quatrain recur as the first and third lines in the succeeding quatrain; each quatrain introduces a
new second rhyme as BCBC, CDCD. The first line of the series recurs as the last line of the closing
quatrain, and third line of the poem recurs as the second line of the closing quatrain, rhyming ZAZA.
The design is simple:
Line 1
Line 2
Line 3
Line 4
Line 5 (repeat of line 2)
Line 6
Line 7 (repeat of line 4)
Line 8
Continue with as many stanzas as you wish, but the ending stanzathen repeats the second and
fourth lines of the previous stanza (as its first and third lines), and also repeats the third line of
the first stanza, as its second line, and the first line of the first stanza as its fourth. So the first
line of the poem is also the last.
Last stanza:
Line 2 of previous stanza
Line 3 of first stanza
Line 4 of previous stanza
Line 1 of first stanza
Written January 9th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Traditional Poetry by StrangerInThisWorld.
350 points, ended February 11, 2006, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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It was hard but I understand the structure of this type of poem and I think you went off it in the 2nd and 4th lines of your last stanza they do not repeat the third line of the 1st stanza and the first line of the 1st stanza.
Great Job anyway > Thank you for entering my contest!
Edited on Feb 11, 9:18 p.m. because ''. -
Thank you, this means so much to me. Haley27
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You did very well--I have never tried to write such a poem--I can tell I wouldn't be able to make it flow like it should.
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Thank you for the gracious comment and this is my first pantoum. How did I do? Haley27
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Wow--thanks for both poem and poetry lesson!
Skillfully penned!
S.I.L -
Thank you for the confidence on my poem. I appreciate all the gracious comments coming from a wonderful poet. Haley27
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Very nicely written. There is a seemingly dark edge to this writ. You mastered the form. It has been a while since I tried this form. I love the repeated lines. Excellent! Do well in the contest.
Renee
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