[private] yeah, so, i kinda feel like crying. whatev.
I'm scared to ask again, because a single word from you could shatter me just like before. I wear a mask every time I meet your eyes, but I'm sure you can see right through it; right through me. I've never been as invisible as I am when we're with them; though even alone, we're nothing but platonic. You'll remember your heart when that itch comes around once more - I've got the only nails that can scratch it, and you're the only one with nails sharp enough to make me bleed...
Damn you, you raised hopes and then left them to die. Amidst all my confusion, you hit it and quit it. Where'd the boy go who told me he'd always be here waiting for me? He drowned in his lies.
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Written December 24th, 2005
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i don't think he's gone, jj. i still really don't. it can take a long time. this is beautiful. i haven't been here in months...i want to start writing again. i don't think i even know how anymore. i'm not depressed...i was always better when i was depressed. i had some decent stuff the first time i fell in love with jeanette, though...maybe i'll try again. this was more of a vent than a write, but still good stuff. i wish i knew what to tell you/do for you.
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wow.... im sorry to hear that... that sounds really fucked up what someone did.... great write you have here.... keep it up jess
Charlie
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