You're Not There
(Double Triolet)
I wake to find that you're not there,
the bed is cold, and you are gone.
I go to sleep, and have no care,
I wake to find that you're not there.
That you are gone, I'm much aware,
but is it something I have done?
I wake to find that you're not there,
the bed is cold, and you are gone.
When sorry seems to be the hardest word,
I can but hope that you come back to me.
The world gets all weird and more than absurd,
when sorry seems to be the hardest word.
I know that you think that I am a nerd,
that I need you around to even be.
When sorry seems to be the hardest word,
I can but hope that you come back to me.
© Jim T. Henriksen
January 1st, 2006
Author notes
This double triolet is entered into Brian Boggart´s contest Elton John Songs . The lines in italics is borrowed from Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word by Elton John.
A triolet is an eight line poem or stanza with a set rhyme scheme. Line four and line seven are the same as line one, and line eight is the same as line two. The rhyme scheme is ABaAabAB, capital letters representing the repeated lines. The lines can count eight or ten syllables. I chose to make first triolet with eight, and second triolet with ten syllables per line...
Written January 1st, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Elton John Songs by Blue Eyed and Alive.
350 points, ended August 4, 2006, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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Hi, Brian! Thank you for accepting my poem into your contest. Though it didn't win, I am glad you read it and appreciated it.
Thanks for hosting the contest, and for allowing this prewrite. Jim
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I must admit ignorance in much of what makes different style of poetry. I do know that this is a great piece and truly tells the story in words that flow brilliantly. Thank you for entering.
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How true, how true...
Jim
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Jim.. it is possible to enjoy the sadness. That is why we are poets.
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Hi, Illuminatus!
Good joke! 
I am glad you liked it, though it was sad... Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it! Jim
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I found this very sad but very clever as well. I love how you have used the Elton John song in the verse.. Sorry seems to be the hardest word.
PS. I was learning Urdu.. I'm doing really well but SARI seems to be the hardest word. (joke) ((ok its not very good but still.. )) -
Hi, SusanL! Well, maybe the poem was not exactly what you looked for in the contest, but I have to thank you for giving me the inspiration to write it. Triolet is a form I will use again later. Thank you for your comment, and the applause! Jim
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I know there is a hope in this that the person returns, but there is sadness, and I had truly hoped for more up beat poems. You have done a good job with the form and I hope you consider trying it again sometime.
Thank you for this.
Susan -
Hi, Roz! I am glad you liked it! Thanks for the great comment! Jim
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Great write for such a tricky piece. Well, I think triolets impossible lol. Hope you win the contest with this one!
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Hi, Disturbed Prodigy! I don't know why sorry is the hardest word to say, next to I love you... Weird, really. Thanks for the great comment! Jim
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why is it that, sorry is the hardest word to say next to i love you, why do those two words symbolizes either a good thing like you have a heart or a bad thing like you are weak. this was a good read i loved it and i think that it is never easy to wake up alone when that is not what yo were when you went to sleep. keep it flowing
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Hi, endless! Didn't mean to make you cry...
No, don't cry, you're gonna make me cry aswell... 
Uaaaaaaaah...
Um... Thanks for the comment, and the applause. Jim
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Hi, LoveLyn! A melody for this? Well, it must not be too close to Elton John's original. Send me a midi with the melody! Thanks for the comment, and the applause! Jim
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Hi, Grossmutti! Triolets are tricky, double triolets double tricky. I am glad you like my little tribute to Sir Elton. Thanks for the comment! Jim
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Hi, Deborah! Thanks for visiting. Elton John is one of the best singers alive, and a great source for inspiration. It was a pleasure to join your contest, Pookie! Cross my toes, and hope to win...
Thanks for the comment, and the applause! Jim
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Hi, Big Hearted one. Yes, this is about someone I miss every day that we're not together... Thanks for the comment! Jim
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Hi, ocerus! I glad you liked my double triolet overall. About the words you critiqued, I think you read them wrong. I go to sleep, and have no care, (then) I wake to find that you're not there. I know, the word then is missing from the text, but I felt that it was obvious... Thanks for the comment, and the critique! Jim
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i like it.. i think i can put up a melody for it.. to make it a song... but i'll let you know first.. and if it is okay with you.. great job... :->
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Great Job !!!
Triolets are very tricky little devils, but you have done a great job here. Sad and lovely. The repetition of the strong lines makes this a very powerful form and you have chosen your lines wisely Good luck in the contest, you have my vote!
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Excellent job, my friend. I'm learning more Elton John songs every time I check on this contest! He and Ernie have some excellent writes. Thanks for entering our contest, and good luck!
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so full of sorrow its almost scary i sincerely hope that this person whoever she is comes back to you. a most excelent write my heart was moved by it i thank you for sharing
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This is decent but kind of loses it's focus at the end. But overall this is pretty good. Also I wouldn't say that she is gone and as you go to sleep you "have no cares." If she has left, you'll have cares! But this is pretty good overall, and rhymes pretty well also.
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Hi, Oren! It makes no difference to me if the comment is short, but remember that you need 100 characters to make points. You loose out on a lot of points. Thanks for the comment, and the applause. Jim
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Wow! I'm very impressed I'm not good at long comments, so if you were expecting one, sorry Great write, though.
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Hi, sis! Yeah, I found that my first version had nine syllables on the refrain line, and eight on the rest, so I decided to make it ten on all... Worst part was to rewrite the lines. Thanks for the comment, and the applause! Hugs to you and your husband!
Jim
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Jim, Very interesting bro! Using two syllable counts, one for each separate triolet. Go ahead and make your sis jealous. See if I care. LOL Excellent choice of words and artist to do the triolet with. You are super for sure, not just as a brother, I did mean the poet thing too.
Love and blessings for you and the family, today and always.
your sis, Joyce
Edited on Jan 01, 6:29 p.m. because ''.
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