I
am
sitting
quietly,
listening for the
quiet noises in the darkness,
ghostly images flying between the tall pine trees,
illusion created by the mind, made by shadows, the brain playing tricks on itself.
It sits there, the raven, black as night, looking at me with its dark eyes in the dark night. Inspiration comes. Words form in my head. Evermore.
© Jim T. Henriksen
January 3rd, 2006
Author notes
A little poem inspired by Edgar Allan Poe´s poem "The Raven".
Fibonacci is a non-rhyming style that uses fibonacci numbers in the syllable count: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, ... The poem should have a minimum of six lines, but could have more. The difficulty increase for each line, as each line has the number of syllables matching the next fibonacci number...
If you wonder what the next fibonacci number is, add the two previous numbers. (21 + 34 is 55, 34 + 55 is 89, etc.)
Written January 3rd, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 43 of 43
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Awesome! I love how you managed to follow the Fibonacci sequence, but you didn't make the poem all about that pattern
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Hi, Raist. I chose to use the word "Evermore" instead of "Nevermore", as it fits better, and still is a strong referrence to Poe. Nice to hear you think this could have been Poe's own words, that means a lot to me to hear... Thanks for the wonderful comment, and the heartwarming applause!
Jim
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I couldn't help but think that the last word should have been "Nevermore" as a reference to Poe, after all you have introduced the Raven staring at you here after all and it would almost me as if the speaker themself is reminded of Poe and it could be his words forming in their head.
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Hi, Debi! You seem to be amazed by my work. I am but a humble poet with an urge to try out new forms (and old forms). Keep the brain active, I say! Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it, my friend!
Jim
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Great imagery!
Wow! I was impressed with the wording alone... the form is amazing! Great imagery! Another fine write, my friend!
Debi
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Hi, Nena! No, I looked through the messages, and it seems like you haven't commented on this before... I am glad you like the form, it's quite interesting, and you can see in a fibonacci poem if the flow is right, even if it's not built up in regular lines... How wonderful that you have found inspiration in Inspiration Comes!
And the image was just perfect, I search Google image search till I find what I need, and this time it was perfect. 
Thank you for your wonderful comment, and your heartwarming applause! Jim
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Amazing Work!
Okay I read this when you posted it and I thought I commented on it but I guess I didn't... I probably got busy doing something else but here we go. First, I would like to comment about the poetry format you used here... it is first for me and I believe it is a wonderful for... I might have to read about it and get to work on it, if I can.
I truly enjoyed the message on this poem, very dark yet I found inspiration in it... I loved how you used the crow in your picture and background it gave it a special effect... Overall Jim, I loved your poem. Awesome write! Thank you for sharing with me and for the wonderful gift of your magnificent pen. Blessed be, Nena
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Hi, Renee! Yes, I'm like a box of chocolate, you never know what you gonna get... LMAO! I checked your Fibonacci poem, and it's awesome, you should try out other rare styles I write, like Hrynhenda, a style the bards of the Vikings used. Read Viking Tribute at allpoetry.com/Poem/1510894 - Oh, yeah! And thanks for the comment! Jim
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OMG! Please don't tell me I stumbled across another form I am unfamiliar with just because I wanted to see what your style was like. This is brilliant! I shall give this a whirl as well. What a wonderful day I'm having getting to know you.
Renee
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Hi, Shahrzad! Thanks for telling me, I just had a comment from her in the poem/column To Write a Monchielle. Either she's quick, or she had one ready. I should start making a list of other peoples Monchielles. Thanks again! Jim
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Sorry..I can't send to you IM..so have to send you this message in this way
Finality (Monchielle)by abstract dreamer.Read this piece please,it's been written by one of your fans. I read it very accidentally.
Shahrzad -
Hi, Kitty! You have knowledge of the Fibonacci sequence? Cool! Maybe I will see one in this style from you soon, then? Thanks for the comment, and the applause! Jim
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Ah ha. So people are now writing poems aaccording to the Fibonacci code. Hmm...interesting. And an oustanding write here Jim! Great work! Keep it up!
One love,
Kitty xoxoo -
Hi, Benjamin! I guess you are right, if it follows the Golden principle, it looks right. In fact, I think that it looks right if it follows any "irrational number", i.e. pi, phi, e, and the square root of two. I don't know if the Golden number occurs in the horses trotting, or in the human hearts beating, but it certainly occurs many other places. In what way do you mean that my poem reminds you of time elapsed photography? Now I got intrigued, tell me more...
Also, I got this poem on the GoldenNumber-page that you have link to on your page.
Thanks for the comment, my friend! Jim
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SH, I am delighted with the poem and form. I am very intrigued by fibonacci and think it is the key to the definition and unconcious standards of beauty to humans. If it follows Golden principles, it just looks right. I haven't checked, but I suspect Fung shue (sp?) is .618 dependent. I have just begun to recognize original fibbos in nature... a horse walked by and I realized that the clop CLOP clop CLOP was occuring at the golden mean in time interval. A healthy human heart at rest lub DUB, lub DUB the second valve closes at the golden mean of the first valve to first valve interval. The shape of the poem reminds me of time elapsed photography.
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Hi, Trapped-inside! I am so glad you liked my poem! Thanks for the comment, and the applause! Jim
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great!
hey I really like the way this poem is written. I have never come across it before, its really cool and intruiging! I am going to read some more of your poems! -
Hi, sis! I've been discussing the problem about the long lines with Di, and we came up with that the long lines that would break, should be split up, and put in seperate "stanzas"... I was thinking maybe it should be splitted into Fibonacci series syllables per line. I will attempt doing so with this poem. Thanks for the comment, the standing ovation, and the applause! Big hugs to you and your husband! Jim
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Hi, Shahrzad! Yes, it was Poe's "The Raven" that inspired me to write this. Thanks for the comment, and the applause! Jim
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Hi, AngelicMistress! Thanks for an excellent comment, and a heartwarming applause! Jim
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Hi, Sandy! Thanks for the comment! Jim
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Bravo!!! Bravo!!! Bravo!!!
Jim, What a poet to take your inspiration from. Not Poe, me!!! Just kidding. You certainly went over the top here. However, it kills me that we can't make the longer lines stay on just the one line. I did notice a couple of extra periods in that last line. Can we do this within this form or is it like starting a new line? Let me know as I am curious. The work itself is another brilliant piece penned by my brother, whose muse just never quits. You never cease to amaze me and I am proud to have you as my younger brother. Thank you so much for sharing this artwork with all of us. You of course get a standing "O" from sis to go along with her applause. 
Love and blessings for you and the family. 
Joyce
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hi dear Jim.This is a great poem.It reminds me of Poe's "Raven".A great job.
Shahrzad -
AWESOME JOB!!!!! ENJOYED IT!!!!!
This is a beautiful Write, Jim..... The words are awesome and it's imagery is outstanding,great job, poet..... Indeed! -
Wonderfully done, my friend
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Hi, DancingRed! I am glad you liked my poem! Thanks for the comment! Jim
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Hi, Disturbed Prodigy! Thanks for a deep analysis of my poem, it may very well be that situation Poe was in when the inspiration found him, in bed. Thanks for the comment! Jim
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You don't bother me, ewanme. It was quite interesting to read your poem, and your comment here really got my brain working! Thanks! Jim
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The Fibonacci series is great, and it holds many mysteries. Maybe more mathermatical wizardry can be pulled out of Fibonacci's hat.
Don't worry, you burst no bubbles.
Thanks for the comment, ewanme! I really appreciate a good comment.
Jim
Edited on Jan 03, 7:16 p.m. because 'Math was never my piece of pi...'. -
Hey, this is a great style - it's so neat! I loved the imgery this poem has too, I think it's all very clever the way you've fitted this poem together. Well done!
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thsi is a sweet style and i like the poem, to see what may have inspre poe to write the raven, this is golden. i live that poem and i like this one. i can see it in my head to laying in bed and seeing a raven fly ouside, thinking never more, keep it flowing.
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Me again:
PS I have even written a viola piece using this form. Again I used the form forwards and backwards as well as using the sequence with a sequence device to keep the basis of it clear.
But anyway, enough already, I will bother you no more. -
Saw the word fibonacci and had to click. I wrote a poem that used fib form about 3 years ago which I posted on this site about 4 months ago. It used the form forwards and then backwards. Its subject was the idea of exponential rise and then decay, hence describing its own mathematical basis. I literally just deleted it and all my work, but for you it is going back on so please check it out.
Any good idea is thought of by many people all at once. But I have to say I beat you to it! There are many more possibilities with this form and other maths orientated forms. This is an avenue that is yet to be fully explored, and I agree ought to be...
About doing an 89 or even more syllable line, then maybe you could have a fibonacci sequence within the sequence...ie 89=55+34
=34+34+21
=34+21+21+13
=34+21+13+13+8
or even 89=34+21+13+8+5+3+2+1+1 +1.
The one hitch with this is the need to repeat one entry and so you end up with the extra +1 at the end which is necessary to get the 89.
But I must say that by 89 it becomes questionable as to whether the reader feels the fibonacci rhythm or whether it is just an accademic excercise. Because the beauty at the start of the form is that you do feel the rhythm of each line growing. For example it is best to read my poem as if each line should take the about same amount of time, which means that the middle lines will have to be said very quickly. My concept of the form is strongly acousticly orientated.
Anyway, hope no bubbles have been burst, you have found a like minded poet.
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Hi, Elizabeth! Long time no see! Yes, the mind is a mysterious thing, that we will never be able to understand completely. Thank you for the comment, and the applause, my friend! Jim
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Thanks, deercatcher! I took a look at that site, and it's quite interesting. Semper Phi! Jim
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Dark and Thoughtful
This is dark and eerie as the mind empties and fills up again.Excellent imagery and applaud the style which is very hard to execute.We really have no control over the mind and its tricks.Sorry to have been out of things for so long!All the best for the New Year dear friend.Elizabeth -
Check out my poem Golden; its also fibbonacci inspired. Its 16 lines long, the 6 line shortest, 10 line longest. Divided by 2, that is a 3, 5, 8 feature. Its shape is organic and fits in a golden rectangle. You should go to my home page and see the web site featured there and get in touch withthe webmaster. there is a poetry section devoted to poems inspired by fibbos. Yours would look good there.
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Hi, Reenie! I am glad you liked my poem. Yes, the mind can play some pretty scary tricks on us, and that is what I believe is what inspired Poe to write The Raven. Thanks for the comment, and for the applause! Jim
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not only does the form warrant applause , but so does the sort of realistic eery feeling that you word so well...when all is still at dark , and we just sit there empty of thought , until as you say the mind starts playing tricks in the shadows. Odd eh that at the same time the mind is so powerful that if we will it it would be able to turn the darkness into beauty with stars and moonlight. I guess it all depends on the frame that it is in at the moment. Really liked the form ( again , I am unfamiliar with it) but it looks like quite a challenge. Take care , and I hope the New year will be a good one for you and yours
reenie
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Hi, Di! Glad you liked my poem!
You're going to post one with 89 syllables on the last line?!! I have to see that! Maybe there could be a better way of making the long lines right, as they can tend to break into several lines... Maybe each line should be seperated with a blank line, from the line where it breaks... What do you think? Thanks for the comment, and the applause! Jim
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Hi, very good my friend I am about to post one that has arrived at 89, talk about wheeeew, makes you use your mind, loved this write, you have my applause, a big hug Di
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Hi, Roz! I am glad you liked my poem! Thanks for the comment, and the applause! Jim
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Love the imagery this one brings to mind...and you do such a wicked job with this form too. Well done, it's a pleasure to read.
Roz.
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