Hello Kevin, Tiki here.
Allpoetry boss, are you there?
You are not at home I fear.
I'm prepared, so I don't care.
Kevin, site boss, be it known:
This site suits me to a tee.
I'm taking it for my own.
This is how it's going to be.
I'm Poet Laureate of Cat Kingdom.
I sell Cat Food, too, besides.
Fair poets, all I do is sting them.
Bad poets, I really tan their hides.
Kevin, if you come around
I will give you a cold shower.
I am who now is renowned.
I'm the one now with the power.
You are now most minuscule.
This site now belongs to me.
I'm the one who now shall rule.
I'll decide how it shall be.
Later...
I have given this some more thought.
I am letting you have it back.
It's not really what I had sought.
It's main feature is that of lack.
Why, here there is no litter pan!
Kevin, what could you be thinking?
This was built with no floor plan!
Decor so bad it keeps me blinking.
I could not run this at all.
It's beyond what I could do.
No litter pan off any hall,
If I stay here I'll turn blue.
Tiki Cat
Buy my Tiki's Gourmet Cat Food
"Too Good For Humans"
Author notes
This is a JOKE; don't call the cops! Tiki Cat "I love allpoetry.com" NOT. --Option 2-- "How allpoetry changed my life" -- for the worse
Tiki Cat ALL A JOKE, FRIENDS --Ellis
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 50 of 50
-
Clever Tiki.
-
Oh, I see. You're upset by the lack of a litterbox and the smell? I will try to spray my crap with something that smells nice, but you're looking in a public bathroom. If only there were Tiki's Gourmet People Feed . . . Then our poop might not stink.
You are funny, I like this poem. I am glad that you are letting Kevin keep the site though. He's been good at keeping it for so long now. -
Humm..you took me with your words..sometimes here..and sometinmes there..and as a child with curious eyes I was there with your travel..love it..well done...
-
lol... a classic. i wonder wot kevin thinks of it lol
hugs,
georgie,
xxx -
haha.
-
I found the fragments of this under the bed when I moved, and I've just recently understood what I have: evidence of a plot for world domination by two of the higher powers. Thanks to Ellis I now know what I've found!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"We're Taking Over the World" by Blaze and Tiki Cat
Tiki, Princess, never fear:
Blaze, swashbuckling tom is here!
Make Kevin scoot off his chair!
Stalk! Play havoc with his hair!
If he's bald, just climb up there!
Now, this always works, I swear!
Tickle whiskers in his ear
Purring very loud and clear.
You or me? Who'll swipe his mouse?
We can then up-end his house.
Give me paper: I'm an editor.
I can shred what he gets credit for.
We'll catch wild birds, and let them go
Inside: all zooming to and fro.
It's far more fine than all this quiet:
Let's start up a feline riot!
Poets running to and fro:
Paper's flying! Watch them go!
Pens, computers, poets, more
Racing all across the floor!
Taping pages, chasing pens
Rolling under sofas: dens
Of feline comfort: those strange places
Where we hide to watch their faces.
Tiki, Princess, then I swear,
The internet itself! Compare
What life was like in ages past:
They gazed at us! This stuff can't last!
When the whole internet is ours
We'll reassume great feline powers!
We'll make them all start breeding mouses.
Then we'll rearrange their houses.
Industry, and all the stores,
Stocking Tiki-Food. Their chores
Will only be to wait on us,
Attending to our tiniest fuss.
They'll tend upon our tiniest will
And throw away that other swill!
And then we'll dig our grateful paws
In litter brought by Sandy Claws.
Now, of course, I was astonished and appalled when I read this. All this time when Blaze was sitting on the tall bookcase over my head, he was reading everything, and knew, and was plotting. When reviewing this document I have noticed the unusual spelling of the words mouses, however, I have been assured, by felinologists, that this is because all these years we, we foolish humans, have gotten the plural WRONG. When they say "mow" repeatedly they are really indicating to us that they want mouse many times, and would rather be served mouse. Of course, the elegant Tiki-cat cat food is a purrrfect substitute for the venerable armchair mouser. And, in a pinch, for every cat as well. Who would not wish to substitute today's convenient feline cuisine for the rather odious problem of feminine humans jumping on chairs and shrieking, when they see what you've hunted up for them still running and fresh, although Blaze says that commotion is fun too.
-
I have a bit of a problem with this. It seems I have some matching words that I had no idea what to make of: they've been lying around since, purrrhaps two or three weeks after this happened, and I just didn't know what to do with them. They were farther under the bed than I could reach, so, when I moved I just sort of stashed them away, hoping my cats would finally tell me what this was all about. Let me see if I can make sense of all these pages and I'll get back to you.
-
4 Stars ****
Muahaha
... guess who is back?? 
hello sir .. now i have seen your devil form 
this piece is SOOOOOOO hilarious . i would have loved toread Kevin's comment .. .. but anyways.. i am quite happy to know that i am not the only one who was shocked in the beginning lol... very nice poem.. and a good concept.. and the rhymes made it funnier 
Will you please do me a favor by writing the option number in which this poem is suitable for this contest, in yout author's comment?
best of luck in the contest....
take cares and have a nice time my dear friend... just keep it up.... your humble little friend....
.... 
.... .... - vic ( who else? )
-
Oomph!
I just L-O-V-E this Comment, Snow! It is so good! It is so cute! I love, love, love it! --Ellis (Tiki loves it, too.)
--------------------------------------------
Tiki does NOT love it, too.
What on earth is wrong with you?!
I am going to have my way.
But I will ask our Kevin to stay.
He can clean my pots and pans
Carry out my full trash cans,
But All Poetry is in MY hands
Carrying out all MY plans.
Tiki Cat -
Snow: Kevin where are you? You got to see this. Tiki Cat is going to rule the world. First stop the Allpoetry.
Kevin: What is going on. What did he mean no floor plan. I spend my fortune in this website.
Kevin walk up to Tiki Cat
Kevin: Did you write this poem?
Kevin is pointing at the poems
Tiki Cat: Meow (What are you talking about)
Kevin: Don't try to be all innocence with me. I know what you can do. You write poem and your master type it. I hear all about you.
Tiki Cat: Meow (You should know cats can't type)
Tiki Cat look at Kevin in a werid way. Then next thing Kevin know is Tiki Cat is completly ignore him. Poor Kevin.
Just a JOKE!!!!! If anyone read this let's keep this a secret
Wish you the best
dreamer -
So when are you going to show this to Kevin? I'd love to know what his response would be.
Bean Sidhe -
Awww proper cute. The flow faltered a couple of times as I read it, but that could be because I'm tired.
This really captures a brilliant "awww" factor! nice one!
I have given this some more thought.
I am letting you have it back.
It's not really what I had sought.
It's main feature is that of lack.
YOu have captured the absolute bone idleness of my cat perfectly here. 10 out of 10 for originality!
Love,
Marianne xxx
-
very interesting write - cute simplistic rhyme and a slightly off rhythm but it works in a sing song sorta way. The decor is wretched - did you chose the worst bg for this simple purpose? XD great job at expression an congrats on a wonderful read that was fun an yet pointless in the end. Maybe you learned a lesson but I dont see one or at least one that isnt obvious - oops.
Edited on Feb 03, 5:08 p.m. because ''. -
Great poem! very humorous! I wouldn't quite mind if you owned allpoetry but poor Kevin, just wait till he reads this! Loved the whole thing, beginning to end. This poem is...i guess bubbly is how I would describe it, sounds sweet and kinda brightens a person's day to read. Very creative, 2 thumbs up!
~Crystal -
this was so cute!!!!! i loved it...the bouncy flow and childlike feel made the tone perfect!!!!! it was so naturally funny...awesome write...and good luck to tiki cat
-
How quickly you can change your mind, I think you made a good choice - the second time. Cute verses-
-
yes! this is really funny and you can still make it rhyme and flow. I like it alot.
-
Just the mere thought of a CAT in charge doesn't bear thinking about lol but then again he's be awake at night as I am sometimes but a tad short on versation perhaps.
Does you cr pay you to write for her?
Vonnie~ -
i don't know if it was meant but this seemed a parody of rap and the hood as in you were the king and the site was the hood i only notice this because i have studied hip hop still i like it j
-
nicley done i see you put some thought into this without losing the intinsity of a free form flow. love your since of humor and thank you for the 4 points
-
This is great.
I admit you had me going to but aha it does tickle the funnybone. But I can see my dogs taking over the puter as they call it and attempting to take the site. But alas not enough dog bones. A really cute piece here, it makes me jealous. -
Very cute. A good twist at the ending. Humorous and playful. I especially liked the steady rhythm through out and the teasing content. Nicely done.
Best Regards, Liz -
Ahahah.. I clicked on this by accident, but I don't regret it, AT ALL! xD This is an adorable idea! I thought that maybe it was slightly serious.. because, I'm not TOO familiar with the AP Heiarchy.. but, yess.. Ahah; nice touch at the end.
-
I would've brought Tiki-Cat a litter pan. Heck, I'd walk that cat on a leash ten times a day if it would bring my AP online dictionary back!!!
cute poem, Ellis, as they always are from you!
Jo -
I thought you were a weirdo too untill the end. LOl. But's it's a cute poem.
-
lol this was so funny. poor kevin though...he'll really get a fright when he reads this on a first glance that should be funny! well done!!
-
LMAO, yes I like this a lot, very funny, so here are my comments.
NO LITTER PAN OFF ANY HALL
NO WHERE TO LEAVE YOUR DREGS?
MAY I SUGGEST THEN TIKI CAT.
THAT YOU SIMPLY CROSS YOUR LEGS.
SO IF YOU STAY YOU'LL HAVE TO LEARN
TO USE THE LADIES LOO,
FOR WE CAN'T STAND THE FETID STENCH
OF TIKI'S PUSSYCAT POO!
Edited on Feb 03, 4:09 p.m. because ''. -
Pretty Good!
-
wow i was wondering if you were a psyco for a sec. but i'm glad your not.... maybe you should send this to kevin. that would be intersting. great job with this
-
I thought you were picking on Kevin, too. Glad to see it's just a joke. Funny stuff, Queen Bee. lol
-
hahahahahahahahahahaha
-
for a moment you had me going, i was like, "what kind of weirdo runs this site?" haha. i laughed at the end, then made it known to the world that 'i knew it all along.'
hehe. niiice. -
Laura Lamarca said:
" was quite shocked at first until you gave it back & I realised there was no angst between the 2 of you"
Lol whew! i thought this was serious until i read a little farther... Very funny,very good.
-Amanda -
Sometimes I wish some would.This was cute.~~Suseann
-
Funnyand enjoyable, AngelicMistress
-
Cute and clever.
-
OMG...
What an imagination you have
and the writing skills to boot
I sure enjoyed this funny write
Dear Tiki Cat, you are a hoot
Peace and light,
~Sherry~
Edited on Feb 03, 3:55 p.m. because ''. -
Toooo toooo cute and funny, lmao! Thank you so much for the smiles!!!! Bravo!!!
-
heeheehee this is really cute. Especially since I'm a cat lover. Though humorous this write has a good point......Things aren't always what they seem. And also the grass isnt always greener on the other side. But in your case we will say "The litter box isn't always cleaner on the other side". Great job very amusing.
-
You are such a funny kat! No litter pan...hahaha. Are you really a cat? I like how you had the two parts as well. Good job. Keep up the work. Don't give up! WORLD DOMINATION FOR THE TIKI!
-
Very funny! I liked it a lot. The idea of takign over the site, could you do with a partner in crime LOL? Mwa ha ha ha ha...
-
Hehehe.
Thanks for sharing, made me smile. -
Very funny , different and quirky but nice.
-
I could not run this at all.
It's beyond what I could do.
No litter pan off any hall,
If I stay here I'll turn blue.
Ohhhh i like, it is really funny. Its really good. Im in a crappy mood right now. This kinda cheered me up. Thankx -
LOL.......this is funny!! I was quite shocked at first
until you gave it back & I realised there was no angst between the 2 of you! You've described an everyday situation but in this context it's hilarious! Thanks for sharing the light hearted laughter, I very much appreciate my blue eyes sparkling Be well. La x 
-
lmao hilarious, great plotting in this poem and grips you with humour
-
this is a very good poem very funny, i think youhave done a great job on this one... a like how you started the poem with the resolution to take over the site, but once things were not going your way you backed out..lol
-
fun
i enjoyed this bit of fun...a nice, light-hearted poem. i like the way it is in two parts, starting with one who is ready to conquer all & feeling confident & good.
& then giving up quickly when things don't quite go the way you thought they would.
i like your sense of humour.
all he best with your poetry,
myron. -
Good read!
Cute, lighthearted, funny! I like this!
<<<<<<< Turning blue laughing at this! Thanks for sharing it! Susan
-
om-- guess i am missing something here. a personal dispute between you and kevin or is it all an inside joke as i am relatively new to the site. and blue is a smurf. i don't get them little critters either. this was cute but i felt as if i was reading an argument between the two of you and it made me very uncomfortable. sorry but that is honest. viyanna
Adding your comment:
1 - 50 of 50
