Soft, unbroken lines
The continuity of passion
Falling apart at the seams
Surviving still beside the tale of time
Searching gently
Never exposing the want or need
Breaking apart the regions of many
Yet suffering for the impending precipice
Sun rises upon the weak
Carrying the fallen to eternity
Pulling apart the chains of spoken word
Reflecting images of certain obscurity
Author notes
Written on 4th January 2006 at 02:16 GMT
Comparing life to the grains of a wooden table.
Written January 3rd, 2006
In a list
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- trophy 1 - gold • next in list
- written for contests • next in list
- rhyme: none • next in list
- contests I am currently in • next in list
A contest entry
- My Very Own Rounds Contest - Part One by Exodus.
600 points, ended September 4, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites ;] by Kathraina.
675 points, ended October 20, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 2nd Year Anniversary by brittany.geeze.
400 points, ended November 19, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Wow, brilliant job with this piece! I love your word usage, the imagery here is fantastic. Great concept and flow!
bravo and thank you for entering
♥ kate -
Beautiful use of language. Short yet wonderfully poetic. I really do love your choice of words. Thank you
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really pretty and sad... great job. thanks for entering my contest.
Jen -
photo critique:
i love the soft focus and the lighting. the distance from the trees is also awesome. excellent depth of field...i think the lower F setting helped create the soft focus? anyways it's great!
poetic critique: i enjoyed the poem with the photo. nice balance and perfect choice! -
Nice job!
Beautiful use of imagery! I like the flow of this piece. My favorite stanza is:
Sun rises upon the weak
Carrying the fallen to eternity
Pulling apart the chains of spoken word
Reflecting images of certain obscurity
I think you have done a nice job with this piece. Debi -
this was perfect . . . exactly what I was looking for . . . as of now . . . I can't promise you first . . . but I can say that you have impressed me! Keep penning . . . keep sharing . . . and much luck to you in the contest!
Maggie
Edited on Mar 15, 12:47 because 'spelling'. -
good
Hey that is really good. i do like. -
Beautiful piece and picture. I must agree with the above. Short but with powerful imagery. Everything was so vivid. Amazing job on this.
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A
awesome job! beautiful job!
lol...
I agree with SHERANDA05
it had beautiful imagery and it was very vivid
it painted a wonderful picture for me and the picture you provided fit this poem so well! nice job! keep up the good writes!
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Beautiful imagery. I enjoy reading a poem with vivid imagery. I encourage you to keep what you are doing.
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Growing up, i used to have a favorite tree i liked to climb and at the top there was a groove i could fit in and it made me feel like the tree was cradleing me, so when ever i felt sad and hurt, i would climb my tree. It is gone now, but the memories are still there. You have a beutiful poem and i am glad i read it. Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work.
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short but beautiful fullof imigary and it flowed like a river
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after reading your comment i read the poem again. it made me think of my grandmother's kitchen table. it was very, very old with lots of history. if that table could of talked it would have tried to say what you just did.
nicely done
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Wow! Beautiful imagery in this piece, I loved it. I love an author who can say so much with so little. Your diction was really impressive in this poem and you did a great job painting pictures with your words. Wonderful job, keep it up!
~*~Always let creativity flow from your pen!~*~
Southern Belle -
excellent!.
Beautifully done, and so imaginative!,...As always, excellent and you rose yo the challenge!..Lynda
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Beautiful imagery... made me want to lay flat against the polished worn wood and rest in nature's weary arms of forever etched in the rings of time...
Most excellent my sweet!
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
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