Written all the words to a thousand stories,
Will anyone make it to the end?
Carve the names of the worthless in glory,
Play the game to pretend.
And let the autumn bleed,
The blood of ages.
And let the lies mislead,
Upon the stories pages.
And let the young grow old,
In misery.
And let them pay the price,
Of their destiny.
The fortunes told of the end in time,
The mortal's book has reached the end line.
The words are written of a world's lost souls,
Written in the hearts of the mortals, untold.
And let the autumn bleed,
The blood of ages.
And let the lies mislead,
Upon the stories pages.
And let the young grow old,
In misery.
And let them pay the price,
Of their destiny.
The beauty, the destruction, the beginning of the end,
Another life is wasted in the game of pretend.
The story is finished, the life that they took,
The pages are written in the stories of life's book.
And let the autumn bleed,
The blood of ages.
And let the lies mislead,
Upon the stories pages.
And let the young grow old,
In misery.
And let them pay the price,
Of their destiny.
Author notes
Please Critique 
It would mean a lot!
Written January 7th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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INCREDIBLE
Wow this is so amazing! The tone you use in this makes it sound as if it's from some scripture or prophecy or something...
'And let the young grow old,
In misery.
And let them pay the price,
Of their destiny.' >>
'The beauty, the destruction, the beginning of the end,
Another life is wasted in the game of pretend.' all the lives that are taken by futility and bad decisions.
You rhythm and rhyme is so utterly perfect!
'And let the autumn bleed,
The blood of ages.
And let the lies mislead,
Upon the stories pages.' Powerful, flawless!
'The words are written of a world's lost souls,
Written in the hearts of the mortals, untold.' Really eerie, old sounding, amazing!!
I love this piece, it's one of the best pieces of writing I've ever read, really moving and true, you have some really good morals and philosophies in it, you show clear understanding and a brilliant mind, and a goodness of spirit. More people should hcome to consciousness like this. Blew me away.
Keep writing, I shall definitely keep reading!
Sarah xx -
wow. this is a great poem, like said above, the repitition (which i often find bland or misused) works fantastically here, you have amazing flow and rhythm in this poem which is hard to achieve when actually writing about something of significance. this is descriptive but not obscure and overall the poem is pretty damn good. consider: changing "written" to "write" (first stanza, first line) to match the tense of "carve" in the next line. the only other thing i would think of doing differently is saying "blood of THE ages," for me that makes the rhythm better but i dont really know. amazing poem!
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I love this poem! I like the repititious quality it has, I use that in some of my poems. I like your wording. I like your structure. I like your seemingly effortless rhyming. I simply love this poem. It could not be any better. I have read it three or four times already because I love it so much. It flows beautifully. It has ideas in it that I haven't heard before. This poem is flat out beautiful. Great work. I would applaud but I'm out of applause today. But great work, keep writing like this and I'll keep reading it.
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