Our equivalent to lumberjack in Australia is Axeman, or timber cutter.
Iron bark is a very tough hard hardwood and when weathered is impossible to nail unless a hole is drilled first.
Below the wild New England ranges, where the Richmond wends its’ way,
a timber cutter lay resting peacefully, on a cool bright summer’s day.
Carefully perched upon his greying head, was his battered akubra hat
shading out the scorching glaring sun, in the peaceful habitat.
For he had done the final honing, of his favourite competition axe,
after training for the Royal Easter show, so now he could relax.
He had shoulders huge and powerful, and a beer barrel of a chest,
and with arms as large as tree trunks, this mighty man was blessed.
He watched some children playing, on the creek bank gouged and steep,
noisily throwing skipping stones, across the sparkling waters deep.
For the water running against the bank, had made it give away,
under the shade of a huge ironbark tree, its roots bared in tangled array.
When suddenly a strong wind blew up, causing it to rustle and to lean,
and he watched in disbelief as he knew, what this would clearly mean.
He jumped up on his feet and shouted, to the children loud and clear,
then ran to them as fast as he could, for their safety was his fear.
The tree smashed down with a mighty crash, leaves were flying all around,
he heard the noise echo back and forth, underfoot was shaking ground.
He saw the girl safe and sound, standing there on the bank’s white sand,
and stared in disbelief, for under the trunk, was a protruding child’s hand.
He knelt down beside that outstretched hand, with panic rising now,
the little boy was pinned between two rocks, and had blood upon his brow.
Those rocks had taken the brutal force, but he was pinned both hard and fast,
and the axeman wondered just how long, the unconscious boy would last.
He asked the little girl to go fetch help, from the homestead upon the hill,
for the task ahead needed concentration, and all his many years of skill.
He lay a blanket over the small limp form, pinned under that ironbark tree,
and went and got his favourite axe, and pulled the leather scabbard free.
He swung the sharp axe overhead, above that small body pinned tight.
It bit into the trunk with a ringing bite, bark and chips flew left and right.
His rhythmic pace was fast and strong, from chopping all his long life,
and vowed he would never stop before, the boy was safely out of strife.
The homestead staff gathered quickly, at the news the little girl had told,
and promptly harnessed up the bullock team, their hearts were icy cold.
As they mounted a small rise, overlooking the tree lined river below,
they saw an even flashing pulsing light, shining like a signal mirror might.
They thought the man they’d seen camped, by the river clean and fair,
was sending a signal to the spot, so they could quickly hurry there.
They ran as fast as legs would go, never easing in their rapid pace,
for now not far ahead of them, was the finish of their desperate race.
Then breasting the top of the river bank, they paused and all stood lax,
for the flashing pulsing throbbing light, was sunlight shining off an axe.
They saw the axeman desperately swinging, at that ever expanding gap,
his breathe was rasping in large gasps, his strength was starting to sap,
but he’d never ease the frightful pace, ‘til he’d cut the trunk right through.
Then the trunk began to creak, as the two ends started to slowly skew,
so they shackled a chain around the butt, and led the bullocks to pull it free,
as the axeman raced toward the boy, and knelt down upon one knee.
He gently lifted the small still form, in arms still quivering from the strain,
and gently carried him to a grassy spot, to see if he was injured or in pain.
The boy opened his bright blue eyes, and smiled up at the big kind dial,
and gave a affectionate hug and grateful kiss, that made the axeman smile.
But the effort of that long desperate fight, had torn the axeman’s heart,
and he pitched face down upon the ground, his smiling lips were still apart.
I often think of that unselfish act, from a stranger no one really knew,
and a simple funeral on the Richmond’s banks, where the mourners there were few.
And tears well up in my eyes when I recall, the axeman who cut through that tree,
For the little boy whose life he saved that day, thanks to him was me.
.
Author notes
Another of my picture poems that tell a story. For those people inclined to race for their dictionaries Axeman is a legitimate word used commonly here in Oz. We never use lumberjack. An iron bark tree is a hardwood tree that gets harder with age. Weathered ironbark has to be drilled before you can hammer in a nail. Ridgy-didge, fair dinkum.
option2
In a list
A contest entry
- Give me your best ! by vasi.
700 points, ended March 10, 2007, 123 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Calling All Rhyming Story Tellers! by Sgt B.
525 points, ended May 28, 2007, 26 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Points to be Added (enter enter enter enter) by lexie like woah.
1250 points, ended August 12, 2007, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Please Give Me Your Best Children's Writes, Pre writes allowed by tawk.
700 points, ended September 10, 2007, 40 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell Me a Story by Lime Ocarina.
700 points, ended April 22, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 62 of 62
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This really is a fascinating story written masterfully.
Thank you for your entry, and best of luck!
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its pretty good but i saw the ending coming
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Wow what an amazing story. Wow I wonder if it was based on what happened to you? Great imagery and emotions throughout. I so enjoyed reading. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest
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this should of got first in points to be added.... by far the best in the field.... wonderful story, curious though.. is it fact or fiction? awesome either way but just curious
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i think im about to cry this was an amazing write, i love it and if you dont place in my contests, i shall shoot my self in the head! keep on trucking and thanks for entering
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Hi! Thanks for your entry. This is a very good poem. The only piece of criticism I would have is that the universal comma in the middle of the line is a distraction. Your metre is very good, so the poem would flow as well without the comma as with it in most cases.
Thanks for entering. -
Cannot comment right now ...words fail me.......
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Superb! What a fantastic and touching tale! Beautiully woven, catching flow and heartwarming story. Very good descriptions. Thanks for this excellent entry.
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Congratulations Bazza on your well deserved Gold I loved this first read and I have not changed my mind since Well done Mate
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Loved this tale
This story is written so well. I loved the rhyme as it actually helped the story being told & didn't miss a beat. The flow was effortless & free of obstacles. I can relate to this story living here in a Logger town Of Flagstaff, Az. NAU Lumberjacks.
Thank you for sharing this tale. I enjoyed the tale immensely
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An endearing write with some great imagery. I always admire people who can write a poem this long and keep the rhyme up and neat. A lot seem to start wearing out by the end but you continue strongly throughout. I also enjoyed the story. It does a good job of eliciting tension and relief at all the proper moments. And I'll have to go read about those ironbark trees. I know it isn't the same species but there is a type of tree here in Texas called a bodark that seems rather similar. Thanks for the entry and good luck!
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This was well written and very intersting, a gripping and awsome story. Message me if you want your score, make sure to include the name of your poem. Thanks for entering.
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I found this an interesting, entertaining story.. I like 'story poems'... and you did this one wonderfully! I appreciate the fact that the boy was saved... love happy endings...
Well done on this!
~Melissa
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Thanks for the comments, but this was only my second picture poem and I have resisted my subsequent inclinations to change it as a measure or yardstick of my 'improvement' and experience. One day i will rewrite it and clean it up but still keep the original for nostalgic reasons. The tautologies are done on purpose (rightly or wrongly) for added imagery and feeling. I don't have a rule book for writing poetry and have never been able to buy one.
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What the nominator thinks - This piece is by Bazza. He is the most incredible story teller on AP (in my humble opinion). This is one of many great tales he tells. I'm sure you will be riveted. Amazing tale told superbly well
Congratulations! This poem was nominated as one of the two best poems on this site for a favourites comp run by D P Robertson. You were nominated by WelshDragon.
What I thought - Getting passed the obvious tautologies like “hot glaring shining sun” “The tree smashed down with a mighty crash” “to see if he was hurt or in pain”and the words turning due to forced rhyming options “sparkling waters deep” “for their safety was his fear” and of course the ubiquitous clichéd heart string tugger ending,
“And tears well up in my eyes when I recall, the axeman who felled that tree,
For the little boy whose life he saved that day, thanks to him was me.”
And although its not Lawson or Banjo it is pretty serviceable it what it setting out to achieve and it does have a reasonable ridgy-didge feel to it. But above all else it is fundamentally a good story and on that basis the rest will hang with the skill of the writer. On the whole the meter hangs in there but I would suggest you edit for phonetic changes to smooth out the flow even more and not to paint yourself into a corner with word choices or in this case, lack of word choices. But in the back of my mind is the fact that good Bush poetry sounds a hell of a lot better read by someone with a fair dinkum Aussie accent and this thing would go over well in a crowded pub at the back of Bourke- in is this case Mansfield. That said, I think such a crowd would have heard this story in one form or another since conception – in fact every culture on earth has these type of “Big Bad John” stories. But it has been reasonably well penned.
David
Edited on Sep 27, 8:41 because ''. -
You know it is funny really. I have performed that poem quite a few times and yet when I get to those two lines I almost break up. Lucky it ends there .... lol But that is the power and intention of my picture poems for I control the audience and do all teh work. All they have to do is sit back and turn the brain on.My basic idea of poetry is "A poem that is lived while it is read is a success but a poem that doesn't is merely a string of words." and "The poet should do all the work .. not the reader". lol Thanks dear Tessa for such lovely comments and applause too as nothing pleases a poet more than to be read. There are many stories The Drover from Kyalite and the lines of Scottish poems but my favourite is
allpoetry.com/Poem/1998435 because I have these powerful glimpses of Scotland and so maybe it is because of my Scottish ancestors ... but I cannot explain it so just accept that it is imbedded in my genes.. -
Wow...Simply wow...I am at a loss right now...I can't believe I haven't read any of your work previously...This was amazing but the line that actually brought a tear to my eyes
And tears well up in my eyes when I recall, the axeman who felled that tree,
For the little boy whose life he saved that day, thanks to him was me.
Perfect...
Thanks for sharing
Tessa -
Wow. An excellent write. Flow is perfect, rhyme, superb. Told a very vivid story, leaving the full image in my mind. Impressed I am. Very impressed.
Thanks for entering
Storm -
aah thanks mate for the applause and lovely comment. I apologise for keeping you up but now that we have been able to read each other's work, I am more convinced that we have very similar tastes and opinions in the poetry we write. I have been worried for a long time but after much resarch I have found that most of it is Rhyming Free Verse and probably is more legit than the free verse currently being offered. You've made my day so I am going to bed now. Thanks again. Barry
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Bazza it was a pleasure to be forwarded to this one by you.A wonderful picture poem that even without the rhyme would have made for enjoyable reading That you chose to do it with rhyme make it far more impressive to me But then again my preference is to rhyme.I had the feeling at the end Of an old song from way back Called "Big John" He to gave his life for others A joy to read
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urehooked, thanks kenny that's what I mean by a 'picture poem' enough bragging now. I loved your Harley poem as I have ridden bikes a lot too but not anymore as the young women are too aggressive and 6 inches of the rear tyre at highway speeds on wet roads is too much for me ( and that is generally while they are putting makeup on too ) They just dont realise what one small bump will do to a bike at those speeds.
Thanks mte for the applause and rich comment. Thought you would enjoy it .. thanks mate. -
fantastic writing
Wow,what a story my friend,i think i could safely say that this is the lovliest piece of writing that i've read on here.I was so engrossed in this story,it's totally amazing and i thank you for sharing this with me.Superb.Kenny -
I am embarrassed now for "blowing my own trumpet" but it was natural to feel you would agree with general opinion, and secondly this sight is for the promotion of one's work.
I have a feeling I can't understand regarding Scotland and I suppose in reality it is just the Dreamer in me, or maybe something inherited. Who knows?
Naive style ?? I have to work that out.
You see I am just gaining confidence for I have been wondering for some time if what I write can be considered as poetry and so am hesitant to submit, but my research indicates that it is Rhyming Free Verse which is a legitimate form and so I have been very slowly gaining confidence.
I am writing my own book with each poem illustrated (those portraits are all my paintings) even if I self publish, but it is so that my Grandchildren will have something to remember me by as my sons are not interested in poetry at all and so have not even read any of it, or are likely to.
The Axeman remains mostly unedeited or unimproved as it is my benchmark ofmy original early 'skills' be that what they may.
Thank youfor your comments.
Barry -
Bazza, thanks for blowing your own trumpet and leading me to this one. What you don't do to convince me on the subject of Scottish history you certainly do when it comes to plain tales from the outback. This stuff just works - straightforward story-telling. Ok so it's a naive style, but that's just right for what we have here. Bloody marvellous, mate.
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........wow....
thanks for entering my contest
~mira~ -
I knew that if I told you, how truly great you were, you would send me to a path much greater, and I was right. This one is just as good as the last, but at the end I must say I was sad. That is how the excellent poets get to me, and I could ramble on, and on about my favorite ones. However, they are not on this allpoetry site, they are in my old dusty books that have been dusty for to long.I think I will pull them out tonite, and listen to thier song. Thanks......looking glass.
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Cupcrazy thank you for such a lovely comment.
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What a beautifully constructed piece. The emotion and story are so real and it reaches in and steals your heart. Excellent writing!
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Thanks for the great comment. Most of my poems are "picture poems" as I call them. All the work is done for you so all you have to do is read and let your mind form the picture. Others like this are The Drover from Kyalite, Robert's Ride, Wendy etc.
The Drover from Kyalite. allpoetry.com/poems/1731036
Robert’s Rapid Ride. allpoetry.com/poems/1737436
I hope you enjoy these too, but most of my work tells a story with a picture. -
I almost cried! Did this really happen?? It evoked such emotion, I can't tell you. Thank you for sending me this link. You could publish this in a children's magazine or something. I loved the story! thanks so much.
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Fantastic
I'm sorry that I have to DQ your poem...upon visiting your homepage I see that you have won some trophies...but I am glad that you entered my contest because it gave me the chance to read your fantastic work. I will definitely give your other works a read and I applaud this one wholeheartedly. All the best, James
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Thank you, glad you enjoyed it. Some of my others may appeal too.
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A very beautiful story presented in this poem. I enjoyed the chance to read this. Thank you for your entry and best wishes in the contest. James
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Extremely emotionally powerful. You've told an excellant story here, one that really pulls at the heart and keeps the reader's interest the whole way through.
Great job! -
This is a truly wondrous tale, told with briliant imagery and feeling. I felt, however, that there were points where the meter failed, due primarily to redundant description ("hot glaring shining sun" as an example). Thanks you for sharing this beautiful saga.
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This is a little long but very well put together. I think in time you could add things here and there but very well put together. gj
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5th line 'his favourite' there's an extra space between 'his' and 'favourite' don't think it's on purpose. It's easier to fix it in 'plain' text than in 'rich' if you're a gold member.
Same with the 2nd line in the 2nd stanza 'throwing skipping' an extra space between the two words.
Last line of that same verse 'his fear.' an extra space between 'his' and 'fear'.
In this line 'His breathe was rasping in large gasps, his strength was starting to sap.' 'breathe' would be 'breath'.
This seemed to be a forced rhyme at the end:
'And gently carried him to a sheltered spot, to see if he was hurt or in pain' -- only 'cause you say 'hurt' first. If one is seeing if they are hurt it would most-likely be 'cause they are in 'pain'. So, that's why I feel it's a forced rhyme. Perhaps if you removed the word 'hurt' or subsituted it with another word that would exactly mean or be variant of 'pain'.
It's a good story. I don't read too many contemporary pieces that tell a story, nor do I write too many myself these days. It's a good piece, the errors need to be fix, if they are errors and I feel they are and I also fill you have a lot of what is called 'filler' words. Words that don't really need to be there to tell the story and you have a lot of them in most of your lines. A good readthrough would be something I'd also suggest.
Again, a good piece that you have written here.
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this was so refreshing to read and brilliantly wrote. I really enjoyed the read, thanks!
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Wonderful
When I read your poem I had tears streaming down my face by the end. It was beautifully written. I only hope one day I write half as well as you did in this poem. GREAT job. -
Fantastic
Very nice, and a good story! I think it's a little long to read, but quite worth it! -
a lot to read but its worth it!
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A new Paul Bunyan type story but more human. Not so mythologically based. I loved the ending. Thanks for your defintions in your comments. They helped. Thisis not a good write at all....it's a wonderful story of sacrifice. The powerful gives all for the powerless. Nice twist. Told simply with a focus that brings a tear to the eye of the reader, your ending simply ripped my heart out with all that love and emotion and sacrifice..."that little boy was me!" powerful. Tks for posting this one. It's a privilege to shake your hand. All of this I feel; one poet to another my friend. Walt.
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Bazza ---Bravo my dear poet! a wonderful piece of poetry, well penned even if it did make me
I thought it was excellent. Well done!
shaz xx
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Great work,
Mukti, Nepal
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well this is certaily cool..but it took me one hell of a time to read it !!! is it an epic ?? ha ha ..just kidding..its good..i like your focus and your energy..
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This is heavy, but brilliant....glad you shared this with us, it's a terrific write
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This is heavy, but brilliant....glad you shared this with us, it's a terrific write
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A really good write, I like stories and you told it very well! You are very talented and you made it a very touching and personal work. Keep it up!
Ella
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good write
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Wonderful Storytelling
This did bring a tear to my eye. You are TheMan! --Ellis -
Congratulations Barry on your Silver Trophy..I'm sooo pleased for you my friend
Hugs Joan
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Thank you for your comment.
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Thank you for the comment and typo fixed.
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I believe there is a typo on line 14, "new." Reminds me of some
of the 19th century heroic poems written by my own kinsman. This seems to herald back to an earlier era, to a time that no longer exists...to a making of a country, and by which heroes could be
made. -
Strewth Bazza you got me with that one mate, me eyes are leakin'. What an absolutely wonderful story and that final personal touch to finish is just perfect, couldn't have been better. You have the done both yourself and our Aussie Team so proud with this Barry, bloody marvellous!
Von -
You clearly have a wonderful ability to deliver a moving story. Fantastic. Best wishes in the contest!~vj
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You're a truly gifted storyteller Bz. This is awesome, havn't time to say more except that I'm impressed with your talent.
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Thankyou Joan, I am so proud that you like my work. I hope you like my other poems which have various subject matter.
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Dear Barry, I am in tears my Friend, what an amazing tale, and to think you were that little boy. Too right the wood is hard, what a bonzer bloke he must've been. Thank you for sharing your story with us. You are amazing Barry! Boy, we were meant to meet that day I saw your name and contacted you about the group. I'm going to enjoy visiting your work and reading your wonderful poems.
Hugs Joan
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Brilliant
I totally agree with WD on this one.. it amazes me that I can be held captive to a poem so intently for longer than 15 seconds... you have a rich talent mate x -
Bloody hell Bazza, that narly brought a tear to my eye. You really have a knack for story telling. I couldn't stop reading having started. I think I have learned more about Australia in a few of your poems than in all the geography leassons put together. Your stories and the way you tell them is just awesome. And the unashamed Ozzy style and flavour give them a real honesty ! I am really impressed with this one, as well.
Superb !
WD
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