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Surviving

If all our household goods lay in the grave
Enshrined with you,
If your possessions to the flames I gave
As Roma do,
Then tears could end, and some day I might learn
To shed this pain,
But with each dish I crack, each pan I burn
You die again.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    October 30

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    Sad piece
    It's hard to let go of the ones we've loved and cherished, isn't it?
    Thank you for sharing and being part of this contest!


  • trekkergirl
    May 19

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    interesting. I have never thought about breaking dishes as a form of grief but I guess it would work. Thanks for sharing this creative write with us. I do like it. And thanks for entering it into my contest.

    • Vera Rich gold member
      May 19
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      I have to say that you have given this poem a very different meaning from what it means to me. I come from a culture where one keeps and continues to use the possessions of one's ancestors and dead relatives. (I for example wear a "best" chenille jacket that belonged to my great-grand-mother). But when one accidentally breaks or destroys such things (or if they are stolen from one!) then one relives a once again the grief of that person's death. In particular, if one has shared a home with someone - the instinct is to keep that home exactly as it was in that person's lifetime...

      I know other people interpret it in different ways... One person, who later removed her comment from the page, thought it was about a husband who subconsciously hated his (living) wife and therefore frequently had psychologically-driven "accidents" in which her kitchen utensils were destroyed. This one puzzled me somewhat, as I do not see how the poem could be construed that way!

      But no matter! For I was brought up on the idea that a poem once created is autonomous - and therefore "means" whatever the reader thinks it means. And every reader is entitled to his/her views and all such views have their own validity.

      Which is why I deprecate the use of "writer's notes" to "explain" what a poem means. In my view such a box should be used ONLY to explain some fact, dialectal word, etc that one thinks will be unfamiliar to a significant number of readers - and even that in as few cases as possible. But "explanations" of how and why the author wrote this poem are - as far as I am concerned - a sign that the author has grave doubts about the poem's merits, and is unwilling to let it stand alone.

  • Judith Chandler
    January 29

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    That's beautiful and very true. Objects do bring back thoughts of those who are gone. I treasure those objects.

  • mmook
    January 24
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    well done!! thought poking is a mindset


  • FallenFromGrace1102
    January 1

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    Heartwrenching painful write. I loved it though. how true it is. I wish you the best of luck in my contest and thank you for entering this piece. I really liked the lines:

    "But with each dish I crack, each pan I burn
    You die again."

    *~*bee*~*


  • Nicada silver member
    October 18, 2008

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    Wow! I read through this a few times, and each time caught a little more of the deeper meaning. Deep is what this poem is, and also very sad. To constantly have the reminders of the one who has passed can either keep fond memeries alive, or it can remind one of how much it hurts to miss them. Great job and thanks much for entering. Blessings, Patty


  • Sprite silver member
    October 17, 2008

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    Lovely and well written.

    This is deceptive in its simplicity. You have shown very deep emotion. We all have these feelings of loss and that as each part of our shared existence crumbles, so will the deceased leave us until they disappear. That is untrue, of course. They are always with us. Their memory is always there. ~ Joyce


  • MrsJones
    June 26, 2008

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    Beautiful poem! I loved the last two lines. Posessions from someone you lost become so precious all of a sudden. Thank you for entering.


  • faithwhisperer silver member
    April 8, 2008
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    This is very thought provoking. There is a verse that says, "If I give my body to be burned but have not love I am nothing." Somehow, your poem reminds me of that. It is painful to surrender the pain, but we do have to love also. Thanks for your entry.


  • Rana
    November 12, 2007
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    Wow, I love how so much was said in just seven lines. Wow again. Thank you for entering!
    : )

  • Honeydew
    June 7, 2007

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    this is very deep..very good !lots of deep..one must read between its lines ..i love it !! and thanks for following the rules..title fits your write very well.


  • deercatcher
    June 23, 2006
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    I am always amazed at what resonates in a reader's heart... that is the source; why it is a mystery to you. When you cross an emotional threshold that triggers memories, your body and psyche return to the place of pain and feel exactly the same things... Potent piece.

    If you please:allpoetry.com/Poem/1787988

    All the best to you and praying for ever increasing strength for you...

  • Vera Rich gold member
    May 26, 2006
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    Dear Thistle,

    I am glad that someone else agrees with what I think this poem is "about"! Of course, in one sense, a poem has to be autonomous... and "means" whatever people want it to mean... But your comment goes very much to the heart of what I see in this poem. Thank you...



    Vera


  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    May 26, 2006
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    I realize that this is an older write of yours, but I do believe that some pieces are just priceless. Having been in a situation such as the one you discuss here, this is such a perfect expression of grief. While it deals with items in a kitchen it very much reminded me of the days my mom spent trying to figure out how to use my dads tools and get things done around the house after he passed aways.

    This is a vividly painful write that captures sort of a snapshot of emotion and loss.


  • individuality gold member
    February 20, 2006
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    there are many things which will bring back the pains experienced in our lives, simple reminders they may be like another pan burnt, but they evoke the emotions brought about from another time, relived again in full feelings. a good piece.


  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    January 6, 2006
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    When we lose someone we love we put on our "survival" mask to show the world we're strong enough to carry our burden. It's simply a defense mechanism. We get so used to the protective wall that we build for ourselves that even in times of quiet, we still remain outwardly strong. It's trivial things that make us weep buckets for our loss, we seem to gain strength from disaster. Us humans are a strange breed indeed. Although this write is short in length, it creates many images and produces many thoughts for its audience. The rhyme is easy and it flows well. Pain is a thing we learn to accept and grow from, but it never really goes away, we just learn to wear a brighter mask. Thanks for sharing. La x

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