In my dreams I dance with you on top a star lit hill
The nighttime breeze blows softly and there is an autumn chill
Our bodies swaying gently on the newly fallen leaves
We steal this moment from the world , two unrepentant thieves
Barren trees that guard us keep an ever watchful eye
To warn us if reality should happen to pass by
We never break our rhythm as our eyes in passion meet
Waves of love consume me and I lift you off your feet
Your laughter fills the night air as I twirl you in my arms
My heart a willing prisoner forever to your charms
We fall to earth together and our lips touch in a kiss
No riches wrought of man could buy a feeling such as this
Trembling hands and surging hearts, we love away the night
So fleeting will the darkness be before the coming light
For with the dawning of the sun you'll fade away as these
The passing days of autumn and the newly fallen leaves
Author notes
Option 1 c
A contest entry
- Quote Inspired Again by chasing rainbows.
600 points, ended January 27, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything you want...Show me Your Best Poems..I need inspiration..PW's Welcome! by Hetha.
2100 points, ended August 20, 2008, 159 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~_Options! Topic : Thoughts on Love_~ by City-of-Angels.
500 points, ended November 16, 2008, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Autumn Background & Poetry by poets whisper.
650 points, ended September 23, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
I loved the references to nature in this poem. It made the reader visualize things well. You've pretty much summed up my feelings about love, in a poetic way of course
"We steal this moment from the world , two unrepentant thieves"
Loved that line. Thanks for entering this and good luck
-
Wonderful!!! No wonder this won Gold.Beautiful words creating beautiful feelings.....A truly lovely piece...Excellent...mal
-
Simply beautiful! Thank you for gracing my contest with it.
-
nice write
-
:)
WHAT AN AMAZING PIECE!i'm speechless!
-
wow.
uh, wow.
this is SO romantic and just beautifully written. the rhyme just flows so well. -
-
Thanks so much for the gold
-
-
Beautiful imagery! I was captivated from the very first line!
I just wish you had added what I requested in the description, you might have won a trophy. -
lovely read...
I have to say that you are quite the romantic...
-
-
( sheepish grin) thank you
-
-
Came back to read this again..having your book isn't enough. you should have a gold for this..or gold encrusted with diamonds..sigh. All your poetry is like this..I'm either going, "awwww" cause it's dark..or "awwwwwwwww" cause....I'm dark LOL.
-
Magnificent writing
12 reads (up to now) This is INSANE. You are one of the BEST, the very best. -
Yes, (sigh) that the way it goes with dreams isn't it. I think this one is my favorite. I love the idea of unrepentant theives. That's just priceless. I alos love the line aboutthe trees standing guard in case reality passes by. Speaking o the trees, I like the way u subtely incorporated autumn throughout the poem with the barren trees and the leaves on the ground. That's very nicely done. Of course, I 'm lovin the sadness of the end. The image of her disapearing with the rising of the sun is so potent. And the dream fading withthe passage of autumn and the leaves is just wonderful Rakerman. Beautiful write sir. Au Revoir!
- The Common Saint -
A very nice flow to this... your rhythm is steady and the sound is melodious. A beautiful piece. I enjoyed this.
Nicely done.
~ Wendy
-
Beautiful
Yes this is a great write! I too love the line of 'We steal this moment from the world, two unrepentant thieves' and of course the lines about the barren trees keeping watch should reality rear its ugly head. Lots of great imagery used to express a beautiful night be it imaginary lovers or real romance. -
every word perfect.. rythem (hehe) is wonderful too. It leaves me sighing and crying. I always cry at something beautiful. What talent you have.. awww raker.. it's gorgeous.
-
~sighs, Raker this is lovely. Sounds like every girls dreams, and apparently a guys dream too
Wonderful penned. This just flowed like honey down the page and left me sighing and exhaling. 
Beautiful work
~Lyrical
-
I loved this! "We steal this moment from the world , two unrepentant thieves" My favorite line. I really liked how you ended it, too. Sad and yet hopeful, like maybe the next night you'll see her again. I really really liked this!
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
