random thoughts of us

I am all alone again, another Friday night
well, you're here with me, or should I say, I am with you
um, we are with each other, but I am sitting here, and you are laying there
I am just reading a book, or writing another stupid poem

do you even know I am with you? do you know where you are?

this hospital must feel like a prison to you
you haven't left in a while, you haven't said much, or moved much either
you just lay there, and rest, do you have any thoughts at all?
the silence of the room is maddening, except for that annoying beep, at least I know you are fine

do you know I am with you? do you know where you are?

well, I just got that call, I doubt you heard, it was that one friend you met
he wanted me out with my friends tonight, but obviously I won't leave you
this humming of the dim lights, this sickening pattern of the cheap tile, I am starting to get used to this
well, I am here every night, so why wouldn't it start to feel like home

do you know I am with you? do you know where you are?

sometimes I wonder if you will ever wake up, sometimes I envision it
you wake up when I am in the room, and I am the first sight you see
it would make sense, since I was the last sight you saw before you went out
remember the panic, remember the desperation, remember me saying you will be ok

do you know I am with you? do you know where you are?

why did you do it? why did you take those pills? why did you starve yourself?
why do I have to come here everyday, and just sit here.... talking to myself I guess
what is the point, I have run these thoughts through my head a million times
every time I do, it becomes more frustrating

do you know I am with you? do you know where you are?

still, it is too addicting not to think about the possibilities when you wake up
we can pick up where we left off, all our dreams, all our hopes, it can still be
our college degrees earned, our careers started, our life together, and all that comes with it
the good times, the bad times, the celebrations, the life, the potential of it all

do you know I am with you? do you know where you are?

remember all those promises we made to each other? we can still have them
but for now, here we are, in this damn hospital
with the annoying beep of the machine next to you, beneath the hum of the dim lights, shining off these stupid tiles
you lying there, and me sitting here