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Flower Petals

Resting in water
The flower peacefull in grace
Ready for the waves.

Withered old petals
Lying in the dusty road
Trampled and beaten

Flower of beauty
Holding the scent of angels
Beloved of God

Author notes

I usually write my Haiku in sets of three. Not sure why, but it seems to work better that way. One is too little, and any more than three would be too much. I commented on "Counting the Moments"
Written January 5th, 2006

A contest entry

What did you think

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Aisling1221
    January 6, 2006
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    Voot! Good haikus, Allen! I particualarly relate to the second one...^_^ Anyway, it's really nice imagery. Be safe, God bless you!
    ~ ~ Courtney ~ ~


  • apples in autumn
    January 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is really cool. It kinda makes me think of an elegant version of the Discovery Channel. For some reason I read it in that overly excited yet placid voice the narrator has on that channel.
    "The flower peaceful in grace
    ....ready for the waves."
    Lol, can you imagine it?
    But I really love the imagery you create, much more depth than any informational network could ever create.
    I also admire how well you make the Haiku flow, most people don't do it right at all. Good luck on the contest!

    <3 J-me
    Edited on Jan 06, 11:25 because ''.


  • Sharcu silver member
    January 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Alright good job!
    --Tim


  • manofomens2
    January 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I fixed it


  • Sharcu silver member
    January 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! Beautiful job! I'll go ahead and get my critique out of the way. Second line in the first stanza... is 6 syllables and not 7. Just thought I would point that out to you. Otherwise, the rest of the lines are perfect. Another suggestion for this would be try centering it... I think it always makes haiku's look better and more presentable. Oh, and the background is incredible (especially how it's a free one on here, but it fits this poem perfectly). Also, I love the title... it made me wonder what this poem was about.... Awesome job... wow... I took some deep breaths while reading this... just... wow... beautiful work! Good luck in the contest!
    --Tim

1 - 5 of 5