My poetic mind seems full again
So where are all the empty dreams and promises?
I hoped to find in this mind
My lost illusions shrouded in secrecy
This poetic mind runs down my face
Pillars of smoke and flame sting my eyes
The repetitious words parch my throat
And disease riddles my curiosity
A poetic mind replaces my confused heart
Inspiration becomes its own muse as I hunger for more
I record the impressions for further inspection
For I am now blocked by boredom
The poetic mind in me tries to relate
But I will shoot my mouth off again
My verses will speak for themselves
And my music will drown out the chaotic noise
My poetic mind seems lost again
So I am filled with something sour
It hurts to feel this pain unreal
An unfinished line twists my wonder
Author notes
These lines are how my dreams come across and how I percieve them. It's kind of hard to explain what goes on in my head sometimes, so I hope this makes at least some sense for those who can relate.
Written January 6th, 2006
A contest entry
- Escritoire: The Living Body by Stand In Girl.
300 points, ended January 21, 2006, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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very well written
You have done a great job on this poem. You express what is in your mind and your dreams with some very strong metaphors.
I really like the last line.
Ethereal Melody
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I'm not sure if you used the repetition of poetic mind for sarcasm or for something else.
The poetic mind in me tries to relate
But I will shoot my mouth off again
My verses will speak for themselves
And my music will drown out the chaotic noise
It could be taken to ways, that you think of yourself as poetic but your mouth just seems to babble on and say to hell with thinking about it, I'll just say how I feel. My poetic mind... Then again it sounds like a search for your muse, this line
An unfinished line twists my wonder
Either way it's a really thoughtful poem.. I just can't see how the dreams are related to the poem. -
Repetition enhaces this poem
A good poem; a good read; an interesting theme. The last line :
"An unfinished line twists my wonder"
is a fascinating metaphor. I always read one of my host's poems, if I can, and I have and I thank you. Lyndon. -
This is a very powerful piece. It captivates the reader from the very first line to the last. Excellent work. Keep writing I am enjoying reading your work.
T -
you really wrote a good metaphor within this poem and detailed with unique images the reader could actually sense. a very interesting poem and I enjoyed this read very much!
Jo -
awesome
wonderful write. i love the way you spin your words.. well done. thank you for sharing your words with me. keep on writing. -
My poetic mind seems lost again
So I am filled with something sour
It hurts to feel this pain unreal
An unfinished line twists my wonder
IS MY FAV line form your poem this poem is really great or AWSOME ! -
Excellent Metaphors
As is my custom, I like to read something written by the host of a contest I've entered; and, such I do today. As a publisher's editor, however, I am not easily impressed; although, I am impressed with your considerable God-given talent for weaving words into fantastic tapestries: a feast for the reader's eyes, mind and spirit. Your use of metaphor is wonderful and most appropriate for the message you've delivered. Excellent writing.
Love and hugs, B♥nnieQ
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yes a lot of good metophors in this poem mixed with lots of emotion well done keep writting
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The metaphors you use here are powerful. Coupled with the deep running emotion, this makes for a strong piece. Well done.
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I can understand this feeling very well. It is true that words are not enough to express the deepest feelings we have inside. I love the language here, great choice of words. Powerfully done!
Cheers! Eris
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I know how you feel, how its so hard to explain the things you think about some times. I'm with you on that one. This is such a wonderful poem. The repetition of "my poetic mind" or "the poetic mind" brings the peice together. Great work. Your vocabulary is extremely wide in range. Good job on that one. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece and good luck in the contest you entered this in.
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