~by Gregg Rowe~
"Call on God, but row away from the rocks."
--Indian Proverb
My year has been filled with vomit and pain,
My mortality – I accept – it’s great!
They wait – to take me away – these three fates:
Still life flows moon-red blood within my veins.
My best friend she’s been good ’ole mary jane
And I miss my angels, friends – my life’s state
Keeps me confuzzled, unable to rate
This Eve I raise my crystal of champagne
Paradis Fusion
black spots speck on white pages
It’s not War and Peace
Another forty-four weeks I’ve to go
"I call G-d, but -- rocks away from -- I row"
I light my candles in windows so bright
I thank my spirits for giving me life
I promise my illness I’ll lick and kick
Rejoice and sing, let’s, in two thousand six!
Author notes
Let's Sing in 2006: Notes
After penning this for another contest where one of the rules was to explain each line in the poem as best as you can in your author's comments, I decided to keep these notes because of the time they took for me to post them.
Most of my readers know that I prefer not to do this type of slaughter to my own poetry. I feel it spoils the read by spoon feeding the reader with my own interpretation and closes the doors to the reader's interpretation, analysis and imagination.
But, because of the amount of time it took me to pen these notes, I now have decided to keep them within this poem as a sampling of the thoughts that are penned deep within my writings and to challenge the reader to explore deeper into the internal meanings of the poetry.
Gregg
Line 1: My year has been filled with vomit and pain:
I live with three chronic illnesses that I am continuously battling, I call them my three H s: HIV, Heart, and HepC. The Interferon treatments for HepC (which I will finish this program on November 20th, 2006) is as powerful as someone on chemo therapy for cancer, so I am always sick and lack energy.
Line 2: My mortality – I accept – it’s great!
What is my excuse, I cannot sit around and wallow about my death especially for twenty years since I have had so much time to think about it. I cannot see myself as a couch potato wasting away days where I know I have enough energy to be creative and think of ways to be creative on days that I am in bed. Yet once in awhile that nagging devil pops into my head and I get to thinking about the end of life and deathly concepts that are really a waste of my time since there is nothing I am humanly capable of doing except live out my life.
Line 3: They wait – to take me away – these three fates:
I just hope that my ribbon that they end up cutting is the red ribbon with golden scissors for significance of the Golden Rule that I try to live my life by.
Treat Others As You Want To Be Treated
A short essay on the golden rule
www.jcu.edu/philosophy/gensler/goldrule.htm
The golden rule is endorsed by all the great world religions; Jesus, Hillel, and Confucius used it to summarize their ethical teachings. And for many centuries the idea has been influential among people of very diverse cultures. These facts suggest that the golden rule may be an important moral truth.
Let's consider an example of how the rule is used. President Kennedy in 1963 appealed to the golden rule in an anti-segregation speech at the time of the first black enrollment at the University of Alabama. He asked whites to consider what it would be like to be treated as second class citizens because of skin color. Whites were to imagine themselves being black - and being told that they couldn't vote, or go to the best public schools, or eat at most public restaurants, or sit in the front of the bus. Would whites be content to be treated that way? He was sure that they wouldn't - and yet this is how they treated others. He said the "heart of the question is ... whether we are going to treat our fellow Americans as we want to be treated."
The golden rule is best interpreted as saying: "Treat others only in ways that you're willing to be treated in the same exact situation." To apply it, you'd imagine yourself in the exact place of the other person on the receiving end of the action. If you act in a given way toward another, and yet are unwilling to be treated that way in the same circumstances, then you violate the rule.
To apply the golden rule adequately, we need knowledge and imagination. We need to know what effect our actions have on the lives of others. And we need to be able to imagine ourselves, vividly and accurately, in the other person's place on the receiving end of the action. With knowledge, imagination, and the golden rule, we can progress far in our moral thinking.
The golden rule is best seen as a consistency principle. It doesn't replace regular moral norms. It isn't an infallible guide on which actions are right or wrong; it doesn't give all the answers. It only prescribes consistency - that we not have our actions (toward another) be out of harmony with our desires (toward a reversed situation action). It tests our moral coherence. If we violate the golden rule, then we're violating the spirit of fairness and concern that lie at the heart of morality.
The golden rule, with roots in a wide range of world cultures, is well suited to be a standard to which different cultures could appeal in resolving conflicts. As the world becomes more and more a single interacting global community, the need for such a common standard is becoming more urgent.
Line 4: Still life flows moon-red blood within my veins.
Still has a double meaning:
Still as in waiting as in still life painting and still as in the meaning of a continuum .
Line 5: My best friend she’s been good ’ole mary jane
The illegal medication – slang for marijuana -- that I use to ease my pain and I feel as soon as I huff a puff. The level decreases enabling me to function to some degree during the day so that I can remain autonomous and mobile.
Line 6: And I miss my angels, friends – my life’s state
Line 7: Keeps me confuzzled, unable to rate
I really miss reading and commenting at this poetry site. And I always feel guilty when I have a list full of critiques to go through and so I resort to the applause button for now, hoping that my angels, friends, acquaintances, readers, fans all realize that I am reading their works and as soon as I am finished this Interferon treatment we are hoping that I will gain my concentration back.
Line 8: This Eve I raise my crystal of champagne
I have a lot of reason, angels, friends, family to raise my glass to this year. All of you who have journeyed with me here from the beginning, or climbed on board when we docked in storyland, or philosphyworld I thank you for the ride. Your comments and critiques has enabled me to look further and deeper within myself and discover some things about my writings from a different perspective. And that is one of the reason why I joined this site. To get some input on my children that I have created. And to learn. Not just to learn but also to relearn. Honestly, there are over two hundred angels to thank on this website, so I just want you to know that I have been paying attention to the cyber world of poetry created on this site. Just Christmas Eve day was spend sending out my annual wishes to all of you. Know that you are always in my heart and thoughts and tonight on New Year’s Eve I will send a big hug up to the stars so that they may send it back down to you through the twinkle of their kisses.
Line 9: Paradis Fusion
This is the name of my novel that I have now written a first draft for. It is also French for paradise which in English means garden and is often symbolically referred to as The Garden of Eden .
Paradis is also the last name of my roommate and he has given me permission to use as the title. I owe my life this day to this man. He is my nurse, caregiver, buddy, friend, teacher, and confident. We have been living as friends for the past thirteen years and have built a solid life together, enjoying two communities and doing various artistic events and volunteer services. He has also built me a house to retire, which we both worked on all sumemr and I named the land Paradis and he has promised me a complete wall-to-wall fireplace library and art studio downstairs so that I can have my space to paint and write. He is my biggest angel, watching me being wheeled in on a gurney for a heart operation so that they could prescribe the Interferon. I wish I could have some of these blackout memories I experienced through this trauma so I could understand more of what is happening to me.
Fusion is the fusing of the friendship between an Anglophone and a francophone and their quest in their search for love.
Line 10: black spots speck on white pages
This is the sound of a computer key clicking away as I type 2000 words a day to have a draft copy of Paradis Fusion finished in thirty days in the NaNoWriMo -- National Novel Writing Month contest.
Line 11: It’s not War and Peace
Another double meaning. The whole novel I wrote is about war and peace. Inner and outer with the main character. It is a family battle and includes a journey of self-discovery.
Also , this is in reference to the novel and the very first instruction we received in writing a novel. Make sure that the opening sentence of your novel grabs/hooks the reader. Your first line. Hook and sink them into your passion of words. It took me three-and-half hours to come up with my opening line for my novel, and another five to finish the first paragraph. I did not get my 2000 words in that day on November 1st, 2005; but made up for lost time once that first paragraph was done.
All I could think of for the best opening line that I read when I opened a book was the opening line from War and Peace .
Why was I so intriqued with this line, because the story opens up with a conversation in process; one of the no-no's of novel writing -- so some say:
" “Well, Prince, so Genoa and Lucca are now just family estates of the Buonapartes" ... "
For the curious the opening line of Paradis Fusion is:
..don't peek if you want to wait...
I, Demain Teague Rowlan, do not know at what point I died.
Line 12: Another forty-four weeks I’ve to go
The number of weeks I have left for my Interferon treatment.
Line 13: "I call G-d, but -- rocks away from -- I row"
The re-arranged quote that opened up this poem.
Line 14: I light my candles in windows so bright
Dec 1st : Light a candle to commemorate those who have succumbed to AIDS.
Dec 6th : Light a candle at 7:00 PM your time to commemorate those families who have lost a child.
Dec 14th : Light a candle at 5:00 PM your time to commemorate the 14 women who were murdered at École Polytéchnique in Montréal and to remember Violence Against Women.
December 24th : Place a candle in your window to help those find their way home this evening.
Line 15: I thank my spirits for giving me life
I have rediscoverd a spirituality that suits my needs and beneficial within the boundaries of my morals and philosophies to help me grow in life. It is a mosaïc of beliefs that I have blended into to my writes to give them an ethereal air.
Line 16: I promise my illness I’ll lick and kick
I have what I call light headaches, it is where the light gives me pins and needles pain inside my head and this causes nauseas and vomiting. I pass the days just keeping my weight on and dabble in my writings as much as my brain allows me. But now I accept all this and I just sit and wonder on some days how much time I have left, so I see myself rush things. I do miss the time here, it is energy consuming for me to try and keep up with all the messages and comments, but I know that I will soon be back and visiting all of you in the near future.
line 17: Rejoice and sing, let’s, in two thousand six!
It's just a difficult life state for me presently because I have a dream that is being helped fulfilled by two generous people here: my overseas friends Angelica (Joan) and Hugh Wyles! In November, I completed my first DRAFT manuscript for my novel and have entered a course that I can take at home through the internet instead of attending university, so in 2006, my novel Paradis Fusion will be completed. This is where I will be spending the highest percentage of my writing over the next year. There comes a time when you need to quit procrastinating and sit at the typewriter and do your job, that is my new attitude because honestly, my friends, we really never know when that ribbon is going to be cut.
So this New Year's Eve, I wish everyone of my angels here a very Happy New Year!
I have come to value your friendship, comradeship and laughter over the past year and a half. Your messages and humour have kept me going over these trying times and there are not enough applauses at allpoetry.com to repay each and everyone of yous. So I will send you all my biggezt and wonderezt , most valueablezt and cozzinezt Winnie the Pooh hug that I can create.
Thank you*
Gregorian Sonnaiku
(How To Write This New Form—Learning Column)
by lordoftherings on Feb 05 (Column)
allpoetry.com/Column/1043872*
Written December 31st, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- An Invitational Affair by Kendall Campbell.
300 points, ended January 18, 2006, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Thanksgiving by isabellamom.
300 points, ended December 28, 2006, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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thank you for sharing and entering in the contest
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It takes a lot of courage to accept death in such a way, I've admired that in the work I've read of yours. I'm surprised, living in Canada, that you'd have to get your mary jane the illegal way. Thank you for your entry, take care and God bless.
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touching
This poem is one that is profoundly honest and very close to my heart sice i recently lost a friend and great poet that most liely experienced the same feelings Great work -
A very creative and great form you have used. A beautiful messege is written in this poem and it encourages us to strive for the better in the coming years. Great job!
Happy 2006!
Riche
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This was very creative - well done
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This is very creative.
What you have written will take me time to read. But I liked how you started this piece. It is surely one that I must come back to when I have more time to just take it all in. What an interesting and highly creative piece you have done. -
excellent writing
This is a wonderful poem you have written here. I really like this new form you have created. The name alone intrigues me.
I wish you Peace and love in the New Year 2006. I enjoyed reading this Sonnaiku very much. I pray that you do kick your illness.
etherealforu
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You show great strength and inner refletion in your words. how wonderful of you to let us get a glimpse.Amazingly moving
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Wonderful
As usual, Gregg, your writing intrigues and enlightens. This is a very beautiful piece written in a fascinating form only you could devise. Do well, eat well, and know that you are in my prayers; and, remember that none of us can number our days. Even Jesus, at one point in His ministry, ask the Father, "May I know the number of my days?"
When you lift your crystal of champagne, hear me say, "May ALL your new year's days be filled with so many blessings that you lose count!"
Lots of love and hugs, B♥nnieQ 
Edited on Dec 31, 7:18 p.m. because ''. -
wow that was beautiful
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I love the poem, love the background. I was just as intrigued by your comments as I was by the poem. I like the format - I will have to bookmark this, and maybe sometime take a crack at this kind of poetry. I admire your strength and the 'fight' you have in you. I hope you have a wonderful and blessed 2006.
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amazing write. You bring hope for change within yourself and for all the rest of uss happy 2006! . Kepp on writing those great poems
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awesome
you are a truly stronger person to be able to endure all that and then go on to write such a beautiful poem. this is amazing you did a great job. this is fantastic great job ~courtney~ -
Excellent
Gregg, it is so nice to see you once again in our midst Your words are always profound..I salute you my friend
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Wow. I know I've never seen a poem like this. I like the French and Italian thing.. Those are my two heritages. Lovely poem. It is very sad however. I hope you are as well as you can be and I hope you have a wonderful year in 2006.
Amanda
P.S. On a personal note I LOVE the background! Awsome!! I can tell you who they all are (left to right.)
Borimir, Bill the Pony, Sam, Aragorn, Pippin, Merry, Gimli, Legolas, Frodo, and Gandlaf the Gray!
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Hi my friend you will make it , you area suvivor as is so clear in your poems, I know how you feel,you have the spirit to fight the battle and I am sure all of us keep you in our prayers, so here's to the next 100 years of your poetry, a great write, all the best and a very happy new year, a special hug Di
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You are a good writer. I hope to see your novel soon. I wish you well in your journey back to health. Keep kicking even if its just dog paddling for a while. God Keep and Bless you in the New Year! Cheers!
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This is a wonderful poem! I saw a lot of feeling and trepidation in this writing. I am sorry for your ills. I will pray for you! Take care! Keep penning as long as you can!Happy New Year!
Love,
LadyJayne -
dont u stop fighting ok...thats one promise i expect for you to keep
the write is very powerful and subtle too but the message thats being conveyed is very evident
Rae
PS: i got a new years bbg and bg if you want them just let me know -
truely magnificent!!
Wow. This is truely amazing, and with your sickness in hand, grab it tight and squeeze the life out of it, my friend. I hope all is well, and never lose hope. God has a hand on your shoulder and when you need it the most, his fingers will interlock with yours. You're a great spirit and a wonderful soul. Keep the faith you have and never lose a smile, because you never know who will be watching.
God bless.
And keep writing, you're a wonderful poet.
You have the gift of gifts; you're a poet of life.
Smile.
Tawni -
Hey, I havn't been on much lately but it is always refreshing to read your poems. It must have been two years ago we first spoke and I read a lot about you and your life is such a tradgedy but you take it so full on and really let it develope who you are and completley transcend that into your poetry. It's completley inspirational. It's like you're not dying any more than the rest of us, but you're living more than any of us.I wish you the best new year. Thank you for lending your grace into another wonderful poem
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You are ana amazingly strong person dealing with all you have to deal with and I really aspire to be as strong as you. Your author's Notes nearly made me cry - I have depression and sometimes I just wish I was able to write as joyously as you do in this piece. An amazing poem. xxx
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Mieraculous strength
Wow, you are such a strong person to endure all of that and still create such great poetry! I have known people on interferon and it is intense stuff. I hope you heal well! Happy New Year, may it be filled with life and many more poems and other writings as great as this!
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