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Twisted Romance

You murdered the one I loved; I hated you for it
But every time I got close, you'd twist it around
and fucked me up more than I wanted to admit

You think it's funny when I have an angry fit
You don't care about anything but my mound
You murdered the one I loved; I hate you for it

I was sick of your games and all of your shit;
fucking me up while you destroy another town
and fucked me up more than I wanted to admit

And now I have you, but I'm losing my wit
even though I could kill you without a sound
You murdered the one I loved; I hated you for it

This inner fire that your icy eyes have lit
burned and screamed within me, knocking my will down
and fucked me up more than I wanted to admit

I wondered why I couldn't kill you, then it hit
You were the new love that was to be found
You murdered the one I loved; I hated you for it
and fucked me up more than I wanted to admit

But I fell in love with you anyway
and there's nothing I can do about it now

Author notes

Villanelle - AbA2 abA abA2 abA abA2 abAA2 rhyme.

I added the last two lines to make it sound finished. X3
Written January 2nd, 2006

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    I plan to revise this poem, please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    January 9, 2006
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    Thank you for your comment.

  • Heavenly Angel
    January 8, 2006
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    It's different..definetely but I think you showed a unique talent and that's what poetry is all about; bringing about the uniqueness in one's psyche. Well done!

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    January 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    At least I used fuck tastefully? =3

    But yes...I had to keep changing the repeated lines to make it fit okay, though I don't think this one's as bad as my first two. Certainly not. But oh well. x_x

    Thank you for your comment.

  • Victoria of Aragon
    January 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    ~Z Snap; hip slant; smacked her lips and whatnot.~ This is such trash. You said fuck, like, so many fucking times. What's wrong wit' choo'? =\

    'Kay.. Now that I have THAT out of my system.. ~Cough, cough.. Giggle.~ I do agree that this isn't the best Villanelle you've written, but I think I speak for the both of us when I say this form is.. Mean. x x; And has a way of destroying what you WANT it to say.. And.. Yeah. x x;

    It is a pretty decent recap of everything, though, which is a good thing. ♥ And.. Uhh.. I can't think of anything else. =3 Very lovely, though, darling. ^ ^;

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    January 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I don't think this one turned out as well as others I've written, but thank you for your comment, darling.

  • Yunaleska gold member
    January 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Yep. those last two lines finish it off perfectly. This is such a disturbing story but has a sweetness to it with her falling in love with Zon...which makes it all the more disturbing in a way. I love your villanelles. Great write once again.
1 - 6 of 6