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Path To Peace Plundered




For we've had thoughts of grand design
yet made a lessor cog.
Still the wheel spins without control
and lands us in the bog.

 

 



Who is the genius who'll save the day
who can cease the wheels of folly?
He who'll show a better way to slow
our ventures from destructive volley.

 

 


The road is paved with good intent
yet leads us to corruption.
Peace must reign for blood be saved
from currents of destruction.

         ~~~Suseann~~~

 

 

Author notes

Revelant yet random thoughts of current state of world affairs
Less then perfect attempt to style after Ernest Hemingway's"Chapter Headings"poem;
www.nhi.clara.net/z21.htmCHAPTER HEADING
For we have thought the larger thoughts
And gone the shorter way.
And we have danced to devil's tunes,
Shivering home to pray;
To serve one master in the night,
Another in the day.

Ten Poems, Paris 1923
ERNEST HEMINGWAY


Written January 8th, 2006

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • NooNiThEWitcH
    January 19, 2006
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    a very nice poem with a very good and clear message
    i really liked it and enjoyed reading it very much

    the ending was the best part:
    "The road is paved with good intent
    yet leads us to corruption.
    Peace must reign for blood be saved
    from currents of destruction."

    it is very true, that we have everything yet we lead to its destruction and to ours as well... i suppose prayers are what will help us

    nice flow too.. keep on writing

    Nooni


  • suseann
    January 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you kind editor for reading and suggestions.I shall remove "total"for the line.It's subject matter was included in my author's notes along with a link to a Hemingway that I've attempted to copy in style only.Not subject matter.I've not done a beat count on it as yet.I felt it not far off.But will certainly do on your advice.I delibrately chose a sort work of his,to learn from.It is about the current state of the war and world views on such.Including my own.Thank you again for your treasured advise.~~Suseann

  • ecrivain01
    January 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    good job, all in all

    I'd remove "total" from the last line. This reminds me of a children's poem, aka Shel Silverstein. The subject is definitely not a children's subject however. You have dealt with it well enough, except that the meter is rough. I am not sure just what it is about this that reminds me of a children's poem, but there is definitely something. At any rate, I like it. You could almost use it as a poem for a tombstone too. I think what it does is remind me of some of those old nursery rhymes before society sanitized everything. They were full of blood and guts and gore you know. People did terrible things to each other. In the original Cinderella, the older sisters actually cut off part of their feet to try and fit into the glass slippers. Isn't that a wonderful thought? Anyway, good job, all in all.


  • Presence
    January 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This work captures the frustration so many feel with the state of the world. It seems there is always someone who has to be waving a gun or the threat of one in others faces. Yet it seems it has always been so since the beginning. Whether one believes that Cain and Able started the whole mess... or a big monkey picked up a bone and bashed his neighbor in to steal his food... there seems to be an underlying current in the world where some seem to think violence is the only way. Very sad. Thought provking write here. Wonderful job with it!


  • Puppydog gold member
    January 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    VERY BEAUTIFUL!

    I think you have put this very beautifully. I was taken with your honest yet sincere and sensitive words.

  • first force
    January 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    great write..loved the ryme..lots of imagery.and emotion..loved this verse "The road is paved with good intent
    yet leads us to corruption.
    Peace must reign for blood be saved
    from guarantee of total destruction."....great job..Jack

  • Pome
    January 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh I thought you were talking about my life LOL... so goes the world.. I really do like your poem.. its first stanza is exceptionally nice to me.. I like the pic too.. thanks for writing it and sharing.. -Pome


  • DD Sai
    January 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, great job. Very deep, i was feeling you all the way.


  • Sherry gold member
    January 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Well written my friend....Hope your doing okay. Love, Me


  • Lionheart
    January 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I liked this poem and the message it sends. "The road is paved with good intent" is somewhat over used on poems but it seems to work here. Nice write!


  • Taranand
    January 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    So true, the wheels of this world are spinning out of control.
    WHO will lead us out of our state of confusion towards the realm of clarity and peace??
    I dont know if now is an appropriate time to mention this, but I have a wonderful Teacher, Prem Rawat(Maharaji) who is working very hard at present to spread his message of peace and fulfilment to the world.
    If you find the time, Please enjoy his websites:
    www.contact-info.net
    www.maharaji.net
    www.tprf.org

    Peace and love to you, Tara

1 - 11 of 11